. on one of his very first visits he spoke to the therapist alone. the next time we went in, she told us what he had said in front of him. He was very angry, He said it was a breach of dr patient confidentiality and he would not speak to her again. also, since starting there he hadn't gained any weight. we felt it wasn't a good fit. It is so hard. I think I was starting to give up, but Im starting to come back. Im kind of nervous, my husband leaves on business tomorrow and he will be gone for 3 days. I have to fight this battle alone for 3 days and thats kind of scary. No back up!! I hope I can get him to eat.
Hi Heyjac, I have been lurking on here for a couple of months, almost posted a few times, but didn't. Your post inspired me to say something because our daughter (18)was diagnosed at CHOP back in June (we live just north of Philly) and is being treated by them. I'm so sorry they did not work out for you - if it's any consolation our daughter absolutely detests the Dr in charge and has not been very happy with family based therapy, either. The ED has very obviously told her not to trust most of the adults in her life, so, really none of this reaction by her was a surprise to myself and my husband. We had a lot of conversation with them at the beginning and realized that here was a group of Drs who we felt had a great deal of knowledge about this horrible monster of an illness, we read the Locke and LeGrange book on helping your teen with an ED and we knew they were going to ask us to do some really hard stuff, and they did! Recovery is so, so, hard, some days I have just wanted to give up and run out of the house screaming. Eating is always a huge problem on the days we have to trek into the city to see the Drs and most drs visits and FBT end with our daughter in tears. They asked us to up the calories at one point, to very similar to what your son was asked to do, and she had a purple fit about it and said it was impossible, the dietician gave me a handout that advised how to increase calories without increasing bulk and I told her I would build it up gradually - the next day she was up to the new level of calories and has been ever since - though some days it is a HUGE struggle to eat it and it did make her nauseated and she did threaten that she would throw up, but didn't (and the drs offered to prescribe meds to help with that, but, actually she did fine on 1/8 tsp ginger in hot water - ginger is a natural anti-emetic) After a while of rotating through some of the many drs they have, she DID bump into one that really connected with her and that made all the difference, but, even so, there has been endless second guessing and complaining that she wants to be allowed to do it 'her way' which mostly means gain weight only slowly whilst seeing a local therapist, just to talk. - No - we are not doing that, that is the reason so many adults are in recovery for years and years, I suspect. How do we get her to eat? from the start I have always said that everything stops until eating is done, half an hour for trying to eat, with distraction (mostly tv and you-tube videos, no talk about eating or the whys and wherefores of what we are doing, there is no rationality coming from that girl at mealtimes!) and then, whatever is left gets converted into carnation breakfast shake.
Our result? On the brink of weight restoration (as far as Drs very educated guess is concerned) and now our daughter has been additionally diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, put on Zoloft and we are just working on getting her hooked up with some CBT. She still hates food and struggles, but, since the Zoloft, things have become emotionally easier for all of us.
Sorry, I just ran on and on about our own stuff, I don't have any other advice, only what we have been through so far, such a nightmare! I don't feel like I am any kind of expert on this, at all, I just hope you can gain a sense of 'being in the same boat' as me, just a little! Hang in there and just try whatever you think might help, until you do hit upon something that works for you and your son and lean on whoever you have in life who can help you at all in any way!