F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

NellyMac_UK
Our D has been w/r for almost a year now - she is more than 100% weight for height so recovered to a decent weight not just maintaining.  She is eating independently and enjoying food - I really do not see any signs of ED in her life anymore.

Two days ago she took an overdose.

She has been struggling with her depression and anxiety and it has steadily been getting worse.  We are all exhausted and have been totally let down by CAHMS. 

However, she has now been referred to the adult mental health team and they seem so much better, they have been reassuring and responding to her concerns and needs rather than digging for causes.  I am hopeful that they will be able to help her.

I am just wondering if others have also struggled with mental health issues after the ED.

Our D made an interesting comment.  She said "Mum I didn't have proper anorexia, I never wanted to be thin, I just wanted to die.  It was so annoying going to the clinic [EDICT] because all they talked about was how fat I thought I was."

It breaks my heart to think about it, she was desperate for help and she really tried to work with them but they didn't listen. 
Diagnosed RAN October 2013, w/r but struggling with depression and anxiety.
Quote
Torie
So sorry to hear this, NellyMac.  Sounds a lot like my d, except that my d never actually took the overdose ... just fantasizes about it.  I think her main symptom all along is wanting to die.  Sorry, I have no answers, but perhaps it helps a bit to know I'm sitting here across the pond wrestling with the same questions.

Hugs from afar ...

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Quote
Aussie
Hi NellyMac
My 16yr old d has been weight restored for well over a year but we still battle with mental health issues. My d tried to OD 7 months ago and self harmed which saw her in the hospital for 3 days. I was left traumatised by what she tried to do. I'm still coming to grips with it. I thought that once we had the ED under control that all the other stuff would disappear but that hasn't been the case. It's been extremely stressful as I'm a sole parent. My ds psych seems to think that she has borderline personality disorder but won't diagnose her until she is 18. She still suffers from self loathing. At the moment she is stable and back at school. After her OD attempt I pulled her out of school for the final term. Sometimes I think her ED was a symptom of another mental illness...maybe depression...I'm not sure. It's exhausting as I constantly worry about her. I try not to leave her alone. It's frustrating and disheartening when you get ontop of ED only to realise that the mental health issues are still there. Hugs to you xx
Quote
NellyMac_UK
Thanks for your replies.

It was evident that she was struggling with anxiety before the ED developed and I believe that she developed anorexia as a way of distracting herself from this.  But i thought the ED had damaged her brain and distorted her thinking (which it had) and that it would be easy to sort out these problems once the ED was dealt with and her brain had healed.

It makes me so very angry to think that she had all these professionals involved and they just discharged her once she was at a healthy weight without treating the underlying cause.  It is a long story but basically she was discharged to a community CPN who was worse than useless and refused to give us anyone else to work with.  So we were left without any support at all. 

I was wondering if there are different types of anorexia/ED - maybe for some sufferers it is all about food and for others it is a symptom of other problems? 

Her life has been changed forever, and we have to accept that but i really hope she can rebuild a new life that is happy and fulfilling.  At the moment it is just an existence that she is struggling to cling on to, there is no joy.

We are waiting for the first appointment/assessment with the adult service.  It is also shocking that she took an OD and now we have to wait a few weeks for them.  They have been out to the house for an initial introduction and seemed very good but I want help now! Everything takes so long. D is so desperate and we have been struggling so long, we are all exhausted and we have to find the emotional resources to be patient and wait a bit longer for treatment.  

Diagnosed RAN October 2013, w/r but struggling with depression and anxiety.
Quote
skechers
I know just how you feel as we have similar problems here. My d is almost two years post dx and has been at a good weight and eating well for quite some time as well. I thought she was doing fine, but she had a breakup with her boyfriend that hit her hard and ended up breaking down at school and admitting she had self harmed a few times during the time I  she was dating and I thought she was very happy. We had been going to therapy for the past year, I thought just to make sure we were on top of the ED, but her therapist just told me when she had her breakdown that she thought d has always been a little depressed. Would have been nice if she told me that before. Anyway, therapist recommended we see a psych for medication review as d is currently on Lexapro for anxiety-which I have always known she had. Psych just confirmed d still has a lot of depression, suicidal thoughts, and is switching her meds to Prozac.   I hope this does the trick but  I know just how you feel.  I thought we were close to the end of our battle, and I now am just realizing the same as you. I believe d's pre-existing depression and anxiety was a huge contributor to her ED and maybe ED was just a different way to self harm. It makes me worried that the depression can bring on the ED, so we will always have to worry not just that she will get depressed, but that it will trigger an ED relapse.

I hope you get help soon. Is there any other person you could see to  perhaps get some medication? A GP maybe. I'm not familiar with how the health care system works in UK. Lexapro did help my d for a while, but I guess it can lose effect after time.
Quote
Norah_US
We are dealing with similiar issues. My D has been fully WR for more than 2 years, without any signs of ED behaviors or thinking. She continues to struggle with depression and anxiety. She has been hospitalized several times, including most recently following an overdose. We really are at a loss as to how to help her at this point. She has a both a psychiatrist and a therapist we feel good about, yet we haven't seemed to make much headway against the depression. We had hoped that DBT would help, but unfortunately the DBT program we tried did more harm than good. (I still believe that DBT would be helpful to her. Unfortunately the program that we tried was poorly run and the therapist she was working with engaged in some very unprofessional and destructive behavior. As a result, I don't think we'll get her back to any DBT program anytime soon.)
Daughter dx at age 14 with AN and depression. Currently 19 and experiencing a relapse.
Quote
Torie
This is eerie.  Please see this thread that I started EXACTLY one year ago, on May 2, 2014:

http://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/when-depression-precedes-ed-6878592#gsc.tab=0

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Quote
NellyMac_UK
Thanks Torie, I have just re-read your thread (funnily enough i had commented on it). 

Our D is on medication (SSRIs and beta blockers) which do help but medication on it's own is not enough.  I felt so positive when we reached w/r - I thought we had kicked EDs butt, which we had, but I did not realise we had another monster to fight.  I now feel that I need to educate and empower myself to kick the butt of the depression/anxiety monster, but i am finding it hard to find a good source of information.  I am also struggling to find the strength to do it.  I really hoped we would be over the worst by now. Also my Dad died recently so I just don't have the emotional capacity to gear up for another fight but i know I have to if D is going to have a chance of full recovery.  At the moment we are in the situation of supervising her 24/7 until the mental health team get rolling.  It is exhausting.  She took the overdose whilst I was washing up so I am on tenterhooks all the time and don't feel I can read her mood a well as I thought I could.  She also cut her wrist badly so now has wounds which are going to take time to heal.

I am sorry for anyone who is reading this and starting out on their journey/fight.  Don't get me wrong, our D would not be here today if we had not found this forum and gained access to the information and support to help her beat her ED.  I just truly hoped that we would be sorted once ED was out of the picture, but we are still fighting to save our Ds life and hang onto our own sanity so that we can help her.

Love to you all who are out there battling on xxx

Diagnosed RAN October 2013, w/r but struggling with depression and anxiety.
Quote
Torie
NellyMac, At least we have found a little group of similar sufferers, kind of a club within a club, neither of which we wanted to join.  As you said, it is so frustrating not to know what to try to do.  At least with Ed, our mission was clear.  I have a few questions for those who have joined this thread:

1) Was re-feeding relatively easy for your d? (I think we all have d's apologies if there are parents of s's here, too).  It was surely no walk in the park for us, but much easier than the challenge most FEASTIES face;

2) Did / does your d have terrible self-loathing, and if so, did it precede Ed?  (Yes and yes, here.)

3) Did your d fast? My d didn't diet; she fasted. Sudden, rapid weight loss ... although it turned into a fear of gaining weight, I don't think it started out as a concern about weight.

4) Have you ever wondered if your d is on the autistic spectrum?  That would never have crossed my mind, but I keep feeling like there must be something I'm missing ... some important piece of the puzzle I haven't found yet.  So maybe?

5) Does your d want to NOT get better from the depression?

6) What else do our d's have in common?

I sure hope we can figure out how to beat this.

Hugs to all.

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Quote
NellyMac_UK
Morning Torie, glad to report we had a good nights sleep for a change!  It's sad to know there are others out there in the same position as us but good to find people who understand our situation. 

1. Refeeding wasn't easy for D, I had to spoon feed her and supervise her round the clock so she couldn't throw it up - it was a traumatic time in our lives, but I would say that she reached w/r quite quickly, but I don't know if that is because we refed her aggressively. 

2. She became depressed and anxious before ED, it's hard to know when it started as we thought it was normal teenage angst at first but looking back I think it came on when she started high school and about six months before ED appeared she withdrew from friends and was really struggling.

3.  Yes she did fast, she suddenly started running very early in the morning and was not eating at all.  It was the classic one apple a day diet.

4.  Never suspected autism with D but son has some tendencies.

5.  She definitely wants to get better and is fighting very hard to beat her depression but at the moment she is tired and overwhelmed by it.  She is angry at the services and until now felt there was no one to help her as they have all been useless! Hopefully the adult team will change this.

6.  She has the classic perfectionist personality and sets herself ridiculous targets rather than being able to enjoy skills and hobbies.

I know I am clutching at straws - but I am hoping that the depression will lift as her brain matures.  Just have to keep her alive in the meantime.

Diagnosed RAN October 2013, w/r but struggling with depression and anxiety.
Quote
skechers
My d suffered from terrible anxiety right from age 3 on up. I never realized she was depressed until the ED hit, and then only after reading some of her Tumblr entries. She apparently was depressed at the beginning of 8th grade, right around the time she got her period. She never stopped eating, just cut back until she started losing weight.

Refeeding was easier for us than most on this forum. No throwing plates or screaming. Instead my d cried during eating, but ate really fast to just get it over with.

She was super depressed during refeeding so we put her on Lexapro which was like a miracle drug at first. We are just realizing now it had worn off and now are trying another.

My d wants to get better. One of her biggest problems is social anxiety and she seems to misread people-it's always a negative read, like people are making fun of her or don't want to hang out with her--things I'm pretty sure are not accurate.

I've never considered autism. WHen she was 8 she saw a therapist for her anxiety issues and they gave her an IQ test. She tested at 150 which is gifted.

SHe was a perfectionist when she was younger, but the last two years has let that go thankfully. I thought it was due to medication.

We are hoping the change in meds will have an effect. My d also volunteer at a wildlife rehabilitation center and is good with the animals. I think that helps her mood. SHe also does art when she is stressed. We need to find a different therapist as the one she sees occasionally now is not helping.

Her maudsley coach who we saw for two months was fantastic. SHe somehow motivated her to do things when she was at her lowest. I wish we could find someone like that and we'll keep looking. In the meantime I try to keep her busy. I think time on their hands is not good-they just keep thinking and ruminating.





Quote
Doitagain
Nelly Mac, Sketchers and Torie - I think I should probably join the "club within a club" - there a lot of similarities - I've just posted "how to fill the summer" as I dread the time being spent depressed and ruminating etc. x
Quote
zuzmat
Hi NellyMac, Sketchers, Torie and Doitagain, can I join your gang?!!  My d has many of the same issues and for us the anxiety and depression have always been the bigger concern than the ED, and I've always believed the ED is a manifestation of the former.

In answer to your questions Torie - 1) Yes - refeeding was easier for us than it appears to be for many here 2) Yes - terrible, heart-breaking self loathing 3) Yes - my d fasted. Purged and starved.  4) We have wondered about autism but decided it does not really fit  5) I'm not sure about this one - I think d wants to get better but doesn't know how to help herself.

Like many on here, we feel very unsupported by the medical community.  We have really struggled to find anyone appropriate to help our d and ED specialists seem extremely hard to come by.  I am not prepared for d to go to a 'general' CBT practitioner if they don't understand ED.  D is seeing a therapist but I don't feel it is helping.  We currently seem stuck.  It is so worrying because I just don't know how this will improve and how to help d and nobody that we see - CAMHs, GP, Therapist etc - can offer any suggestions. D is taking medication but we need more than just this.

At least we've got ATDT....!

Thanks to you all.


Quote
braveMom
Hi, I would like to join you'll too as I feel extremely lost and helpless trying to find help for my d for her depression.  She is bulimic and did well last Sep-Nov while in an IOP program.  But right after, her anxiety and depression slowly started creeping in.  There were times when she came out of it for few days.  But she had a relapse around Feb-Mar and is extremely depressed for few weeks now.  She is not able to go to school; first time ever - she was always a diligent student always on top of her work.  She is able to eat and not purge but is very suicidal.  I have an appointment next week at an eating disorder center and hoping I can get into the IOP program.  They have a psychiatrist and hoping we will try medications that will take the edge off.  She was on Prozac last July and did very bad and had a suicide attempt.  Their day IOP has one hr DBT group and I've read that it helps with suicidal thoughts.  Did anyone have any luck with DBT?
She has been insisting that her issue is more than eating.  It's her sadness that takes over.  
Hugs to all of you'll - hoping we will all see light as days and months pass...
Quote
PurpleCatUSA

zuzmat wrote:
My d has many of the same issues and for us the anxiety and depression have always been the bigger concern than the ED, and I've always believed the ED is a manifestation of the former.


Zuzmat,

This describes my feelings about my d exactly.  I am not sure she is classic ED.  Rather, I think the eating stuff is just one more symptom of her other issues.  My d has pre-morbid anxiety and mood disorder.  I am also sure that we will combat this issue and then another one will be waiting (she tried exercise compulsion last week, but I stopped that quickly).  I am wondering if there is anybody out there in the ED/mental health world that is researching these connections--it just seems to obvious to me.

Just as an additional resource, the balanced mind foundation is excellent with mental health issues.  It is a subgroup of DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) specifically for parents of children with mood disorders.  There are parent email groups that you can join for $5 a month.  I have learned more from other parents than I have from any therapist or psychiatrist--just like here.  The parents there are also fantastic.  The website also has a lot of great resources (those are available to anyone for free; it's just the email group that costs money).

And to answer the questions:
1) I would say this has been challenging (some food and plates thrown), but definitely not as challenging as others here (also given that my d needed to stop losing weight/stop restricting; but she never need super high calories).
2) Yes, at times.  Yes, it preceded ED.
3) She restricted food (didn't eat lunch due to anxiety; never has been concerned about weight)
4) No autistic traits at all.
5) Yes--she wants to be better; but she lived through h#ll and knows how bad it can be; she is motivated to take her meds and stay well.
6) I would guess most of us have some form of whack-a-mole parenting going on--solve one problem and then another pops up.

Purple Cat


Quote
Torie
braveMom wrote:
snip
She was on Prozac last July and did very bad and had a suicide attempt.  
snip


My d also got more suicidal when they put her on Prozac.  Can others please tell about their experiences with meds (pos, neg, or not tried).  I see skechers d did well on Lexapro for a while.

Also, I want to clarify my question #1: What I should have asked is whether you were able to re-feed at home or if your d needed IP or what.

Sorry so many are joining this little club within a club, but selfishly it's nice to have the company.

xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Quote
skechers
I see some have had bad experiences with Prozac which is what my d has been switched to from Lexapro. Can those whose d had increased suicidality tell me how soon that started after taking the medication
Quote
BlueRidge
Another "club-within-the-club" member here!

1) Refeeding was not easy but easier than many other families; I did some and the PHP did some. She never threw plates, scream, etc, just hid food and started to SH once the weight went up.

2) I didn't realize she had high anxiety since 2nd grade (or more like BDD that brought up the anxiety and depression) until after dx with RAN.

3) Not 100% but almost. Right before dx when she was really ill, she would eat only one apple or nothing on some days (I only found out later from her journal). Then 7-mon post WR she had a setback fasted for 2/3 days before I took her to IP; there, she confessed that was her suicide plan (starving herself to death).

4) Yes, I have suspected but her first T said she was not. T insisted that she would know if she saw one, and d was not. However, d does have a few OCD behaviors, such as always make the volume on the radio an even number.

5) Not sure if she wants to get better. Her Instagram posts are 80% positive but 20% unsure/confused.

6) I wouldn't call her a perfectionist. She was a solid student before ED and now is doing ok. Not really a high achiever; not very athletic but became a compulsive exerciser during illness; had been shy so was never active in any activities; her personality actually changed during PHP, she became less shy, more social, especially among boys.

One thing about my d is she is extremely closed-in to me, or the family; never talked/talks about any real issues with us, asking for help, expressing feelings, etc. She is getting a bit better with her t and actually writes good insightful answers when she does her BDD homework these days. In general, she is extremely poor in her verbalizing her emotions, or unwilling to.

I do have a rather silly question: HOW DO YOU TELL when someone is depressed or has anxiety? Both my mom and sister had bouts of depression and you could read their depression like an open book. It was so obvious. My mom would have a hard time getting out of bed, and couldn't perform daily house chores. She usually got well within weeks or a few months after medication. But with my d, she seems upbeat or even happy at times, but then I read her journal or phone texting and learned that she would cry herself to sleep. The same with her anxiety, it almost never shows! She never had panic attacks and never refuses to go to school due to anxiety.

She's been on Lexapro and Zyprexa (Olanzapine) for almost a year. Is it helping? I guess but I don't know what would happen is she stops or switches to another SRI. I am having a hard time finding a new psychiatrist for her.

18-y-o d dx RAN Mar 2014; WR in 3 mons but continued to gain for another 30+ lbs. ED is mostly gone though some minor remnants are still present; SH finally stopped after 2+ years; started DBT in Jun '15. "Voice in her head", OCD, body image, all slowly chipped away. I am finally breathing again and trying to enjoy life no matter what it brings me.
Quote
mec
Joining the club here too.

In our case, off the charts ADHD triggered by RAN, or puberty or both. She has always been a bit compulsive though not on the OCD range. Then, last year severe depression triggered by concussion due to a car accident. Put on Zoloft (100 mg) which has worked like magic. Still dealing with some emotional dysregulation issues, poor decision making and who knows what else.

We are going to Children's Hospital of Atlanta this week for neuro-cognitive testing.

I suspect that the concussion triggered mental health issues that would have been triggered sooner or later by something else. A number of mental health issues have their onset or come to the surface between 18 and 25. So, she is right at that window. Hopefully, testing will shed some light though a lot of psychologists are reluctant to put labels on 18 year olds. At least, we hope to have some more information than what we have now.
21 year old daughter who was DX with RAN at 9 years old. The work of recovery is ongoing. 
Quote
skechers
Taipei-how do you recognize depression? I'm so glad you asked this -not that I have the answer-but I have the same question and have been having a hard time understanding why my d tells me she is depressed but she seems okay most of the time.

SOmetimes she is really good at hiding what's really going on in her head, like when she was in the early stages of ED. She hid her torment really well. When she was confronted with the ED diagnosis and refeeding began, she sunk into that really debilitating depression you say you recognize. The one where you cry all the time and literally can't get out of bed. She had that for about a month until medications kicked in.

I thought she had been doing really well lately, until she had the break up with her BF. I really thought it was the breakup causing this recent depression, but she admitted to being depressed before the breakup and self harming at a time I thought she was just doing great and so happy almost all the time, so I share your confusion about how to tell if she's still struggling. I read her Tumblr posts for insight and her personal writings. This is where I learn the most. She has never truly opened up in therapy.
I wish I had the answer. It's so hard worrying whether she's really okay when you she hides so much.



Quote
BlueRidge
skechers, I remember reading your posts and being able to relate to them. One thing encouraging about your d is she actually tells you she's depressed. My d doesn't say a word.

Sometimes I look back on my own adolescence years and recall the melancholic sentiments or just WANTING to be depressed even though I had nothing to feel depressed about. Actually there is a famous Chinese poem that goes like "teens don't understand the real hardship in life; they make themselves feel sad for the sake of writing sad poems." So maybe they are not as depressed as they think or even HOPE they are.

As for SH, it's almost like an Instagram or other social media post that got viral. So many of my d's friends to it, but very superficially. At school, you see kids with faint scars and they feel no need to hide them. In fact, my d has a couple on her thigh but she wears shorts with no hesitations. Again, I am not down playing the severity of SH, but I just wonder if it is as bad as we parents perceive it.

I am not denying our children's illness, just trying to figure out what is really going on. What I wrote would be the BEST scenario, but what's the worst? 
18-y-o d dx RAN Mar 2014; WR in 3 mons but continued to gain for another 30+ lbs. ED is mostly gone though some minor remnants are still present; SH finally stopped after 2+ years; started DBT in Jun '15. "Voice in her head", OCD, body image, all slowly chipped away. I am finally breathing again and trying to enjoy life no matter what it brings me.
Quote
NeeNee
Well it looks like I'm joining yet another club I would rather not be in. My d definitely has more going on than just the ED. When she was sliding down the rabbit hole she became more and more OCD, a trait she did not previously have. She also showed a lot more anxiety, which is also something I can't really say preceded ED. However I can say that she has probably always had trouble regulating her emotions. Our FBT T and the latest T from her IP stay both said there is some emotional disregulation and that there is a "personality piece", as they put it, that she would need to address that as well as the ED. The IP T said it would likely take a couple of years to get it sorted out. That time frame freaked my h out, but I figured it was par for the course

I would not say that refeeding was easy, per se, but I was able to get her to eat at home and she was weight restored after just 6 weeks (although that was only a 15 lb gain). That was mid August.

So just tonight she had a big melt down. She has wanted a tattoo for a while and her father and I are both opposed to tattoos, which she knows. The other night she was talking to me and telling me about the "recovery tattoo" she wants to get. She showed me a pic and explained why she wanted it, how she would place it somewher that was not visible if she didn't want it to be but that she would always know it was there. She will also be 18 soon and will not need my permission. I told her I thought her explanation made sense and that I could see why she wanted it and that maybe when the time came I would not be so opposed to it. Well, she was so excited that I did not just shoot down her idea that since then she has been asking me to talk with her dad to get him on board, saying she wanted it as a graduation gift, and could I please look into places where she could get one, and by the way she would really like to have it BEFORE she walks for graduation, and like all healed up by then too!!!!! I was like WHOAAAAAA, slow down! She just yesterday said she told the psych that she does not even want recovery, and she was only just released from IP last week and is still in php and aren't you rushing things here?

Well, big shutdown on her end. I could see the meltdown coming and ended up staying in her room with her until she fell asleep, as I am sure she would have scratched (she did try to keep pinching herself, hitting herself). She refused her meds until I told her no meds tonight means no phone tomorrow, so she took them. All she did was prove to me that she is no where close to being in a frame of mind to make a decision regarding a tattoo (not that I was ready to go out and get her one, but now I have a clear example of why NOT). What I thought to myself was: shouldn't you be recovered BEFORE getting a recovery tattoo? And at the very least, shouldn't you be actively pursuing recovery, not still trying to decide if you want recovery? And btw she also announced that she was not going to eat tomorrow at all. How that relates and what point she is proving I am not sure, but she will be in php so it will be their problem, not mine.....sigh........
Quote
NellyMac_UK
Has anyone found anything that helps with the depression/anxiety? 

We are still at the stage of supervising 24/7, I sleep in Ds room and never leave her alone in the house.  It is the only way I find of keeping her safe.  We have been coping like this for months now.  She had to stop school to focus on refeeding and because of the her anxiety, but she found an apprenticeship in the autumn when she was feeling better and she has managed to keep that going, which is amazing.  Up to now nobody at her office has known about her illness but they will probably notice the wounds on her wrists when she goes back, as she cut her arm from the wrist to half way up.  When she took the overdose last week she was just put on a medical ward and monitored overnight then released back into our care and told to self refer to the adult mental health team, which she has done.  I asked them to admit her a psychiatric unit as I don't feel we can keep her safe (she took OD whilst I was washing up) and we are exhausted, but they said she wasn't ill enough and that they are very disturbing places and not really suitable for her.

She has been taught mindfulness but is resistant towards it.  We do yoga with a dvd at home and she uses scented candles and music to calm herself and watches endless TV.  I also try to get her out of the house once a week as she suffers from agrophobia and social anxiety.  Wish me luck as we are going to try to go to the cinema later.

I have just come across this website and it looks interesting - haven't got time to read it all now but I like the sound of it.

http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/depression-learning-path/

I would also be grateful of any tips on how to cover scars - I know its better to accept them but I don't think people at her work will understand and she isn't strong enough to cope with any comments at the moment, just with summer coming she is going to get very hot!  I bought some Dermablend (which cost £30!!!) and it doesn't cover them at all.

I am sorry if I am rambling, my own thoughts are not entirely rational at the moment!
Diagnosed RAN October 2013, w/r but struggling with depression and anxiety.
Quote
HoldingOn
We have a similar problem. 

Before ED. Apparently happy teenager/ young adult. Doing extremely well at uni with plenty of friends. 

After ED. Now weight restored for 7 months. Self harm. Suicidal (5x attempts). Highly anxious. BPD (possibly bipolar). Major depression. 3x involuntary psych admissions. 

Now back at work (but I found out on the weekend when H and I went to visit that she was cutting- quite deeply again). Scars up and down her arms and legs. Ripping herself to shreds every night. She covers them at work with cardigans and stockings. From the outside she looks like she is doing fine. Work is going well. She does PHP twice a week. Attending all appointments. Somehow she can't seem to tell people how she is really feeling. 

I think with both our D's we need to take things one step at a time. Psych isn't always helpful unless your D is in absolute crisis and needs to be contained and sedated. Adult psych wards are terrifying places. The times D was there she was actively trying to kill herself and needed to be in a safe place. Be warned they don't deal with EDs very well. My D managed to go 36 hours without food and the not much more the rest of the weeks. If you have any concerns about her that she will hurt herself. Call an ambulance and then hopefully she will see a psychiatrist and get an admission. 

Other that keep going with the baby steps. Going to the cinema is a good start. Getting her to sit down for two hours and focus on something other than ODing. 
DD dx 20 RAN, Refeed inpatient, relaspe 22 (exercise compulsion, cutting, suicide attempt)refeed inpatient now 23 recently caught with purging behaviours, weight slowly dropping after reintroducing exercise now moving out of home for third time (lucky hopefully!)

Hang in there kids! It's going to be a bumpy ride
Quote
30BT
My D is not yet WR but nearly there- only about a or 2 kg off. The higher her weight the more anxiety and depression. She is an IP in our tertiary children's hospital with 1:1 nursing awaiting a bed in the mental health unit. She can't tell them why she is sad and wants to end her life but had a serious attempt today on the ward when left unattended with suction tubing . Because the mental health ward is inside the hospital they can continue to care for her medically too. I feel for you NellyMac_UK hope it gets better for you
Mum to 17yr old girl with AN. Fighting hard for recovery since she was 13.
Quote

        

WTadmin