F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Hi all,

Just need to get this off my chest, feeling despondent!

am struggling to get quality  food into my d, she is just soooooo fussy! This evening was disastrous, didn't even want to eat the chicken (which was previously ok) only had a small jacket potatoe and couple of carrots.

I know its not the end of the world and we were due to hit a bumpy patch, but she was doing so well and now the fussiness is worse.

I don't think its a calorie thing as she's happy eating pizza and other higher calorie stuff, its an actual dislike for "good food"

I took her to London for few days last week and the picking at food, hiding it under napkins started to rear its head again. was only happy in Starbucks with their sandwiches (ate half) and the caramel coffees!!

We have family session with CAMHS on Thursday so hopefully I can get some guidance. Feeling pretty crappy tbh [eek]

I can see why you are so distressed. Having looked through your posts your D has ARFID that has morphed into AN?  I can see from the posts that she has not been eating well since discharge from hospital. If things are getting worse it could be that she is losing weight and her AN is getting stronger.

I would always be worried about enough food before the type of food. Yes it is a problem if we just eat pizza all day every day but over all not having enough food is going to cause problems sooner. Hoping you can get her fed and that she doesn't need to go back to hospital.
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Throw all the yucky stuff here. That is what we are here for- we can take it! 
It does take time. I find it interesting that when you went to London for a few days she was picking and hiding the food. I wonder if that was how she was showing you that she was anxious about change in routine? Have you done that before or was that a new thing? My D, when anxious with a new thing; new place, new foods, new restaurants, new friends etc. she manifested that in her ED behaviours. So I knew it was just hard on her. I would acknowledge that it was hard and I would keep her safe. "it is Ok I will help you" and similar phrases helps my D. 
I am so glad she eats pizza, that can be hard for ED. 
Yes the road to recovery, is not straight. It is bumpy, steep, curvy and long.
It will come, you are doing it, you are aware and you got this. 
Vent, or even EXPLODE here, it is a safe place.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
It's not nice when a bump in the road appears, hey? But it is only a bump, not the end of recovery and you will be able to get back on track very quickly. My d would eat a certain food without a problem and then suddenly overnight find it revolting, strange hey? Can you try and give her a pizza with chicken on it? It could be that the chicken became a fear food again and by gradually reintroducing chicken she might get back into eating it again. The change in routine could also have been a trigger, but it will get better.

D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
This evening was disastrous, didn't even want to eat the chicken (which was previously ok) only had a small jacket potatoe and couple of carrots...

I wonder what would happen if you said, "If you are not eating chicken right now, we will need to add another, larger potato.  

I don't think its a calorie thing as she's happy eating pizza and other higher calorie stuff, its an actual dislike for "good food

If it's not "a calorie thing," hopefully she will be willing to make up in volume what she lacks in variety for example replacing chicken with something instead of just removing the chicken.

Best of luck and please keep us posted. xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Thanks for all the support, today was much better 🤞
She does tend to have chicken on her pizza, she said she doesn’t like having chicken with me as I get frustrated when she picks at it (she doesn’t like the ‘tumours’ in it!!) and ends up with half of it being left on her plate.
She was weighted today and has gone from 46.6 to 46.85 which I was amazed at!! (Although that’s two weeks gain)
Not sure if London was just too much, the only time she did eat full meal was with family at their house, so it might have been.
Not sure about the ARIFD thing as no one here has mentioned it yet, but does seem likely from what I have seen on it.
Didn’t expect this to be easy but these changes just come like a bolt out of the blue and catch me by surprise!
2 of my 3 are pretty fussy about the texture of meat. I find marinading it to make it more tender or serving it pulled or shredded helps. Also cutting out any gristle or large pieces if fat helps too. When buying minced meat I go for the option highest in fat and stewing meat I always buy with lots of nice thin marbling of fat. This helps increase the nutritional quality of the meat.

Hang in there.,

2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.