F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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wewillpersevere
Hey everybody!! I hope you're all doing well, and you continue to find the strength to get up each and everyday and continue the fight!!

I have an important question, because we've been refeeding since november 2015, and my daughter has been WR for about a month (she's at 46 kg, 152 cms.). The thing is that, even though she says she was 'airy' (it was like she would burp with no burp) prior to the refeeding, I recall her gasses getting worse and worse as we re fed. So the 'airs' slowly turned into reflux, slowly turned into burps with reflux. The thing is that her diet -of course- had all the things recommended on this page: lots of cream and fattening things, high calorie EVERYTHING. Basically, I would say we relied heavily on cream and high calorie ice cream EVERYDAY for about 6 straight months. Then we took the cream out, and around a month ago, the ice cream from her shake. She has a little bit of abdominal pain when she eats lunch, a lot of burps, some reflux. Today and tomorrow we're getting some tests done. But the thing is that I'm worried I ruined her normal GI functioning and that now I have another problem to solve!! I feel terrible, because we didn't have any nutritional support other than following this forum (which my husband and I think was better than having inappropriate support from uninformed health professionals), but now I think we might have made a mess and that we kind of weakened her digestive system. Sorry if this post seems whiny and exagerated, I know a lot of you would give anything to have a WR child, reflux or no reflux, but I can't help beating myself up and thinking we may have created another problem. Thanks for your time, and wishing the best to all!!
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Blommie
Hi there, well done for getting your d to a healthy weight- you are a super hero!!
Please don't be so hard on yourself, you did what you needed to do and you have saved you d life. I am not a doctor and we can only talk about our own experience here, I am glad you d is going for tests. However I want to share our experience- our d had a terrible time for a long time with 'reflux' and burping- it was very unpleasant for us to see and for her too. I don't know what caused it but I feel strongly that in her case it was due to purging but I will never know. She had pain due to the reflux and we had her on some meds for while too but they didn't help much.
The good news is that this subsided as she stayed at a healthy weight over time and it has disappeared now. I do think my d has mild IBS and often has terrible stomach aches but this too has gotten getter over the last few months.
I hope this helps a little. x
D officially diagnosed April 2014 at age 13 after being hospitalised on a medical ward due to severe restriction. Been refeeding at home, doing FBT through CAMHS. Living life moment by moment
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OneToughMomma
I think Bloomie is right. Our d also suffered from various gastric and digestive complaints. I think it was the years of abuse heaped on her body by ED rather than the nutrition that we pumped into it. Even if her problems were caused by nutrition, I would not regret it for a single second. Without those gallons of canola oil, my d would be dead.

Over time things have settled, but d still sometimes has sudden, random-seeming abdominal upsets. I suspect anxiety causes them now. She is getting better over time and I expect to see continued improvements.

Please don't feel guilty about saving your d's life!

xoOTM
D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
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NellyMac_UK
I think it is probably the digestive system getting used to doing it's job again, our D also had wind, bloating etc and felt uncomfortably full for a long time.  It gradually eases over time.  

Please don't let ED talk you into cutting out gluten or other food types at this stage as IBS would be an easy way back in.  It is very difficult in our culture to accept that we had to feed high calorie unhealthy foods to our children in order for them to return to a healthy weight and start recovery - these foods are villains in our culture, and I certainly struggled putting cream and oils into our Ds soups etc, I felt so guilty, but it worked!  

You have done brilliantly getting your D w/r but it has only been a month and you need to be on your guard that ED doesn't find a way back in.

Hopefully her stomach will settle over time, it took quite a few months for our D, and I myself had bulimia for a few years as a teenager and suffered with these problems for a few years afterwards, it actually helped me to realise how much I was damaging my body and helped prevent relapse later on.  

We found peppermint tea nice and soothing.

I hope this helps  xx
Diagnosed RAN October 2013, w/r but struggling with depression and anxiety.
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wewillpersevere
You guys are all so amazing. I swear, I don't know where we would be right now without this forum. Almost a year it's been since my daughter was diagnosed with AN and I'm starting to feel a bit more tired than before: I cried like I hadn't done for such a long time last night, while my hubby whispers to me "It's all going to be alright". Nobody can understand, only we do, right? I thank God every single day for finding this forum, it not only saved my daughter's life but continues to be my source of inspiration and empowerment day in and day out. 

My daughter is downstairs, building a machine with cardboard. She's singing to herself and talking as if she were recording a video for youtube. She is so much better than what I thought in my darkest moments... And it's all been food. 

Love to all.
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OneToughMomma
Dear wewillpreservere,

It's such a long haul, isn't it? You are doing great, and just like your h says, it's all going to be alright.

Take care of yourself and don't lose heart.

xoOTM
D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
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sk8r31
It IS a long haul, and for the caregiver, when you can finally relax somewhat as your d is WR and family is no longer in crisis mode....well, that's when it be unexpectedly tough as well.

I think as caregivers we put a lot of our own needs aside in the initial, challenging days of refeeding, and as your child becomes more stable physically and mentally, then your own health needs tending.

I love books, and am a voracious reader.  Couldn't pick up a book for more than a year following d's WR....I was so drained mentally that I couldn't focus, and couldn't even muster the interest, to be honest.

The tincture of time worked its magic, and I slowly started doing more things for myself, including reconnecting socially, going out a bit more, doing a few basic crafty things (knitting long scarves that didn't require counting stitches...).  But it took quite some time...and some counseling too, to help reframe and refocus and get back into the swing of life.  Be gentle with yourself.

It most definitely helps to connect online and in person if possible with folks who 'get it' and have walked this difficult journey of helping a loved one to recover from an ED.

As well, with regards to your initial questions about GI stuff...our d suffered for a long, long time with stomach discomfort and bloating, gas etc.  I think it can of course depend on the individual, but gut motility after restriction or purging etc can take an awfully long time to get back to normal.  More than a year, in our d's case.

Always good to check in with a GP about such things too...we are not docs, and can only offer our own anecdotal evidence about what may be going on.

Hang in there!  You have done an amazing job to get your d to where she is now.  Wishing you all the best.
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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Cherryusa
http://www.scienceofeds.org/2014/02/19/eating-disorders-and-irritable-bowel-syndrome/

Hope this helps!
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