F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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trusttheprocessUSA
Last night my RAN son (14.5yrs) went to Hooters (sorry) to watch football with his dad, brother and good friend. He had a bacon cheeseburger and a side of fries. He has been on the Kartini meal plan since 3/11. At the FEAST conference I had a meaningful discussion with other mothers regarding the Kartini meal plan and ending up with a rigid eater. So this holiday season he and I have discussed venturing off of the meal plan a bit.  He has had some sweets, ice cream cake and a large order of fries. No anxiety, no stress, no exercise compulsion, so restricting no nothing except to say he really loved it. I'm not sure he ate enough food but we will see on the scale this week.

There has been some discussion between the terms "normal eating" (which he has been doing 3 home cooked meals and 2 snacks daily) and "normalized eating" (being flexible with food choices, being able to eat out and being able to share a meal with friends and family at their house.) which he is learning to do

Thank you to the parents on FEAST for planting the seeds to try and stretch my son a bit more. One gentle step at a time.
Son diagnosed @ 12.5 yrs old with Severe RAN 2/11. Co-morbids - anxiety, Active restriction for 3 months. He stopped eating completely 2x. He needed immediate, aggressive treatment from a provider who specialized in eating disorders, adolescents and males. We got that at Kartini Clinic. WR since 5/11. 2017 getting ready to graduate slipping lost 8lbs. Fighting our way back.
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perdido
TTP,
Woo hoo Hooters! They do make a great burger, lol.
So happy for you and your son.
Slow and steady
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JangledUSA
Yep...  much more distracting for a 15 yo male than playing "Would you rather? at the dinner table.  

Congrats, that's huge!
A dad.
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Disneymom
Congrats, that's amazing!  Crazy, how something like fries can make you so excited.
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GiveMeStrength_US
That is such great news!!!  My D just wrote a college essay about mastering fear and talking about how she ate fries in treatment.  Funny how that is such a major fear food.
Mom to D 21 in November, behaviors started at 15, hospitalized at 16, IP at 17, FBT at almost 18. Finished second year in college; now abroad in treatment program to deal with co-morbids.
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Colleen
Jangled, you make me laugh!

Hooters--definitely a distraction technique not previously mentioned on the forum. 

YAY for normalized everything!!!
Colleen in the great Pacific Northwest, USA

"What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease."
Alexander Pope, 1688-1744
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Bontoplen_USA
I had to laugh,french fries is my D go to food,in fact that is sometimes dinner for her!!!I can't count how many times I told her no fries today, and when we go out to eat that is what she has,nothing else,just fries.Congrats!!!
Bontoplen
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sinkorswim_usa
Wahoo! Here's to normalized eating!


(Bentoplen - it's my daughter's #1 safe food too)
Sink or Swim
Pacific Northwest USA
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Anorexic Mom and 5 year old Anorexic daughter
Fighting ED together!
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trusttheprocessUSA
You all made me laugh - laugh hard, thank you  Some how ED has hijacked my sense of humor and I didn't even see how funny it was to have my son at Hooters challenging a fear food. Wow, thanks for helping me recover too.
Son diagnosed @ 12.5 yrs old with Severe RAN 2/11. Co-morbids - anxiety, Active restriction for 3 months. He stopped eating completely 2x. He needed immediate, aggressive treatment from a provider who specialized in eating disorders, adolescents and males. We got that at Kartini Clinic. WR since 5/11. 2017 getting ready to graduate slipping lost 8lbs. Fighting our way back.
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gobsmacked_US
That's awesome. And the hooter's part made me giggle. That's one of those stories you'll pass down!!!
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edbites
Almost makes me want to go to my local Hooters... Don't think I would have a hard time convincing the boyfriend, LOL.

Our family has a rather legendary Hooters story as well- we'll have to swap stories at some point.
Carrie Arnold Blogger and author at http://www.edbites.com
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ihavehopeUS
TTP - Great news!!!  And good for you for challenging the meal plan.  Not that it was bad but I love seeing all our kids be flexible eaters.  And as for Hooters - well, I think you have hit on the newest distraction technique for teen boys with EDs.  I see many following in your footsteps!  I'm sure all kinds of fear foods could be challenged there!!
MJ in the Great Pacific NW
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Ladybugs_Journey_CAN
I'm trying to come up with an equivalent distraction for D. Congrats to your family!
- three teens and hubby all with special needs; blended family - D18 is Ladybug; fed at home for three months, then inpatient far away for three months. We lost nine family members in that same year including her step-mom,both grandfathers,four uncles - She now insists on living on own - family falling apart.
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movingon
The Hooters story made me chuckle, there is a very similar one in our family! My family lives relatively near to the (I think) only Hooters in the UK, this summer, my little sister was given a day pass from treatment but was refusing to go anywhere to eat, we bought her girlfriend with us to the unit and she was able to convince my sister to come to Hooters to eat. My little sis, has been refusing junk food for years now, Hooters was a great distraction though and the first tentative bites were eaten. I take her girlfriends words for this as family members were not allowed to come in in case we crashed their style! 
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Ladybugs_Journey_CAN
I shared this story with D. She agrees that distractions help. I may have to rent Magic Mike for her.
- three teens and hubby all with special needs; blended family - D18 is Ladybug; fed at home for three months, then inpatient far away for three months. We lost nine family members in that same year including her step-mom,both grandfathers,four uncles - She now insists on living on own - family falling apart.
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