F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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yellowcaty
Hi all

D has been in new IP unit for nearly 2 months now. She is engaging more with the consultant and therapist and has cut the purging down. She keeps asking to come home as she thinks she can do it here. The consistent message from the unit is that they are encouraged but she is not ready for home yet.

She was home yesterday and managed quite well, although still got overwhelmed at times. She even took her flute back to the unit to play. She hadn’t picked it up for well over a year.

I know I should be jumping for joy, but there is a part of me that doesn’t dare to hope that this could be the beginning of real recovery. We are nearing 10 months of IP and I suppose I’m scared of how we will maintain it when she comes home.
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scaredmom
Oh yellowcaty,
You are allowed and expected to feel so hopeful.
I understand your trepidation but after ten months you deserve this. Your d sounds like she is finding herself again. Picking up the flute to play is wonderful.
I am so happy for you! So glad you shared that with us. 
XXX
Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Mcmum
No, you're not imagining it! Those are three distinct positives. Take the hope as let's be honest, life has been very generous with the pain so dare to hope.  Without this, what is there? You and your family deserve a break.  The flute is an amazingly positive sign, in fact the new ip, despite your trepidation has been pretty darned good.  Really pleased for you that things are looking up. Trust your instincts xxx
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Foodsupport_AUS
It does sound like these are signs of improvement. I found for my D that starting to interact better and taking up old hobbies like music were also early signs of recovery. It happens ever so slowly. It took me years before I got to the point that I have reasonable confidence if full recovery. We still have a few vestiges of ED 9 years in here. Your worry is normal, it is so scary to consider that she could go backwards again. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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blondie
I think fear is natural - I expect your daughter, whilst wanting to come home, is also scared of what life outside of the rules and routines of the IP unit will be like
In my experience, there will be quite a few trial trips home - each time for a bit longer - and it's important that you're both honest with each other and with the staff about how it went. I'm also hoping that you/she will still be receiving support when she's discharged - either from the unit or from another source?
I know some people find having rules helpful to start with i.e. limits on exercise, meal and snack timings/regularity, supervised time after meals, products that are and aren't allowed, access to scales etc ….but only know if that will work for you and D

The fact that your daughter is engaging with the team in the unit though and you are hearing of/seeing some behaviour changes - including that she's showing interest in old hobbies - is really encouraging!

Have they given you any indication of if/when she might be discharged?
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Mamaroo
It does look like she is embracing life more and more. That is great news.

Could you prepare your home so that it resembles the IP unit? Have the same routine and activities and present the same meals at the same time in the same way. That would make the transition less scary and a lot more smoothly. Just keep on swimming, you are doing great!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her.
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tina72
This sounds definitivly like improvement!!! But it is a rollercoaster and you will see some ups and downs in the next time so I personally would wait a bit before trying to take her home. Maybe you can have some weekends at home first?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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mjkz
That's awesome!!!  All three things are great progress but I'll be honest with you.  I've learned to expect backslide a little bit with each advance so I'm not disappointed.  I hate to say that but trying to be realistic.
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