F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Pingu
So the unit want my d to have her first home meal on Tuesday followed a week later bybher first overnight stay. My d is absolutely terrified. An assistant OT at the unit says to give her a hard meal but I don’t agree with freaking her out when she’s alteady anxious
What do you guys think?

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Oct18
Hi Pingu,

I have had to do a meal at home when my D came home on leave from IP unit. I cooked what she asked for (which was a sensible suggestion and met the nutritional value necessary). I don’t see what is to be gained by deliberately giving something too challenging, what was their reasoning for it?

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mjkz
I would keep things exactly the same way things are on the unit and serve her a meal she would have loved pre ED.  You need to see how she handles it and I would be keep the rules the same as she has for meals in the hospital. Use this as an example of how things are going to go when she gets out.  Start now what you want to use going forward.  Get those expectations, boundaries, and consequences started now when you can take her back to the ward if she refuses to eat so she knows what she is facing coming home.
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Pingu
The OT is a bit of a force of nature . I’m thinking of stir fry with noodles and I will soak her tofu for a few hours I’m a sauce to give flavour
I don’t want to deliberately set her up to fail
Even her step dad agrees that would be too much too soon just right now
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teecee
What you suggest seems like a good option. I would go with that. When she’s regularly eating at home you can up the challenge.
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Pingu
She’s been a vegetarian for a few years now so is committed to it
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Enn

Hi Pingu,


mjkz wrote:
I would keep things exactly the same way things are on the unit and serve her a meal she would have loved pre ED.  You need to see how she handles it and I would be keep the rules the same as she has for meals in the hospital. Use this as an example of how things are going to go when she gets out.  Start now what you want to use going forward.  Get those expectations, boundaries, and consequences started now when you can take her back to the ward if she refuses to eat so she knows what she is facing coming home.


I agree with mjkz.
The reason for the family meal is to stress D a bit and see how you are going to handle it at home. They should be analysing the event to give you tools on what to do at home in the future.

XXX


When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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yellowcaty
Hi Pingu

Have you done a supported meal at the unit already? We could do sessions with the OT where we all ate a meal they cooked or we could cook one there with the help of the OT to ensure that we were covering the right things. When my D comes home we have a strict meal plan to follow which reflects what they eat at the unit. It gives us suggested meals. We always try to make something that she would eat at the unit, but they do have a very varied diet so it is quite easy. I know that the first weekend I must have walked around the supermarket for an hour trying to work out what to cook. I think you should try to make it an ‘easy’ meal to eat as there are enough stresses for everyone the first time they come home.
Feel free to email if you need any more support.
Yellowcaty x
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30BT
You definitely need to include dessert in your home meal too and a drink that contains calories ( ie juice, milk). Don’t let the ED think that it will be easier at home
Mum to 17yr old girl with AN. Fighting hard for recovery since she was 13.
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ValentinaGermania
Ronson wrote:

I would do a meal that you intend to keep as a regular meal when she is home - so high enough in calories for this. I wouldn’t make it too challenging but also not something ed would be too happy with. Can you do a pudding ?

R


That is exactly what I wanted to reply, Ronson. I would do it the same. And have a drink that is NO water or other low calorie item. What about juice? You could say it is for "vitamins" [wink].

Tina72


Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Pingu
Hi all
The unit don’t do deserts they seem to have sweet stuff as snack and as a family we wouldn’t normally have a desert so I won’t freak her totally out
Am gonna go with what I planned and see how that goes. I can use a really rich sauce and loads of noodles so that will be what she would have eaten before you know who came to stay
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ValentinaGermania
Go with your gut, Pingu. That is in most cases the best advice.

We did not have deserts besides Sundays in our family, too, before ED moved in but I changed that when my d came home from IP because I would never ever make her eat enough without those deserts (puddings and creams are great to sneak calories in). So you might need to rethink that and introduce some deserts to the whole family because you might need that later. But I understand why you don´t want to make her freak out at first family meal.

What about a caloric drink to the noodles?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Pingu
It was on the meal plan with camhs but at Riverdale they do yoghurt at lunch and desert or sweet thing at snack . I’ve had 2 unit meals and they are huge portions that even I struggled to eat all of but she’s doing it so that’s good.
We’re looking to change her antidepressant Cos fluoxetine isn’t working am hoping to get more therapeutic results with something else . She’s been on it months and it’s not helping but I take sertraline and that is amazing so want to try that with her
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teecee
I’m surprised about the pudding thing too. Before ED we never ate puddings but they became a thing during refeeding certainly after every evening meal.
I’m pleased to hear your thoughts on Sertraline as I’ve just been prescribed that and hoping it helps me.
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Pingu
Hi teece

As I’ve mentioned before I also am bu polar but sertraline has been a life saver for me fantastic drug and I haven’t had one side effect . Really hope you find the same xx
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