F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

I was wondering if we should perhaps seek the guidance of a FBT therapist that is 1 1/2 hours away, or can we just pretty much do the FBT ourselves?

Thanks so much,

Well it really is up to you. If you go, you can see if you wish to continue going. I don't think there is  any harm if you go, and it  may be very helpful. If you decide it is not working, then you can stop.

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
I am doing it without the help of a therapist. Only medical monitoring. It is possible if you are making progress and don't feel it is too difficult for you. I agree with your previous post that it would be stressful if you have to find the therapist and make it to the appts but most people here probably wouldn't agree with me. Look up previous posts about refeeding alone. There have been people that have done it. My daughter was restricting for a very short period of time before I realized it. She still managed to lose a lot of weight in a short period of time before I got her to start gaining. But now she is doing very well.
No you cannot do FBT yourself. By its very definition FBT is a therapy that involves therapist and clients. I feel it is very important to distinguish between FBT with a FBT therapist and  DIY treatment. FBT is a very specific treatment which is manualised and has a significant amount of evidence behind it. Although many of those features don't require a therapist if you don't have the therapist you are not getting the treatment. 

What you can do is do re-feeding yourself, some parents are very successful at this others not so much. You can also try to help your child resolve any other issues that may be present. Some kids will get better with re-feeding alone. Others require a lot of assistance. You know your own child. You are getting an idea of how ill she is and how quickly she is responding. Ideally I would recommend someone getting professional help, after all AN is a life-threatening illness with a mortality similar to many childhood cancers. I would never suggest treatment of cancer by yourself, though I am sure it has been done. This comes with the caveat that there are bad treatment providers out there, they can be very harmful and need to be avoided. Sometimes doing it yourself is better than a bad provider. We had some bad treatment along the way. I am sure however that without some of the good treatment we had, my daughter would not be here today. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
I wonder if it is worth considering:

You could ask your d if she wants to go with the FBT therapist or if she wants to try at home first instead.  If she chooses the DIY plan, you could have certain requirements to ensure you're on the right track.  For example, I always told my d that if I couldn't provide good enough help so that she could finish each meal, I would need to take her where the experts could give her better help.  (Thank heavens I didn't need to follow through because I fear the "experts" would have been worse than no help at all, but luckily the "threat" was enough.)  So IF she can gain 1 - 1 1/2 pounds per week (0.5 to 1 kg), keep exercise under control, stay with you for at least an hour after each meal, stay out of the kitchen, and eat what you serve (all of it), THEN she doesn't have to go to the FBT therapist.

Might provide good motivation.

OTOH, many really need the professional help.  You know your d best.

Please keep us posted. xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
It may be worth reading this blog which addresses some of the benefits of FBT over and above re-feeding. https://www.eatingdisordertherapyla.com/family-based-treatment-can-help-depression-and-self-esteem-too/
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
We were introduced to our FBT therapist when our daughter was in a residential center four hours from our home.  Our therapist is four hours from our home as well.  I was hesitant at first, but quickly realized that this is working, and very much worth it.  Our therapist allowed us to do Skype sessions after the first month or so, and it was so helpful to not have to travel as much.  We did make the 8 hour round trip every week for the first month though, and occasionally after that.  It was a year and a half ago, and it was clearly the turning point in our daughter's recovery.  Our last session with her was about 9 months ago and our d is thriving.  She told me this weekend that she really doesn't even have ed thoughts anymore.  Of course we are still staying vigilant and watching like hawks, but we are finally feeling like we can exhale a bit!