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Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #76 
Went clothes shopping with my d yesterday, she wanted to wear size small, but when I asked her to try on medium she did without a fuss!
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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her. Now working on intuitive eating.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #77 
My d had her last day in school today and they dressed up like "first schoolday" with old satchel and school cone and she really asked me if I can fill it again with sweets!
Never thought she would ever finish school and never thought she would ever eat sweets again one year ago...
Tina72

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scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #78 
I really look forward to everyone posting here.  It gives me a smile to know that ED is being beaten around the world- moment by moment, person by person!
Mamaroo, Larger clothes,is HUGE progress. It feels so good to see that the size doesn't matter to her. Because ,IT DOES NOT MATTER!!

 edhater, Two fear foods and ice cream and chocolate chips! Amazing!! What a day in the edhater house- HURRAY!!

Last day of school tina, WOW. She has grown up!  And asking for sweets! These are the dreams you had and there it is in real life. You did this, you got her here. So wonderful!
May I ask what is a school cone? [smile]
XXX


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Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
tina72

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Reply with quote  #79 
Hi scaredmom,
in the moment I wrote it I thought it might be the wrong word:
I need some help from you all to translate it because google translater gave me "school cone" and that seem to be wrong.

When kids go to school for the first day in Germany they get a big coloured paper cone filled with little gifts and sweets from their parents.
like that:
https://www.amazon.de/Schult%C3%BCte-Eisk%C3%B6nigin-verst%C3%A4rkter-Lackkarton-Filzverschluss/dp/B01DNER2R8

What is the correct word in english for it?
Tina72

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scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #80 
Tina72,
Thanks for explaining.
I think cone is the best word. There is no wrong word [smile]. It is a cone filled with sweets! I love it. Wish we had that tradition here in Canada.
What a great way to celebrate going to school.
XXX

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Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
beans

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Reply with quote  #81 
Yesterday d’s Health teacher, the “ED guru,”,asked d if she wanted to watch a film on food labels. D answered, “no thanks, I am trying to avoid doing that”. Hehe 😜 1 point for d, 0 for ED guru!

I did send her the link to Eva’s resources for schools. So far I have heard nothing back and don’t expect to.

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Beans ❤️🙏🏻
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Reply with quote  #82 
Quote:
Originally Posted by beans
Yesterday d’s Health teacher, the “ED guru,”,asked d if she wanted to watch a film on food labels. D answered, “no thanks, I am trying to avoid doing that”. Hehe 😜 1 point for d, 0 for ED guru! I did send her the link to Eva’s resources for schools. So far I have heard nothing back and don’t expect to.


Yay for your girl! Our experience with the school nurse was a little bit like this. Because our D is so smart and such a good actress,  because ED was so strong, because I so desperately wanted to believe her that she was eating at school (why in the world did I believe that??? when even with support at home every bite was a battle???), because I was so clueless about EDs prior to her diagnosis and was in such a fog...for MONTHS....we were slow on the uptake. When we started to realize that she was ditching all food at school, the MD at our ED specialty clinic suggested she go to the school office to eat under supervision of the nurse. I talked to school administration, who agreed that was the only kind of support that the school could provide--either that or have us come in to eat with her each day, and that wasn't feasible due to work responsibilities. 

I had a bad feeling from the beginning about it. The nurse was such a nice lady....but I just had the sense that she didn't understand or even disagreed with what I was asking her to do. I told her that I needed her to actually supervise...and to watch for food being put in the garbage cans, in pockets, stuffed in cheeks to be spit out later. She was dismayed by this, told me that that would be 'treating her like a drug addict,' and not right/not respectful, because 'she is a good kid.' Her approach was to 'give her a friendly place to eat.' I tried to educate her and hoped for the best. I had our FBT therapist call her to discuss. Every day I sent an email listing everything that our D had in her lunch and snacks and to please let me know if she didn't see her eating each of these items. I never got a single message that she wasn't eating any of the food. 

We kept working hard on WR at home, and D was S-L-O-W-L-Y gaining. I couldn't believe how many calories it seemed to be taking! Incredible numbers! As she gained, she very slowly improved mentally as well. And then one day, she started giving me 'clues' about what was going on in the nurse's office. The therapist described this as her 'outing' the disorder. She couldn't quite challenge ED so much as to tell us outright, but she left a breadcrumb trail so that we'd know. It turns out that she NEVER ate the food we sent to school. The nurse actually had a garbage can right in the little cot room where she placed D to eat. The nurse sat at a desk in the anteroom and couldn't even see her clearly most of the time. D threw food in the garbage, packed food back into her backpack and pockets to throw away later, hid food under furniture, etc.

When I contacted the nurse about this, she was extremely defensive, and then began to challenge me, talking about how much knowledge she has about EDs from her nursing education. I was equal parts amazed at my own naiveté in accepting that the nurse was supervising and D was eating, sad that our schools could provide no better 'support' than this for one of their best students (while there are so many accommodations made every day all around me for a variety of other conditions), and angry that if the nurse wasn't willing/able to do what I had asked and acknowledge that she had no idea if D was eating the items on the emails lists I sent, that she wouldn't have at least informed me so that we could make other plans. 

The school administration was unfortunately zero help/support. It was an eye opening experience, to say the least. 

I am sending Eva's link to our schools today. I needed to wait a few days to make sure that I could approach it with a positive and helpful and HOPEFUL tone, not with anger. [wink] 

ED guru's are the worst. 

Regarding 'healthy' foods....yes. We are now thankfully in the latter part of phase II/transitioning to phase III and starting to work on a relapse prevention plan. When D herself was asked to list her 'warning signs' to watch for, the first thing she wrote down, without a moment's hesitation, was 'researching healthy meals.' You can bet that I will remember this!



EDAction

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Reply with quote  #83 
My DD, 17, is in a good place and has been for a while.  Recently Dr. said it was time to try reducing and then stopping her fluoxetine prescription.  That was a big moment for my DD and, in a smaller way, for me too.  It may be that it doesn't go well and she needs to resume the medication, but it may go well.
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DD diagnosed with anorexia at 14; FBT at home with the help of psychologist and medical dr; 3+ years later and doing well (knock on wood)
teecee

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Reply with quote  #84 
It happened!!! After having a shared revision session with an old friend she hasn’t socialised with for years we drove him home and on the way back she unexpectedly announced “I’m hungry” (15 mins before scheduled tea time) 😁 I was so happy today!!!
tammy

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Reply with quote  #85 
Fantastic news Teecee. I am desperate to hear those words “I am hungry”! Fantastic news Tina72 about your daughter and the sweets. It makes me happy to hear all the fantastic baby steps we are taking.
We went out for dinner tonight and my son said he didn’t want a starter. When the sharing platter came he tucked into pakora, onion rings, chicken wings, spring rolls and nachos. Then he has an adult portion of pasta on a big plate and even had some chips/ fries!
Never thought I would see the day! X
doris

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Reply with quote  #86 
Yesterday my D had bacon for breakfast as part of our "tackling fear foods" plan. She ate the bacon with little fuss but the gold star moment for me was helping herself to a glass of milk to go with her breakfast without me prompting or reminding her. She drinks milk every day (we are dairy farmers so there is plenty here!) but to do it without being prompted was incredible. About 8 months ago we had the mother of all ED explosions over a glass of milk. It was thrown across the kitchen and she tried to run out of the house, as I blocked the door she was so distressed she was screaming in my face that she would rather die than drink the milk. Eventually she drank some of the milk that afternoon which at the time was a gold star moment surrounded by unicorns and rainbows!! Unfortunately she got worse before she slowly started getting better and better. I chatted to her yesterday about the milk incident and she doesn't remember it at all, nothing about it whatsoever and yet I will never forget the look in her eyes yelling those words at me. Keep persevering, keep feeding it does get better.

doris x

PS second period this week too!
needhelp

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Reply with quote  #87 
My D was shopping  for food, and there was a mother and daughter (about 11-12 years old) shopping in front of her.  The Mom asked her daughter about some cookies, and her daughter said - "how about these - they're thins - and they have less sugar and half the fat" Mom chimed in with "and less calories!"  My D said she was appalled at the mother and just wanted to shout "Yeah - but you're going to eat twice as many because they won't fill you up with all that diet stuff in them!" Good to know those nutritionist sessions are not a waste of time [biggrin]
tammy

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Reply with quote  #88 
Fantastic news for you edhater. X
teecee

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Reply with quote  #89 
Well I managed the first clothes shopping trip and survived!

As promised I took my D for new Levi’s to replace the ones she loved before...just in a more ‘comfortable’ size.
She even bought replacement underwear and at the end of the trip told me she’d had the best day 😊

That was yesterday....today she bought a swimsuit for our upcoming holiday.

She came up to me the other day, sat next to me, put her head on my shoulder and was just generally lovely.

I’m getting a bit greedy at the moment with gold star moments but I need to savour them whilst they’re here as I haven’t seen them in a long time 😁💕
sk8r31

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Reply with quote  #90 
Just wonderful...savor those sweet moments!  You have earned them....

All the best to you,
sk8r31

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It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #91 
teecee, 
What a great couple of days!!

XXX

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Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
helster

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Reply with quote  #92 
Just need to record the good stuff:
1) bought a pair of non-baggy trousers and said "I really like these"
2) Ate her lunch without any support at school
3) Prepared and ate a lunch at home without any support or me being in the house
4) Agreed to go on a school trip and went even though it is something she dislikes doing
5) Best of all - made a joke. I can't believe she actually cracked a joke [biggrin].

Nine months after diagnosis, 6 months "WR". Mood still appalling but there are signs of improvement. Hang in there, it does get better.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #93 
Helster, that is great!!! Keep on swimming!

Here is my gold star moment of the week:

Yesterday we went with my d to her final school prom.
She was honored for the best exam of the school (although she has missed 4 months last year because of IP).
She was able to eat a 3 course menu with about 400 people around. With no problems.
She had fun with her friends. She is looking forward to study at a nearby University in October. She is having a life again.

What only you all understand: I think we were the only parents in this hall that were more proud of her eating that dinner than about her fantastic grades...

So this is going out to all those in the dark days: don´t give up! Never!

Tina72

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tammy

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Reply with quote  #94 
Brilliant news Tina72. What an achievement. You must be so proud. Great collection of gold stars Helster. What a great feeling to see signs of improvement.
We got both our kids report cards today and after a very difficult year for my 9yr old son with ED and my non ED 11 year old D they both got glowing reports. There is no sign of what they have been through at all in their reports.

Tammy
Torie

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Reply with quote  #95 
So ... D had eaten dinner at a friend's house, and DH and I were late with our own dinner.  DH said we could pick something up, or just skip dinner.

D said, "What?  You can't skip dinner!  That would be setting a bad example for me."

A thump on the head for DH, but a gold star for D. xx

-Torie

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kazi67

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Reply with quote  #96 
After a failed trip away where my d lost all her weight, she came home and was admitted into IP for 8 weeks, then transitioned to 8 week day program, it’s been hell to say the least

BUT
Today my d said “Mum I feel happy and free today” :)

She is now cooking a few nights a week and plating up supervised, she is eating out with friends, socialising, happy and pretty much back to herself
Next step is life after day program but we are confident with our support she is going to get back into the “real world”

I haven’t been able to post these last 3 months as I actually thought my d had lost her mind at one stage and I thought we would never get her back
I found these gold stars moments impossible to read or respond to as I felt so totally sure we had lost the battle with this vile illness
My d is now glowing and smiling and I am so grateful to all you brave parents/carers who share on this site you have kept my sanity
For those still struggling know it DOES get better it really does even if you think it won’t
Keep feeding: food is medicine 3 meals and 3 snacks!!
It has been so incredibly hard to watch her go through the hell again in IP
Transitioning back home is not without its challenges also
Anyways we did it!!

She feels happy and free! Music to my ears

But I know I will not take my finger off the pulse!!
Don’t trust anyone, if you don’t see the food go in yourself with your own eyes it hasn’t

Stay strong everyone it’s definately worth it

Doesn’t mean I’m still not totally frustrated with the lack of expertise or support out there
Thankyou everyone for all the support on this amazing site though you really all are incredible
Sorry I couldn’t post or offer support to anyone lately
I hope this gives any one in the thick of it some hope
I’ve been thinking of you all xxx
Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #97 
Dear Torie and Kazie67

those are wonderful gold star moments, thanks for sharing.

Kazi67, I'm glad your d is doing so much better. You have been very strong throughout this.

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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her. Now working on intuitive eating.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #98 
Kazi67, you are my warrior of the day!!! You got it! [thumb] I am so happy for you and your family.

Torie, I am really horrified how you could have been such a "bad example" for your D?! [biggrin] So great...nobody than us can laugh about such moments...

Tina72

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kazi67

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Reply with quote  #99 
Torie
That’s awesome!
Mamaroo
Thankyou but my d was the braver one!
Tina thank you
Glad I can now read these gold star moments and not cry because it was SO hard to read or post when my d was not doing well

To anyone else who feels like this know it DOES get better it really does
It has taken near on exactly 1 year for my d but life is SO much better now
It wasn’t easy that’s for sure but definately worth all the sacrifices we made
Hang in there and keep feeding!
3 meals and 3 snacks and love and patience
xxxx
scaredmom

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Reply with quote  #100 
kazi67, 
I am so glad that your D is doing so well!! And I am so glad that these moments don't make you cry anymore. I really feel the value in these gold star moments is to help others see that it can get better, but I can empathize that when there is stress in our lives, these moments can seem unattainable. 
But you are a testament to the fact that things do get better with perseverance![smile]

My Gold stars....
Went to Europe last week and D ate well! She ate desserts! She told me she "hates cardio" She used to STAND ALL THE TIME and wanted to be the fastest runner in school!! She had naps while away- this is so different than last year at this time where she had to wake up and go to sleep at the same time everyday even holidays and would not rest. She reminded me that I forgot her evening snack!! She chose high calories snacks and chocolates! She ate a few candies outside of meal times!!

Please keep posting your wonderful moments, there are none that are too small. An extra bite is a big gold star moment- you get what I mean. [biggrin]
XXX


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Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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