F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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krae
D will sometimes condense her food for the day prior to dinner into a 2.5 hr window. I know she just wants to get eating out of the way and I'm ok with her eating this much in that time frame as it doesn't produce anxiety for her and the food is in, in fact she prefers to do it this way.  My only concern is that there is a 4 -5 hour window until dinner and that it isn't good for her blood sugar levels. 

She is quite happy eating it all within that time frame and I let her request when she would like her snacks, lunch etc. 

Still not normal eating pattern but if this works for her and she is still gaining (yet to know this week) do I change something that is working for now or do I wait until she is wr?
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ValentinaGermania
If she manages to go through the day without meltdown WITH this gap of 4-5 hours I think she is fine with it.
But if you have severe meltdowns before or after dinner or difficulties to eat then I would rethink it.

"I let her request when she would like her snacks, lunch etc."
If that works, fine.
We had the problem that my d wanted to eat lunch at exactly 1 p.m. not 12:55, not 1:05. That was very stressy and AN related and s I forced her to accept that I am sometimes earlier done with cooking or later. No it is no problem when to eat lunch any more and we can try to make it fit into the rest of the days schedule and not have the rest fit around meal times any more.

If she is fine with a bigger gap between meals then you do not need to change that. At the beginning my d was not fine with it but now she can do well with gaps up to 5 hours (but not more as I saw yesterday ;().

You are doing great, by the way!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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krae
Thanks Tina72 she does manage well for the gap between without a meltdown. I know what you mean about the time having to be exact as my D has Time OCD, dinner has to be at a set time, and not a minute later! She has been known to totally refuse to eat at all if dinner is not at the 'correct time'. Have not allowed this to happen even if dinner has been 15-20 minutes late. Time OCD has been around since she was very young.

As she is progressing and gaining weight she is a little more relaxed with time but her OCD is still right there and anxiety surfaces when things don't go to her timeline. 

So when are you doing your world tour to visit myself in AUS and Ellesmum in the UK, and bring your beautiful D so we can all have some - Whatever is a delicious German pudding, sweet [biggrin]
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ValentinaGermania
I would SO love to do that, krae, I would love to hop on the plane THIS AFTERNOON but now we need to get through that University thing first (and she struggles a bit after week 2). I am a bit lonesome at the moment because my only left friend needs to care for her mum now who was diagnosed with cancer last week and the last time I have spoken to an adult outside my family was on MONDAY...
So yes, I promise to get on that plane sometimes in future but sadly enough am not already able to do it NOW even if it would be the best thing I can imagine to do at the moment...
I miss you all, isn´t that funny, I do not know any thing about you but feel so close to you all.
Love,
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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krae
Ronson feel happier to know my D is not the only one who can manage the gap, was starting to feel very worried about it as they do say for them to eat ever 2-3 hrs. 

Ah Tina72 so sorry to hear about your friends mother.

Sad that you are feeling lonesome, I miss you too. We all know a lot more about each other than possibly our closest, (in person) friends know about us or we know about them. They are not dealing with a life threatening illness that wants to kill their child. So it makes sense that we feel close to each other on here as there is so much support and understanding of where we are in the illness and where we need to get.

Hope you and D can get through the Uni stuff and make it work for her [smile]
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ValentinaGermania
Oh Ronson, I would LOVE to help you with the furniture [biggrin].
Yes in fact it will get easier to see all you UK people first. I hope I can make it before you close all borders for EU tourists [wink].

I try to stay confident and see it as a transition thing. She needs to work on the cafeteria thing if she wants to do that. It is in fact good that she can eat totally normal there when the others join her. I think she is just not used to eat alone any more.
I will try to ask her at least to GO to the cafeteria alone and see if there is somebody she knows next week. Hopefully she will get to know another 20 people [wink].

Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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ValentinaGermania
There are in fact 3 cafeterias and she has the meal plan of each on her cellphone and she checked what to eat before. Yesterday they served her favourite fish and she really wanted to go there but was not able to do it alone. The others went home after lecture.
I hope next week this will be better. Off to lunch now! Keep fighting, guys!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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krae
Ronson - Good luck with ikea furniture - I think that scares me more than ED!
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krae
Ther is always HOPE Ronson!
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Nicstar4
Ahhh building IKEA furniture, hope there are no missing screws! Good luck with that.
Sometimes D will go longer than I expected between meals, and be fine, other times total meltdown. We are having timing issues with meals sometimes too, and I am having to get more organized as I am a usually fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal! Glad to hear it is not just me about timing of meals.
Tina72 Sorry your good friend has had to care for her mother and will see you less. It is an isolating disease for all the family! Hope we can fill some of the gap!
Start planning that world tour in your future map, and add Sydney to your stop. Krae, where are you again??
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krae
Nicstar4 I'm in Adelaide.
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krae
Also did put info on Can't do this today - I'm nearly broken  thread re Carers Allowance for you.
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Nicstar4
Yes have just been googling carers allowance, thanks for the info. Will start application on Monday, after I finish my tax return!!
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krae
Still to do my tax!! Get to it soon - Food consumes my whole day these days.
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Torie
krae wrote:
D will sometimes condense her food for the day prior to dinner into a 2.5 hr window.


Sorry, I'm not sure I understand what is happening with the timing so my comments may not make sense.  I think it's best to eat at reasonably typical intervals and especially important to have breakfast not too long after waking up.  Personally, I would be wary of letting a strong habit set up that is contrary to this.  I would be more willing to accept a SMALL breakfast (with calories made up later) rather than no breakfast at all.  Same with snacks and lunch.  I feel a 2.5 hour window creates an unfortunate vulnerability.

Just my opinion. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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ValentinaGermania
Torie,
if I got it right the question was wether the eating intervals NEED to be every 3-4 hours or wether it is o.k. when her d has a bigger intervall of about 4-5 hours between two meals.

"Personally, I would be wary of letting a strong habit set up that is contrary to this."
That is what I think, too.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Enn
Krae,
I too am not sure I understand. Do you mean all calories for the whole day are packed into a 2.5 hour window before dinner?
If so I think that should be corrected. I agree with Torie, regarding regularly spaced meals and snacks as would be considered “normal” for most people.
If there is something I have missed please correct me.
XXX
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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mjkz
I think eating everything within a 2.5 hour period is Ed behavior and totally agree with scaredmom and Torie.  My daughter would do the same and it's just not healthy to go long periods of time without eating.  The body will stay in starvation mode if you go long periods of time without eating so her metabolism is never going to settle out with that kind of pattern.  I'm really sorry to rain on this parade but I think it is an issue you need to address.
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HopeNZ
Hi there

I agree with those above who recommend working to spread food intake throughout the day, for several reasons.

We know that a negative energy balance is dangerous for our ED kids. As they are burning calories throughout the day, it makes sense to me for them to be consuming calories throughout the day, to avoid an energy deficit and all those abnormal neurological and hormonal processes which kick in then and perpetuate the ED.

Our ultimate goal is to help our ED kids reestablish - as far as may be possible - a near-normal relationship with food. To me this also means also being able to eat with others at socially appropriate times (eventually).

Thankfully we have not had to deal with purging, but from what I read here I understand that steady intake of food throughout the day is important to avoid the temptation to binge and purge. Perhaps others with more knowledge of this will weigh in here.
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