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Oxfordad Show full post »
yellowcaty
Hi Qxfordad

How are things going? I’ve been thinking about you.
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Oxfordad
Hi Yellowcaty,
                        Just back from a visit,Daughter still hates the place so ED must be feeling threatened.
Unfortunately Daughter has started a appeal against her section (She even has a solicitor )they are meeting Thursday to decide. Although she has been complying with the meals Surely she can't win and discharge herself again.She believes she doesn't need to be there ,hasn't unpacked her bags and is not  getting to know the other girls which is unlike her.

Thank you again for your concern.We really appreciate it.
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yellowcaty
Hi

I don’t have much experience of sections as my D has always been an informal patient, but she was warned early on that if she tried to discharge herself then they would apply for a section. I really don’t think that if they had to section her to get her there they would then allow her discharge herself/ remove the section. It just seems so ludicrous that sick children are allowed to do this and parents have limited say. When my D did ask for the unit to discharge her some months ago, I was very clear that we wouldn’t be able to cope at home. Are you able to attend the section meeting and have your own input?

I think it is common that they think they don’t need to be an inpatient. My D will still say that she is fine. We have been lucky that she has a very good consultant who sees through her and knows she isn’t ready to come home yet.

I hope Thursday goes well and the right decision is made. I’ll be thinking about you all.
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Oxfordad
Hi Yellowcaty

Daughter has 'allowed us to be present 'on Thursday at her appeal .Still can't understand how this works and is at her best interest.I too will try to confir that we have tried, but with daughter's present state cannot cope at home.Will ring her solicitor tommorow , to if I can ,calmly convey  our concerns.

I do understand that those posting here have taking  time out from their own battles to help others.So thank you Yellowcaty and 
I do hope that your daughter is on the road to recovery.
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tina72
I would think about sending the solicitor some good information about anosognosia (for example that https://tabithafarrar.com/2016/12/anosognosia-eating-disorders-dont-know-sick/). The solicitor will not know much about EDs I fear and will not know that anosognia exists.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Foodsupport_AUS

I agree with the suggestion to speak to her solicitor to give them information along with presenting that you cannot cope at home. Unfortunately this sort of thing is part of how compulsory treatment needs to work. Coerced and compulsory treatment for mental health has a long and dark history. Of course it means that your D's illness will feel compelled to try to fight the sectioning, and the unit is obligated to let her know that she has this choice. The goal of course is to get this reviewed by someone "at arms length" to see if her treatment is just and appropriate. I trust the judge sees that everyone is acting in D's best interest and she has no insight into her illness. 

D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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yellowcaty
Hi
Been thinking about you and wondering how you are getting on.
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Oxfordad
Hi Yellowcaty,
         Daughter had her appeal against her section She had high hopes ,but thankly the Judge agreed with the doctors and our concerns that we emailed her solicitor (thanks tina72 for your advice) to uphold the section.Daughter didn't take the decision well, and with an increase in her daily calorie intake(this IP unit tell them what each meal adds up too) has struggled.For the first time in both her IP stays she has not wanted a visit and turned down her daily phone call.She knows her section runs out next week and believes that because she has been complying can again discharge herself .I think we have been here before!!
    We understand that a lot of the children are not on section but are still there ,surely they want to leave when by law they cannot be kept there,What are we missing ,have heard that one option is that we can refuse to have ED home again and if they cannot find any relative to go to will have to stay in IP.We know this will be quite an explosive situation next week so batten down the hatches.

Your thoughts as always are greatly appreciated.
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tina72
Can´t the section be extended? Is it only for short time? That is senseless as an AN is not treated in IP in short time.
I would make clear that you will not take her home in that state and brief all relatives that they could contact to refuse.
It is so hard that we need to do such things but it is for their health and sanity.

It is hard for her, please try not to take it personally, she refuses to see you because ED wants to seperate her and tells her she does not deserve contact and your love. Send her messanges and letters and little presents when she refuses visits to show her you care and love her.
I did think my d threw that all away but when she came home I saw that she collected all this stuff...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Havanese
She was able to discharge herself at 14? We put our daughter inpatient at 14 after warning her for weeks that we would if she didn’t fully comply with her meal plan. Unfortunately the entire experience was traumatic for her so we took her home after two weeks. If it were me I would try another week or so at home watching her carefully during and after meals, if she refuses to eat, repeatedly engagaes in behaviors, or drops any more weight I would put her inpatient (warn her that you will beforehand, it can be a good motivator). If it gets to be too much for you than put her inpatient (your health matters too). You’ve got this!
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yellowcaty
Hi

I think refusing to take her home may unfortunately be your only answer. I would argue the case with the unit that she is too unwell to be making decisions for herself. Hopefully they could apply for an extension to the section. My D isn’t sectioned but stays in IP willingly (sort of). She is constantly telling me that she doesn’t need to be there but also knows that we couldn’t cope at home. She also has a great consultant who tells her the same.

It is crazy that with all the publicity about mental health in the uk, our children can still make these decisions.

Try to stay strong. It is awful when they refuse contact but it will be ED not your daughter. It will be feeling out of control at the moment and will be doing all it can to cause rifts. I just tell my D how much I love her when she tells me that I don’t care. She knows that I’m not going anywhere no matter what.

Make sure you take care of yourself too. Do you have a support network around you?

Sending lots of hugs
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Oxfordad
Hi All,
           Daughters section ran out yesterday,which meant she was now a voluntary patient,  they tried to get a section 3 (up to 6mth treatment section) but messed it up.They called us to ask if we were coming to pick her up and take her home.(I can hear a collective WHAT?!!!)
 Our only option has been to refuse to take ED home ,we think it was important to let D know it was the ED we didn't want at home not her.
You can all imagine how her evening phone call home went after they had told her what was happening.Not expecting D to nominate us for any Parent of the year awards any time soon.
Thinking about it last night we are hoping it will send a clear message that we will do anything to get her better,no matter how hard and awful it is for everyone.

.Who wants accolades anyway.
Look after yourselves today.
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tina72
You have done the right thing althought it must have been so hard.
"Not expecting D to nominate us for any Parent of the year awards any time soon."
I nominate you for my warriors of the day award!!!
And I can promise you your d will nominate you for parents of the year again when ED has moved out. Our d is totally thankful today what we did and are still doing and we are very close again.
ED can go and die!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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scaredmom
Oxfordad,
You did the right thing. Your d is not well and she needs to be in the hospital.
You are very brave. You are awesome parents. 
It does get better when they are well again. 
I know it feels so awful right now but it will get better. Her health then your relationship will improve greatly. These painful times are part and parcel of hero parenting. 
Wishing you all well,
XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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yellowcaty
Hi Oxfordad

How are things going? I know it was hard refusing to bring her home but I’m sure it was for the best and she will thank you one day.

Is she still there? Have they managed to sort another section?

Think of you often
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tina72
Hi Oxfordad,
I was thinking of you. How is your d?
It is so hard when they are in IP and you sit at home and can do barely nothing. I hope she gains weight and you can take her back home, soon. If you find the power for a short update we would apreciate that a lot cause we are all with you in spirit.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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