F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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BlueRidge
I haven't posted for quite some time although I still visit the forum daily. Thought I would post a brief update.

We are 2+years in; dx in March 2014 (13 then); hospitalized for 16 days followed by 3 months of PHP in Apr - Jul; tried to run away in Sep; spent 5 days in adolescent psych unit in Jan 2015 for suicidal ideation in the form of fasting; many, many ups and downs in 2015. The whole year was all but a blur.

This year has been much better. I no longer wake up in the morning wondering if she would restrict at one of the meals anymore. No matter how upset she is, she eats. It may not be totally enough, but she does not restrict any more.

She's gained nearly 70 lbs (doubled her size); has been maintaining a "healthy" weight (75 to 85 percentile) for a long time (over a year); eats cake, ice cream, pizza, red meats, muffins, chocolate... Goes out with friends during meal/snack time and eats with them; occasionally (like a handful of times) eats a bite of something outside of regular meal/snack; comments positively about my cooking or certain foods...

Her mood is much better; our relationship is better than a year ago (she actually made me something on Mother's Day); she's handling school work better. All in all she's progressing.

I remember reading updates like this over a year ago and being green with envy. I didn't understand why the parent was still concerned when their child was able to do all the things above.

I understand now; because deep down you know the ED is still lurking somewhere. D still picks her arms (no more cutting and her T has been working hard with her on reducing the frequency of picking; right now the record is ten days); still doesn't eat a full lunch at school (eats a snack at lunch time and lunch when she gets home); has many OCDs (mostly symmetry, such as touching things with both hands); still has trouble regulating emotions or expressing feelings.

But she is keeping herself alive. For that, I'm grateful!

And if things were way worse a year ago, I can see them getting even better a year from now.

Thanks to you all tough moms and dads. I've learned so much from this forum that without it, I don't think I would be the mom I am today.

Fight on!


18-y-o d dx RAN Mar 2014; WR in 3 mons but continued to gain for another 30+ lbs. ED is mostly gone though some minor remnants are still present; SH finally stopped after 2+ years; started DBT in Jun '15. "Voice in her head", OCD, body image, all slowly chipped away. I am finally breathing again and trying to enjoy life no matter what it brings me.
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Sammie
So glad to hear about your D's progress! Yay! Fight on!
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hopeful_mum
Oh blueridge you could have been writing my summary/update. It seems we've been on parallel journeys. My daughter was also dx in March 2014, IP from June-Oct 2014 but not fully wr until May 2015. Our 2015 was also a horrible blur of hatred n kick backs from being WR. Getting in trouble at school, pushing boundaries, self harm and panic attacks.But I think we had our extinction burst in Sept where she castrophically threw her dinner and the contents of a tomato ketchup bottle and a vinegar bottle all over the room (and her dad!). Since then we have had a quieter, calmer year. She also expresses enjoyment of her food but also struggles a little with lunch at school but does now take crisps and cereal bar which she eats for lunch. She was put on fluoxetine in Jan 2016 which has also eased her low mood and she finds general conversation with family easier now. We still have her social anxiety to contend with which is generally not a problem provided she is in her normal routines and with people she is used to. But any extra challenge such as walking to collect her little sister from school and she just freezes and can't do it. But like you said blueridge I never imagined last year that we would be at such a good place this year. So let's hope for more improvement with each year for us both and everyone else on this horrible journey.
I think I never quite believed that with prolonged WR that things would improve but it does. I just followed the advice given on here coz you guys were the only ones who were actually providing concrete, practical tips and advice. I am forever grateful to this forum and everyone who contributes to it...it's a real lifesaver!!!
The road is long and hard but worth it. To all those still in the thick of it all keep believing that with each extra kg you are one step closer to getting your child back n kicking ED's butt out the window. Easier days will come so keep up your brick wall. You're all doing a fantastic job! It's important to believe in yourselves.
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mnmomUSA
Yes!!! So glad to read your update.  Keep on keeping on. It gets better, little by little.  Agonizingly slow.  
D, age 18, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since.  UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side.  :-)  D at college and doing great!
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trusttheprocessUSA
wow just wow. She doubled her weight - so did my son. You are a hero !!
Son diagnosed @ 12.5 yrs old with Severe RAN 2/11. Co-morbids - anxiety, Active restriction for 3 months. He stopped eating completely 2x. He needed immediate, aggressive treatment from a provider who specialized in eating disorders, adolescents and males. We got that at Kartini Clinic. WR since 5/11. 2017 getting ready to graduate slipping lost 8lbs. Fighting our way back.
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BlueRidge
I want to add that d (and I) started DBT last July and she seems to be using some skills in coping. Another thing is the medication. She's on lexapro (10 mg daily), Lamictal (200 mg) and Zyprexa (3.75 mg). It's been taking months and months to wean her off Zyprexa which she's been on since dx, and switch her to Lamictal. We are in the overlapping phase and if Lamictal proves to be effective, she will be off Zyprexa in a couple of months.   
18-y-o d dx RAN Mar 2014; WR in 3 mons but continued to gain for another 30+ lbs. ED is mostly gone though some minor remnants are still present; SH finally stopped after 2+ years; started DBT in Jun '15. "Voice in her head", OCD, body image, all slowly chipped away. I am finally breathing again and trying to enjoy life no matter what it brings me.
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mjkz
I love updates like this.  So glad you posted.
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HateEDwithApassion
Thank you. What a wonderful reminder that as bad as things are today, they may not be that way in 6 months or a year. Congratulations and nice work! You rock!

I needed to read this today, so your story was a welcome one!!

19 yo D. AN - since about 15 years old. WR quickly - but the last four years have been tough. Since Sept. 2017, two residential stays, now in IOP, fighting a relapse. ED is hanging on, mental state not great, can't get her to remain at a weight long enough or high enough to see mental healing. She's on a gap year that will likely now turn into two.
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Colleen
My pastor, who was a HUGE support to me during d's illness, used to say to me when I was feeling discouraged and worried that *this* was as good as it would get:

"Why would she NOT continue to improve?"

And she did!

Hang onto hope for a full recovery.  You have done/are doing an amazing job!!
Colleen in the great Pacific Northwest, USA

"What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease."
Alexander Pope, 1688-1744
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