F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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PurpleRain
We are still on lockdown but we rented a house with a swimming pool an hour away from our city for a few days. Just our kids (step son 20 years, EDd 14 almost 15, youngest S 10), hubby, and me plus our 2 dogs. All in all we enjoyed it and was a good experience. It was a welcome change in scenery, my D was able to behave and interact in a more teen appropriate fashion with her older brother (we hadn't seen him in months due to the covid lockdown) and I think that was really good for her.
But it was also a rollercoaster of emotions. She has been doing really well food and mood wise (WR back to her growth curve + cushion), but during the holidays I had to push her to wear appropriate clothing (shorts, sleeveless shirts, and specially swimsuits) so mood was up and down (no problems with the food though). I felt disappointed that she still has body issues (not sure if it qualifies as body dismorphia or just "normal" teen dissatisfaction), but really proud of her because she eventually wear everything I asked her to, including a swimsuit without a t-shirt to get into the swimming pool, yey! (only a couple of times but still). The best moment was when she was doing a silly dance while wearing swimsuit and shorts, that's the girl I use to know! I almost cried happy tears (but kept my polar face). The last day she had her period (a few days early), so I realised that she did all that with hormones raging through her body! So, we still have a long way to go, it's difficult sometimes to know when it's ED, when it's PMS, when is normal teen annoying behaviour, but I feel she is making progress, not as fast as I would like (some days I feel we should be further along by now) but progress nevertheless. It is a marathon indeed, not a sprint.
I'm so grateful for this wonderful forum where I can share this victories that no one else would understand!
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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salmy
I love this post and am glad to know we are not the I it family with and ED teen that has been vacationing despite Covid and ED. We have taken 3 trips, each presenting different challenges, one was an absolute horror show... when vacationing with extended family(wouldn’t recommend that when you need more control over meal times and content!), but taking trips has forced D to address her flexibility issues and to play... really play with her brothers. One of her body dysmorphia issues is around her stomach and she doesn’t like anything to touch her belly. Thankfully the super high waisted bathing suit bottoms are in style and she picked 4 bikinis to wear this summer... she had never been a bikini wearer previously. She seems more herself, more confident, more at peace in those bathing suits than I’ve seen her since pre-Ed.
D16 diagnosed AN October 2019 -25% of body weight, but still "healthy weight" per Dr.
Started FBT Dec 2019
July 2020 Fully WR + 10%
2 Months in to Phase 2
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PurpleRain
How wonderful that she wore bikinis! My D used bikinis all her live until ED arrived (when she was just turned 13), now she  bearly use a complete and quite modest swimsuit, but she did! She hates her boobs and buttoks, so high waisted bikinis won't help in her case. She was so care free even in 7th grade, it brakes my heart. So happy for you and your D! It gives me hope
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
Quote
PurpleRain
Another difficulty is being a good role model re body image. I have gained as much as her but of course I didn't needed it, so I don't like my self in swimming suit either, but you (I) have to pretend to feel comfortable. the amazing thing is after a while, I was (fake it till you make it), but it wasn't easy.
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
Quote
salmy
PurpleRain wrote:
Another difficulty is being a good role model re body image. I have gained as much as her but of course I didn't needed it, so I don't like my self in swimming suit either, but you (I) have to pretend to feel comfortable. the amazing thing is after a while, I was (fake it till you make it), but it wasn't easy.


yes!! All of this! I also bought bikinis,  have a bigger body and have gained with her... and have had to really be bold and make a lot of noise about how I feel in my body... that took a lot of energy,  but also, after some time all of it became true ❤️
D16 diagnosed AN October 2019 -25% of body weight, but still "healthy weight" per Dr.
Started FBT Dec 2019
July 2020 Fully WR + 10%
2 Months in to Phase 2
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