F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Sign up Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 3 of 15      Prev   1   2   3   4   5   6   Next   »
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #51 

Foodsupport,
What a great story! 
I can actually smell those muffins!
MMMMM yummy! 

XXX


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #52 

4kgc, 
Dancing and solos and smiling out of joy!!  A hug, and a Poster "I heart you!!" . These stories are overwhelmingly powerful and a statement to the commitment, time, energy, effort and the boundless love we have for our loved ones. 

I know that these "kids" did this but really it is your love that made it not just possible but REAL!!

These moments are monumental and every time I read these, I am really touched and I cry happy tears for all of us. 
XOXOXO 


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #53 


needhelp,
 Having food with her! What can I say? So lovely!

XXX


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 5,513
Reply with quote  #54 
Love this thread!

I just want to say that not all gold star moments are as big as many posted here.  Taking one bite more than required, wearing something other than the same old tattered blue hoodie, having a meal where NO food is thrown would all qualify under the circumstances you would expect.  Even "I got through another day" can be huge!

So I hope we can hear from more of the people earlier on in the battle, because your victories belong here, too. (And from more of the folks at every stretch of the journey, of course!) xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Torie

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 5,513
Reply with quote  #55 
Here's my latest:

I overheard my d say to her friend, "I'm SO hungry."

The next day, her friend wasn't there, and my d said, "I'm really hungry."  Then she realized who she had said this to and quickly amended, "I mean, not HUNGRY hungry, just ..."  xx

-Torie

__________________
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
needhelp

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 109
Reply with quote  #56 
So much fun to get on this thread and share everybody's joy -- after all - we each truly understand how special these moments are -- and what it has taken to reach them (yes - getting through another day counts!). I think it's fascinating that even though we are from all corners of the world, we so easily comprehend one another's victories (true - defeats too - but not on THIS thread[nono]). Keep celebrating -it makes us all smile!!
4kgc

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 18
Reply with quote  #57 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Torie
Love this thread!

I just want to say that not all gold star moments are as big as many posted here.  Taking one bite more than required, wearing something other than the same old tattered blue hoodie, having a meal where NO food is thrown would all qualify under the circumstances you would expect.  Even "I got through another day" can be huge!

So I hope we can hear from more of the people earlier on in the battle, because your victories belong here, too. (And from more of the folks at every stretch of the journey, of course!) xx

-Torie


Thank you for this reminder! I could not agree more! In fact, those first small moments were the most important of all, because they gave us the hope to keep on doing this very hard work. 

I would encourage those earlier on, as well, to remember what an up and down battle this is. I desperately needed the hope of those early, small victories....but when (inevitably) there followed a hard day or a revelation of more restricting or some other setback, I would often plunge all the deeper into despair. Looking back, I can see that I was placing the wrong expectations on those victories. Instead of celebrating them as evidence of progress, I was expecting them to mean that 'the worst was over' and it would all be downhill from there. One of the biggest steps forward for me personally (which certainly ended up being incredibly helpful for my D as well, as I was more stable) was when I reached the point where I could celebrate the victories but also look at the downturns as feedback opportunities, readjust, and move on without it feeling like a disaster. Later, when I found this forum, I saw someone describe that same process and remark that it was actually sort of a mantra around here. I wish I'd found this forum earlier in our journey, and I'm so glad for those who have...there is so much good advice and encouragement here!

needhelp

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 109
Reply with quote  #58 
YES! To what everyone has said about these Gold Star moments - they all count - and you are speaking to an audience that can truly appreciate even what may seem to be the tiniest victory - all valid because they move our kids in the right direction, and give us a chance to smile -- and even laugh[rofl]
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #59 

So we had and incident today and I want to make this positive. 

I am redecorating our living room and I wish to get rid of the piano. D came with me to look at fabrics and colours today D knows the plans for the piano. She came up to me just before lunch and told me "mom, I am scared to tell you something, please don't be mad." Well my anxiety went through the roof... then she said that she had dumped food in the piano bench many months ago, in the summer, well before WR. Well there is mold and yuck in the bench and the bench may not be salvageable, but I don't care at all. I really don't. 

So I tried to reassure her that, that was when she was sick and I am not mad at her. I told her she was so brave to tell me and that was a long time ago when ED was being mean to her. She felt badly, I told her it was ok. I have asked if there is anymore stuff I need to find She says no. I will still look to ensure my D is safe.
 
I am labeling it a gold star moment, as it showed me that she knows that she can be honest with me, she knows that she is safe  with me and that she can "tell on ED" and not feel badly. It shows me her maturity. With ED there was no way she would have told me. So it is a good day, a gold day.

Thinking of all of you and  where you may be in the stages of this illness and how it really throws us for a loop and a half all the time.
Remember all victories deserve gold stars no matter how small you may think they are. 

XXX

 


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
needhelp

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 109
Reply with quote  #60 
Just needed to share this with a group of moms who would understand- she got her period back!
Foodsupport_AUS

Avatar / Picture

Lead Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 3,990
Reply with quote  #61 
Yay. Definitely a cause for celebration that others don't understand. A necessary milestone on the way to recovery. 


__________________
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
tina72

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,373
Reply with quote  #62 
Hi needhelp,
that is really a gold star moment! I so remember when this was the case here one year ago. You will get it! Now fight that bastard out of the house!

Tina72

__________________
d off to University now 2 years after diagnose, still doing FBT and relapse prevention 
needhelp

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 109
Reply with quote  #63 
Thank you so much!!! I have to say this Forum is so wonderful - here for when you are frightened and wiping frustrated, angry, and scared tears -- and here when you are wiping away tears of joy -- that only parents in similar situations could understand. I am so thankful that I found this Forum - thank you for being here for both types of tears : )
tina72

Avatar / Picture

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 2,373
Reply with quote  #64 
Mine today:
"Can I have a bigger slice of cheesecake?"
"Can you add some cream to the sauce? It is too spicy."
Tina72

__________________
d off to University now 2 years after diagnose, still doing FBT and relapse prevention 
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #65 
needhelp she got the period back That is wonderful
Tina asking for more cheesecake wow!!
yesterday was d 13th birthday and she asked for French toast for breakfast. I was blown away! I am so happy for everyone.
keep posting it gives us hope and strength to soldier on


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
HopeNZ

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 146
Reply with quote  #66 
Yesterday, she woke up and said, 'I feel like a cooked breakfast.  Hmmm, I think I'll make waffles'.  And so she did!  And she had three good helpings, including syrupy toppings.  *happy sigh*
4kgc

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 18
Reply with quote  #67 
Love love love to read these gold star moments! What a beautiful thing when they can actually enjoy foods like waffles and French toast...and when they feel the strength to ask for them or to make them when they want them, don't have to listen to nasty ED telling them they 'can't' have it!
debra18

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 258
Reply with quote  #68 
Pizza and onion soup in a restraunt
needhelp

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 109
Reply with quote  #69 
This is the thread to go to when you want to smile - am so happy for you and all your families- so wonderful to celebrate the WINS!
tammy

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 98
Reply with quote  #70 
So happy for everyone who has posted gold star moments. We had gold star weekend last weekend. Our son ate in Pizza Hut and McDonalds in the same weekend. I never thought I would get him to eat a McDonalds again!
To top it off he got height and weight checked on Monday and he is steadily putting on weight and he has grown 3cm in eight weeks!
He has also gone from exercise compulsion to sitting playing the x box!
debra18

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 258
Reply with quote  #71 
Mine is also about pizza. I started with whole wheat pizza than once she ate regular pizza. This week I made whole wheat pizza and she said "I hate whole wheat pizza. Can you give me only the regular one?" I thought my daughter wouldn't eat pizza again.
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #72 

SO happy for all the pizza eating!
Pizza is a hard food for someone with ED. It is a common thing to do the "pizza challenge" if you get through that you can get through anything.
McDonald's is a big one too, tammy!! And he is growing! That is great and he is SITTING! So much to be ecstatic about! Cheering for you all!!

food+ more food+ time+ love =healing---> recovery
XXX

 

 


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
needhelp

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 109
Reply with quote  #73 
YAY!  That's great about the pizza - especially the "regular" pizza.

My daughter showed me a picture of herself a couple of weeks into treatment and said, "Really, how could I not think people would notice!?" So funny!!
atdt31_US

Caregiver
Registered:
Posts: 451
Reply with quote  #74 
My d has decided to swap out water and drink caloric liquids instead. Poured herself two small glassses of milk last night and has been drinking juice in place of water through the day for a few days. I am posting this here and hoping it is not a short term thing she will burn out on. I have told her this will be years not days or weeks, so hopefully she does not have unrealistic expectations of how long she will need to keep up this style of eating, which is not at all natural for her.
__________________
Mom of either pre-diagnosis or non-ed underweight 12 yoa (as of March 2018) kid here to learn how to achieve weight gain.  BMI steadily in the mid 12's for nearly her entire life.  Born 2006. UPDATE:  April 2018 diagnosed ARFID, based solely on weight being less than 75% of Ideal Body Weight.  Mildly picky, but mostly the problem is a volume/early satiety issue, along with abdominal discomfort and chronic constipation, all present since birth. FWIW ED-D is a fraternal twin and we have no other kids.
scaredmom

Moderator
Registered:
Posts: 1,152
Reply with quote  #75 

atdt31_US,
I  am pleased that you posted this gold star moment! 
The fact that SHE decided this is really positive!

XXX


__________________
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

WTadmin