F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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mumofone

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Reply with quote  #1 
My D has been doing so so well, still some behaviours very evident at times but she's happy and stable.

Before being diagnosed with RAN she was very fussy eater, not fan of veg and mainly liked chicken and small range of foods. When hospitalised she ate a wider range of foods (cos she had too!) and declared ......"I like peppers, vegetables etc" now I am giving her dinners she doesn't like the new things "the hospital ones had no flavour" (backhanded compliment to me!)
Now we are back to meals containing either chicken, sausages, turkey or mince. This week the spaghetti bolagnese had bacon in "don't like bacon unless its crispy" and the sausage casserole yesterday had courgette and peppers "too mushy". So far this week no full meal has been eaten.....finding it hard to find meals which will challenge her with new things (told to do by CAMHS) and giving meals she will eat!!
Has anyone any tips??

Her anxiety has come out again too, she has volunteered at local animal shelter and is sick each time she goes, once there is fine and enjoys it but poor thing has no idea why she gets so worked up! will have to raise with her CAMHS lady.

Finding it a little hard this week as thought I could see the light but appear to have made steps backwards. 

So glad this forum is here for getting things off your chest!

Thanks for listening x








Torie

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hi Mumofone - If you serve your d a meal she has historically eaten, does she finish it now?  That is the most important thing, I think - making sure she eats enough.   Personally, I wouldn't worry about adding more veggies right now.

If you give her a few strips of crispy bacon, will she eat them?  That is the type of thing I would focus on at the moment.

Sorry, I don't understand the situation well, so I'm not sure I'm able to offer helpful advice.

Keep swimming. xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
melstevUK

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Reply with quote  #3 
Hi mumofone,

I have tried to find your past posts or threads but not found much. How old is your d? She sounds very much like my own d who was always a poor and picky eater in childhood and who eventually became anorexic and needed to be hospitalised.

You can help your d with anxiety by breaking down the activity causing her anxiety into tiny steps. She clearly wants to go to the animal place but what causes the fear,? Walking into the place and not knowing what people will be there? Not knowing what is expected of her? She is clearly ok when she gets there but for some many of us anxiety can be broken down into its constituent parts and then plans can be made.

In terms of eating, keeping d s weight up and moving needs to be a priority at this stage. She also needs to learn to eat out with friends. You can focus on including more variety when further through the illness but weight gain and trying to keep ordinary life going need to be your focus right now. Both areas need priority.

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Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #4 
Hi Mumofone

Unfortunately progress is not always linear, it's 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

I agree with the others regarding vegetables, they are no important. My d is suppose to eat fruit or veg at school, I'm sure I'm the only mum sending dried fruit [wink].

It seemed your d slipped back into her old habits of eating a limited range. If she is at a healthy weight (meaning she is growing) I would continue presenting her with the new food. When my children tell me they don't like the food I give them, I tell them too bad, they don't need to like it, they need to eat it. They only food, which needs to taste good it dessert. 

You can give her new food by adding onto meals she will eat. Give her the chicken, but add bacon as well, for example. Continual expose of new foods will makie her use to the taste.

Can you use LSUYE for the unfinished meals? That is she has to sit at the table until everything is eaten (like in our grandparents' days). Any other incentives, such as phone use/ TV/ friends visits?

Here is a video on AFRID, which might interests you:





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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her. Now working on intuitive eating.
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #5 
Sorry things seem to have got worse. That is pretty common on discharge from hospital. 

Is her diagnosis ARFID leading to RAN? 

I am also not sure where your D is up to as regards weight range and physical health. If she was very fussy and anxious  pre AN then some of that may well persist afterwards as well. It makes sense to initially prioritise weight gain and normalisation of things to what was happening before AN but then expanding things a bit more as time goes on. If she has eaten it once at home then she can eat it  again. Saying she doesn't like the taste is also not a reason for her not to eat it on this occasion but you can remember when and how to challenge her on those things down the track. 

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
mumofone

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Reply with quote  #6 
thanks for all your messages, weigh in today and have stayed same as two weeks ago, at least its not down.
Have never heard of ARFID, but having looked it up am seeing a lot of similarities!
she was admitted at 36kg and is now 46.6kg, bmi gone from 14 to 18, she's around 5ft 2.. we were very lucky they jumped on it very quickly before it got out of hand.

We have been encouraged by CAMHS with the new food thing, but from what you guys say its definitely about actually eating and focusing on that rather than trying to stress her out. She did admit new things scare her.

have been expecting a few steps back, so just got to take the positives and move this thing forward!

I just feel she has a long way to go mentally, she doesn't really talk to us but does to CAMHS so thats good.

She has not eaten bacon since being home, doesn't really want bacon sandwiches at the weekend.
She is definitely a girl who eats something to death and then goes off it!
Torie

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Reply with quote  #7 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mumofone
She has not eaten bacon since being home, doesn't really want bacon sandwiches at the weekend.


What she wants isn't really relevant.  I think you said she rejected the bacon bits in an entree by claiming that she only likes crispy bacon.  One good response would be, "No problem!  I'll cook up some crispy bacon right away an you can have a few slices."  Another good response would be, "I'm so sorry.  We can't always have food cooked just the way we like - I will try to remember to cook the bacon longer next time, but for now you will need to eat these little bits."

It's so, so hard, but you need to find a way to wrest control back from ED.   If you go by what she wants (and doesn't want), most likely that will lead to another trip down the rabbit hole.  She needs to get back to eating all the things she has historically eaten (before ED), no matter how she (i.e., ED) feels about that.

Keep swimming. xx

-Torie

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"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
melstevUK

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi mumofone,

My own d was exactly the same - wanted one food all the time and then went off it. I never seemed to be able to build up a repertoire or great variety of foods to serve. Looking back she must have had tantrums or tears and I just gave in so that she would eat something. The difficulty for me was that she always are well at the childminder s but would not eat for me which led to huge frustrations. The lack of nutrition and also deliberate weight loss led on to an but as a recovered adult she now enjoys eating and trying new things. .

Others are giving great advice How old is she now and is there just the two of you at home?


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Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
Mamaroo

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Reply with quote  #9 
Hi

I was a fussy/picky eater when I was a child, would only eat plain, smooth (mostly beige) food. I didn't get enough nutrition in and x-rays at 16 years showed bone density loss. Since then I was motivated to eat a more varied diet and today there is nothing I cannot eat. Some things I still dislike, but can still eat it. I would suggest when your d is at a good weight to start expanding her diet. It will help with social occasions and it is the best way to get all in the nutrients in. In the meantime, can you give her a multi vitamin, calcium and omega 3 oil supplements? I wish I took some calcium supplements as I am shrinking now :-(

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D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her. Now working on intuitive eating.
debra18

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Reply with quote  #10 
I started giving my daughter zinc supplements as recommended by many people. A few days later she said " what is in this smoothie? It tastes so good". It was the same one she always drank. I think the zinc really helped. She is just so stubborn. I said "oh you like it?" And she said " never mind. Not really."
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