F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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anothermum_uk
A little vent.
D is currently 46kg having regained some fluid from her dehydrated weight of 45kg. Her weight before all this was 54kg with her 'norm' being around 53kg, she has always been tall and slender. She she clearly needs to gain weight. She cannot accept that she needs to gain and thinks that staying at her current weight will be ok.

So last time we saw GP she made a comment abut D not eating many vegetables, this was when her food diary was showing one sandwich per day only. And also had entries on which days she had purged. I screamed inside. I don't give a stuff about vegetables, she needs calorie density not low cal things that fill her up! I'd rather she had vitamins from a tablet until her intake is higher.
And now today, GP says "I'm not telling you to gain weight, it's ok to stay as you are so long as you don't lose anymore" WHAT?!
46kg for a girl who is 5'6" - 5'7"
I despair


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Red
Swuk, I think it's probably time to book yourself a double appointment with the GP, arm yourself with information from here and have a productive chat! At best, this gives a BMI of 16.7, way below the healthy range of 21-25!
The future is not set; there is no fate but that which we make for ourselves.

"Not my daughter, you bitch." Mrs. Weasley
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MarcellaUK
Did you go in with d? I'm not trying to defend this GP who seems to be utterly clueless, but it isn't unheard of for the ED to hear, and repeat, only what it wants to hear and be heard. If you did actually witness these comments and the GP really is saying it's OK to be this unwell then you are better off without her. Can you change GP, or get your daughter's weight monitored via CAMHS?
Fiona Marcella UK
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Ladybugs_Journey_CAN
Just before diagnosis my D was 100lbs at 5'8". She was not only physically ill but mentally ill. I wonder what evidence your GP is seeing to suggest your D doesn't need to gain. I'm feel for you. Is your D seeing an ED specialist of any sort? A dietician?
- three teens and hubby all with special needs; blended family - D18 is Ladybug; fed at home for three months, then inpatient far away for three months. We lost nine family members in that same year including her step-mom,both grandfathers,four uncles - She now insists on living on own - family falling apart.
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anothermum_uk
Hi Red, yes, well I did say to D as we left that we don't seem to be gaining anything from these appts as we have CAMHS which includes a psychiatrist; and next week have our first paediatrician appt which will bring in a dietician too. I think GP will be just for bloods & ecg but can see the nurse for that. 
Marcella - yes I was there and heard the comment. Could not believe it, especially as D needs to keep hearing that weight gain is not a choice its a necessity, she is getting this loud & clear from camhs. And yesterday asked me to explain why she must gain and not stay as she is. SO we talked a lot about repair to damaged systems and organs as well as muscle and bone.
Talk about being undermined.

Yes LBJ, my D is physically unwell as del as mentally unwell. How the GP can validate her anorexic thinking is utterly beyond me. 

Needless to say I will try to see a different GP next time, if we need to. 
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MarcellaUK
if the psychiatrist recommends blood tests etc, these would usually be done by the nurse or phlebotomist at the surgery rather than a GP, so maybe she won't have to see a GP at all. If the psychiatrist is directing the tests perhaps s/he can also direct the manner in which they are done, i.e. clinically and without comment with results coming to those who are in charge of her treatment; mum and the CAMHS team. If you can spare the time though you would be doing everyone who comes across her again in a similar situation a favour if you can book that double appointment and educate the GP.
Fiona Marcella UK
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DolphinUK
swuk

I agree with Marcella too. I armed myself with info from here and printed it all off along with leaflets/ b-eat website,etc and handed it to my GP. I believe it has been of some use.
If you go into the FEAST website via the link at the top of this page, you will find loads of evidence based information you can print.

Hugs x
You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore
Christopher Columbus
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mamabear
When we have in the past taken our D to doc and dietician- I literally met with them ahead of time and basically said "This is what I need from you. I need you to back me up. I need you to tell her that her parents know what they are doing and you need to trust them." I gave them lists of books and information. The dietician was a deer in the headlights. She did exactly what we asked while she was visibly shaking of terror. She was young and new and I do not hink knew one thing about eds (how this is possible to go through schooling as a dietician without ed education baffles me). Our doctor has been very cooperative and has read books and asked good questions. But frankly- we have run the show. It is so hard.

When D was inpt the psychiatrist would call me while D was IN the room with her and discuss all sorts of things- including medications. I finally walked into her office and asked for a private appt. I told her I was not a fan of the way she was handling things. To talk about this in FRONT of my daughter was not acceptable. She told me that in true Maudsley method, nothing is kept from the patient- I said that I did not care about that- my kid was 10 and we would take from maudsley what worked for us and leave what didn't. I told her I wanted to be captain of the ship. I am sorry you are dealing with all of this. Yuck. Hang in there- and fight with your gut.
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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gobsmacked_US
That makes me steaming mad.

At our pediatricia's office, the nurse practitioner does all the usual tests (weight, blood pressure, etc.). If you can get something like this to happen, I recommend it.

Also, we had our daughter weighed at the dietician for several months while we were figuring out who we'd be seeing regularly as a pediatrician. After that we brought our scale (which had been in hiding) to our therapist. The pediatrician doesn't have to do the weighing although obvious it would be good you felt like s/he knew what s/he was doing.
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anothermum_uk
thanks for all of your support. The paediatrician we are booked to see next week runs the ED clinic so should be more in tune, and they have a specialist dietician so that should also be on the same track. Camhs are very clear that gaining weight is compulsory and not an optional extra. 
The GP is found and I thought had engaged D. This is unacceptable and I plan to meet with my own GP in the sam practice to discuss, and ask her to see D for a more realistic session, if we need to see the GP at all. A others say, the tests are ok to be done with a nurse and then the paediatrician handle the rest.

Having said all this she is eating 2-3 times more than she was, although still only half (or less) of what is needed to gain weight. 

I might photocopy some of Janet Treasure's book and take that in, the OBE might help! 

Mamabear - it's beyond me how anyone can believe that it is the right thing to include a 10 year old in all discussions! Crazy! Well down for putting them straight. 
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Purple_UK
You shouldn't need to see the GP once involved with CAMHS.
Blood tests might be done at the hospital as well.
This makes me so ANGRY!
it's totally destructive and counter productive.
Agree with others, your GP needs educating.
You more than anyone else should know the format
Purple 
Where there's a will there's a way.
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Red
After a couple of false starts, we had one nurse at our GP's who did weight & blood pressure the way we wanted. We refused to go to the other because she would send dad out of the room etc.
The future is not set; there is no fate but that which we make for ourselves.

"Not my daughter, you bitch." Mrs. Weasley
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Onemoremum_UK
Perhaps you should tell the other health professionals about the comments and how unhelpful they are? Or write a formal complaint and set out the reasons why this attitude potentially breaches their duty of care towards their patient? It is appalling.
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anothermum_uk
The irony is that my job is handling complaints....
I will certainly have a conversation with my own GP who has always been responsive and appropriate. A letter and links to suitable resources I think too. 
D has eaten less today but that may be because I was out at work instead of home to oversee. Even with me here she's not getting enough in. 


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Purple_UK
Pls tell that to CAMHS as well...
I know you're very worried.
You're being a super mum to your D, doing all the right things.
This illness is so strong and powerful.
But so are you xx
Purple 
Where there's a will there's a way.
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melstevUK
swuk,

Just to say how I sympathise - the awful thing about anorexia nervosa more than any other illness is that one useless comment from a medical professional who just doesn't 'get it' can have such devastating consequences for parents/carers and the patient and seriously jeopardise recovery, or make it extremely difficult to get back on track.  I have experienced this a lot and it makes me fume.
I am raging on your behalf - and I agree that speaking to your own GP (in a calm and reasonable manner!) is probably the best way forward to educating the other doctors in the practice. 

Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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