F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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rainydays
Earlier this month my daughter's therapist had me come in to discuss her recent weight loss.  We would need to restart medical monitoring.  The therapist and daughter had recently started CBT-E and were trying to empower D to regain the weight herself.  D is very controlling.  

After a terrible stomach virus this weekend, which took down three kids at home, we're down a couple more pounds.  The therapist agrees to let me take charge of meals again, we'll have to let D know this in therapy tomorrow.  The ED physician's assistant put her ideal weight at now 15 pounds more than where she is now.  Our last ideal weight was when she was two inches shorter and younger.

A blood panel shows low vit d, low hematocrit, and low ferritin.  

We've had hit and miss with dietitians in the past.  We have and appt. friday at Children's Hospital.  D is refusing to go there. 

My non-ed son is still laid out on the couch barely able to eat.  D went to school today.  Probably a mistake with so few calories over the past 3 days.

Should I keep her home from school?  How hard should I come down on this?  Rest until you can eat normal food again?  

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EDAction
Hi rainydays,

Ugh!  I am sorry about all the stomach virus!

And I am sorry that your D has lost weight.  I am unclear about how much she needs to regain.  Is it 15 pounds?

I think if your D has lost weight such that she is below WR you need to step in to provide support and structure and to make sure she restores the lost weight sooner than later.  You don't have to wait for the professionals.
DD diagnosed with anorexia at 14; FBT at home with the help of psychologist and medical dr; 3+ years later and doing well (knock on wood)
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rainydays
EdAction,

It is 15 she needs to gain.  Yes, I feel the need to step up and the therapist is supportive of that.

Thank you for the support.


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sahmmy
How old is your d?

I believe it was Carrie Arnold's book "Decoding Anorexia" where I read this analogy. There are 3 theories to weight gain. Your d is over her head, drowning in cold water.
Option 1. Let her continue drowning until she figures out for herself how to swim.
Option 2. Send a swim instructor (therapist) out in the water with her, and hope the swimming lesson while drowning will be enough for her to save herself.
Option 3. Send out a lifeboat, pull her ashore - required, not optional, let her recover from the hypothermia THEN give her lessons (therapy) to learn how not to get herself in a drowning (starving) situation again, and how to eat (swim) successfully.

Option 3 gives the body the best chance of recovery.

Regarding going to school, put the monkey on HER back - Did she eat an adequate breakfast before going to school? If not, she stays home.

If she were my d, I'd also meet her for lunch everyday. She is allowed to go back to school after she finishes eating all of her lunch. How long that will take is up to her. Supervise her snack after school, and she eats dinner with the family, and supervise her bedtime snack. Full and adequate nutrition takes priority over education.

Don't wait for the therapist, dietician, or anyone else to give you permission. You have permission to feed your child. Not feeding your child could be negligent. 

Love* Power*Fullness
d=18, R-AN, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Refed at home with information gathered from this forum and lots of books. Relapsed. Refed. Relapsed. Refed. 17 sessions with an excellent individual therapist. 19 sessions with unhelpful dietician. 3 sessions of DBT (didn't like it). Psychiatrist available if needed. Prozac - fail. Lexapro - fail. 5HTP - fail. Clorazepam/Klonopin = major improvement, only used when necessary. Genomind SLC6A4 short/short - not able to process SSRI's.
d=15, lost 14 lbs in 8 months, Ped [nono]diagnosed as a crystal on a hair in the ear canal
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rainydays
Sahmmy,

She's almost 16.  

I like the analogy of the lifeboat.  I'll focus on providing the lifeboat. Thank you.  I have a lot of books, but not that one.

Not feeding her is negligent.

She's agreed to stay home for a bit from school and focus on getting her weight back up and has been willingly drinking milkshakes and eating meals.


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sahmmy
<<<< She has been willingly drinking milkshakes and eating meals.

Yeah! Then she's earned the privilege of getting out of the house for "short-leash" activities, be back home in time for the next meal/snack. That's a win!
d=18, R-AN, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Refed at home with information gathered from this forum and lots of books. Relapsed. Refed. Relapsed. Refed. 17 sessions with an excellent individual therapist. 19 sessions with unhelpful dietician. 3 sessions of DBT (didn't like it). Psychiatrist available if needed. Prozac - fail. Lexapro - fail. 5HTP - fail. Clorazepam/Klonopin = major improvement, only used when necessary. Genomind SLC6A4 short/short - not able to process SSRI's.
d=15, lost 14 lbs in 8 months, Ped [nono]diagnosed as a crystal on a hair in the ear canal
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