F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Pingu Show full post »
Nicstar4
Pingu, hang in there. She loves you, and knows that no matter how she treats you, you will still love her. So she is able to express her pain with you. It hurts, so much. You cannot let yourself be swayed by your ex.
Dealing with ex’s makes this whole situation so much more complicated.
There is no ability for anyone to change her love for you. Keep clear on being kept in the picture.
Of course ED has gone toward her dad. ED can do what it wants with people when they have no knowledge of how to manage ED.
All this reinforces that you are confronting ED.
Keep loving her and confronting ED. You are doing so amazingly well!
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ValentinaGermania
Pingu wrote:
Thanks everyone appreciate all the messages
What I’m scared of is my ex using her hatred or the ED hatred of me to his advantage. I’m not being bitter or negative but that is a very real possibility
Thanks Krae I’m seeing the surgeon tomorrow so can’t wait
I’m in a morphine bubble at the minute 🤪


What I tried to do is show the ED (and in your case the EX) that I am loving her UNCONDITIONALLY and that they will not destroy that. When she told me she does not want to talk to her I texted her later some nice words or a nice picture. When she told me she does not want to see me I went there nevertheless. I brought her nice little presents and wrote her letters the days I could not visit. I tried to show her at least 3 times a day "I am here, I care, I love you".

She never said thanks or told me she was happy about anything I did but when she came home from IP I found out that she collected every single thing I sent her and she did not delete one single message from me...

Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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yellowcaty
Hi Pingu

I can really sympathise with you. I’ve had absolutely no contact with my D today. She won’t answer my calls or my texts. It really breaks my heart as hearing from her is the only thing that gets me through the day. In the bathroom at the moment having a complete melt down. Had a social worker call today as she has been referred because she has been in hospital more than 3 months. Apparently it is procedure but it just made me feel even more of a failure.
Sending you lots of virtual hugs
Xxx
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Pingu
Oh yellowccaty

Am so sorry you have had an awful day
Anorexia really does infetct the whole family doesn’t it
Thanks for your kind words and if you need to talk just message me xxxx
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Pingu
Hi all
So she called tonight and could tell she was moody
She was made to eat pizza,coleslaw and dough balls
Apparently she was there for over 2 3/4 hours and could finish it
She was marked as bob conoliant sinwas unable to go on the trip they had on for bowling tonight and all the others went
You know what I’m glad
It’s the first time anyone had properly stood up to ed and she has learnt a hard lesson
I was not int the mood for whining aontold her so and also said she hadn’t once asked about my back
Just wanted to remind her we all have our own challenges and demons
She was getting so wound il so said I’m not talking to you while your being like this and said I was ending the call

Sent her a couple of messages telling hOw much I do love and adore her
She then said she loves me but was turning her phone off to get away from it for a bit yay

Not sure if i didnthe right thing but I’m not listening to whining
She refused in the community so this is how it has to be
She kept saying hospital was an empty threat and one she wasn’t bothered about so there you go

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Pingu
Apologies I can spell
I couldn’t edit properly
On my phone .....sob


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Enn
Pingu wrote:
>Sent her a couple of messages telling hOw much I do love and adore her
She then said she loves me but was turning her phone off to get away from it for a bit yay

She said she loves you too!!!
Hurray!!!

XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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yellowcaty
I’m so glad you got an I love You. Those moments are so precious. They do have to learn some hard lessons in IP. If my D has had to have a replacement then they are not allowed leisure trips. She also missed a bowling trip. At her unit they are only allowed 45 mins to eat and if they don’t finish they get the meal replaced. Does your D have to stay until she finishes?

I eventually got a phone call which was nice. She was quiet and didn’t really want to speak, but at least I heard her voice.
X

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Pingu
At meal times they have to finish and they stay as long as needed
Or they get reported and miss nice things
At the other place they gave her 40 mins then they took it away
All she did was dawdle to avoid the food
I’m not entertaining the moaning and if it means I dont speak to her for a bit then fine
I know I sound hard but I did t negotiate with my son when he was diagnosed autistic so I’m finding some of my old fighting spirit
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kazi67
Dear Pingu
It’s nice when you dont have to be the bad guy isn’t it?
(Eat in a certain time frame or miss out on trips) That’s the rules and they have to learn that the food HAS to go in!
When my d would complain on the phone I would be sympathetic but then also add you are luckynto have a bed and to trust the process
Good on you for finding your fighting spirit!!
it WILL get better!!
x
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