F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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mamab
I had written about trying to decide between taking my daughter (age 19) back to Children's Denver or ERC here in the Dallas area.   Turns out  the choice was made for me.
Children's Denver  called with a spot and we bought airline tickets and then last minute my daughter refused to go there.  She suddenly became set on going to ERC and we then had to wait for an inpatient spot to open up there.  Then,  when one finally did and we had a certain check in day,  she began trying to back out of going,  saying that she wants to do it at home.

We went to the check in appointment and it took 4 hours but she finally checked herself in to ERC.    For one day....  At the end of her first day there,  she signed a letter of intent to discharge (they ask for 72 hours notice).  She was ranting about how unprofessional it was and claiming she was traumatized.

ERC has informed me that they are going to pursue a court order of commitment if my daughter doesn't agree to stay.  It will be the first one this particular center has ever tried to obtain so I have no idea how the judge will react.   If they get it,  they can keep her there for up to 90 days.
I hate that it has come to this.  I hope that during her treatment team meeting today,  my daughter realizes that it would be better to just voluntarily receive treatment there.   My daughter is not permitting staff to share any information with her but I know that she was barely above their threshold for accepting patients.  2 % lower and she would only qualify for ACUTE Center in Denver.  I have no clue what her labs show.   

I wish I knew what to expect today.   I have no idea how long it will take a judge to rule.  If they don't commit her and she returns home tomorrow,  I despair at being able to help her.  
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Torie
Mamab - I will keep your d in my thoughts today.  I'm glad ERC is looking for a creative way to help her.  Hang in there.  xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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eternalhope
Mamab, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Hang in there. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Foodsupport_AUS
Sorry that it has come to this, but also it seems great that ERC is trying something to keep her in treatment. It sounds like she really needs to be there from what you are saying. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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pattyk
My daughter was in similar shoes three years ago.  ERC was going to do the commitment and I talked them out of it.  I really regret my decision.  ERC was a really good program, unfortunately my daughter didn't stay long enough.  Hope things work out for your daughter
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mjkz
I'm glad they are doing it because she obviously needs it.  This makes them the heavy and gets you off the hook.  I really hope you let them so she gets the help she needs.  She did make the decision to go there and I think it was a good one.  ED has been challenged!!
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LauraCollins_US
With mental illness it is grueling to watch the very person least able to make decisions about care being the one making decisions. 

There's research on this that may be helpful to you. While it seems like "making" someone enter care would lead to patients being even less cooperative later, it isn't true. And that makes sense, when people are interrupted while attempting suicide they generally report being glad to be alive - that it was temporary distress or an inability to handle that moment.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2808473/
https://jhu.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/perceived-coercion-in-inpatients-with-anorexia-nervosa-associatio

Mental illness makes people temporarily unable to make decisions in their own interest. Recovery leads to being in charge of one's life and best interests. I never think keeping people in care is "forced," but rather not allowing the mental illness to make their decisions for them.

Laura (Collins) Lyster-Mensh
F.E.A.S.T. Executive Director
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mjkz
My daughter has never voluntarily admitted herself for treatment.  It has always been "coerced" in some fashion because she has never been able to see how sick she was.  She has gone because she has no other choice or the consequences of going were worse than not going.  It has not affected her recovery and now on the other side she recognizes it was what was needed at the time.  I don't regret anything I've done in getting her treatment in terms of the pressures put forward to get her there, admitted and get her to stay.
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mamab
The initial hearing was yesterday and the Judge is allowing ERC to hold her but will revisit the issue again in a week.  My d anorexic thinking is so very strong.  I suspect she will be more compliant in treatment but her only motivation for any compliance is to get out.   She is also threatening to transfer to another EDU unit at a hospital in Dallas if she is committed.  They are not FBT and I've not read good things about them.   My daughter is solely focused on getting out of ERC and she has felt this way since she admitted.  She has not given them a chance and is fighting everything (eating, tube feeding, etc.).   I feel like this is a nightmare.     When we pulled her out of university in December,  we tried to get her into treatment then but she refused.  She insisted that she wanted to get better but wanted more ownership over her own treatment.   Against my better judgement (and because she has relapsed before so it made me have doubts),  we agreed.  Seeing a doctor, therapist and dietician was resulting in some progress at first,  but very slowly.  And then it just - BAM - turned around and went south so quickly.    I am going to need to be very strong and willing to accept her hating me for a while.   
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Torie
Yay!!!

ERC: 1
ED: 0

Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help prepare for the judge's "revisit" in a week.

So glad to hear that ERC prevailed!  GO ERC!!!  xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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bryony_1234
That's brilliant.
However, hopefully your d will recognise she's poorly and be more positive about recovery, as that MUST happen for recovery.
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Torie
bryony_1234 wrote:
That's brilliant. However, hopefully your d will recognise she's poorly and be more positive about recovery, as that MUST happen for recovery.


Actually, no.  Some here have successfully dragged their ED-kids into recovery even though the sufferer didn't want to get better.  My own d, for example. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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mjkz

Mine too.  If we waited for her to want recovery, then she would be dead.

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mnmomUSA
Yeah!  I'm glad they are able to keep her.  Each day is a day closer to getting better and well.  


D, age 18, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since.  UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side.  :-)  D at college and doing great!
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