F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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mamabear Show full post »
hi Becs,
It sounds like things are going well! She is singing!! She is also having sweets and no compulsive exercise!That is amazing progress. I am pleased to hear your update!
As for the movement from you being in control to handing back control, it does take a long time. We are 2+ years in and I still need to support d in her choices and somethings are just what I make/serve.
When she is WR and over time, you will likely be able to see what she can and cannot handle. We did give some choices for snacks, I have yet to have her plate her own meal. However, d can pick a good meal at a restaurant. At times when things are new/different she will look to me to guide her. 

You are still so early and she is not yet WR and when she does get there you will need to be able to keep her there for awhile and then you can see how things are going. I think ensuring that your therapist knows what your plans are explicitly, that can ensure their collaboration with you. Ultimately, you and the team want the same thing, a healthy child that can feed herself, but not immediately at WR but over time. I always think it is a weird thing, that once WR they are supposed to know how to feed themselves and we are supposed to let them?? Makes no sense! It takes practice for them and you to feed themselves. And just like playing an instrument, it takes a long time to get competent. It does not happen the day you learn some notes. Anyway just my opinion. 
You are the expert in your child! 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
The hurry from the FBT therapist's point of view is making room for the next client, I would guess! My position at the moment is I would like to handle when and how to move through Stage 1 and 2, and I'd really like the therapists' input on the psychological issues which lead up to the ED, and persist now (so Stage 3 runs concurrently. I think my D can handle this now as she has been working very well on psychoeducation in IP). So I'll handle the food, she can handle the psych kind of thing! I don't know if this too far removed from the manualized approach for the therapist to work with though. I don't want to replace her as she has a good rapport with my D and we have very few other options.
Are you sure there are psychological issues that led to Illness? Sometimes there are not? I think you are saying that you will continue being in control of what your daughter eats and the therapist should start some type of therapy like cbt without handing back control of food to your daughter.
In most cases there are no psychological issues that lead to ED. It is often just a combinatin of genetics and losing weight because of diet/exercise/other issues.
It is possible that many therapists hurry because they want to have space for the next patient. Interesting idea.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.