F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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It’s our first Christmas with ED and normally I love this time of year.
I’m hearing all the Christmas music and feel bereaved .
How do you cope with it?
I don’t even think she’l be home anyway
Sorry for being sad
Hey Pingu, I feel similar, I've always been Christmas crazy and I'm very apprehensive this year. No idea how it will be.  It's a few more weeks yet and D is recovery eating but things could still go awry. 
I found it hard to celebrate anything when D was really ill. I was just trying to get through the days, weeks etc. It is ok to be sad. It is a sad time when our loved ones are ill and not with us. But remember, it is not forever, there are better days ahead. And then when there is a holiday, it will be  much sweeter, knowing what you have been through.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
I think it’s all the Christmas music I’m the supermarkets and the adverts
I love Christmas but can’t muster any enthusiam
Same! We (usually) love all the Christmas baking and making and I've usually made the Christmas cakes by now but this year?!? Let's pin our hopes on next year???

Even worse for you Pingu if your daughter is not even home. Really grim. What a crummy illness ...😱


I'm sure it's because we all know how Christmas 'ought' to be and so feel the loss that more keenly. With you all on that front.

Last year my D was able to come home from IP for Christmas day. We allowed her to 'eat' with her sister in the other room while we say with the Grandparents. We'd prepped them and they were quite understanding. However, after we played low-key games and so it wasn't all grim....I'd asked my ED d in the week leading up to create a game of Christmas song/carol charades and she did get a kick out of seeing her Gparents acting out her game.
Also we did some Christmas crafts together instead of Christmas food. Baubles they can decorate which you can put on the tree etc.. We're having a Christmas buffet, non-traditional food, sit anywhere this year to take the pressure off. I've decided if I'm hosting, I get to decide what we do. There's enough pressure year round as it is.

Here's to making it what you want or postponing the main celebration to better times. Who says you can't have it in August, complete with tree?? xx

I know how hard this Christmas music and these happy people all around feel in the dark days.
2 years ago we had that Christmas that you have now. No cookies, no fun, no present. Just a bony sad d sitting around.

Last year she was 6 months WR and we did some bakery together again and she ate the cookies. I had to plate them, but she ate.
We had a quite normal Christmas again. And I am sure it will be even better this year.

So just try to get through it this year. If you cannot stand all the celebration stuff just leave it and do something normal on these days. No critical things with food. Just a small present or something you can do together. Not too many people.

Think about it as if the whole family would have the flue on Christmas. These things happen. There will be Christmas next year again.

Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
I love the way you think of it Tina. Just pretend everyone has the flu. Smart idea.
Yes, Christmas with ED still an unwelcome guest is so sad. Especially since so many of the festivities revolve around food! That first Christmas we found it helpful to put our usual traditions on hold and have a totally different Christmas Day - up early and out for a drive instead of opening prezzies, picnic at a beach rather than our usual sit down meal, a movie night snuggled up on the sofa rather than spending time with family. That way it wasn’t so obvious that things were so difficult, and my non-ED son still had fun.

Pingu, if you’re without your d on Christmas Day can you plan something to keep you busy and distracted? Can you invite yourself along to a friend’s for the day?!

Unfortunately it’s really just a case of grinning and bearing it. And knowing that next Christmas will be better 😊
HopeNZ wrote:
Unfortunately it’s really just a case of grinning and bearing it. And knowing that next Christmas will be better 😊

Once you're done with the horrible times, there is a silver lining in this.  It is SOOO wonderful having your kid back for Christmas that it brings tears to your eyes.  All the little things you wonder if you and your kid will ever enjoy again really do come back, and are that much more special for all the pain and uncertainty.  So hang in there everyone, and keep feeding!   There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.  xx

"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
I felt sad the other day when my sister sent me gingerbread houses for each of my children to decorate. Then I thought, I know my youngest would just love to eat d’s gingerbread house as well as his, so someone will be happy!
It is a bit easier in the heat in Australia , not to have too much focus on the food. I feel sad still though. But will focus on decorating the tree, gingerbread house, looking at shops special window displays and just trying to see how it goes.
I have already talked about a menu plan at Christmas just like we are trying to do weekly now.
We should have a festive thread here during dec!