F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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cm72
Hey there. So we are finally getting at a good stage with our D. Still a long ways to go but things are much better. My question is about me now. I am having lots of adrenaline rushes where my heart races, nausea and shakiness. It could be stress, it could be adrenal or could be just plain old peri menopause (yup, my life is so fun right now!). I’m having some medical work ups just to make sure but I’m really thinking all the stress of the past six months screwed up my body good. Can you all share your stories of healing YOUR self.
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scaredmom
Cm72,
There is a recent thread by needhelp that is just for ptsd, not sure if it may help.

I did need counseling in the aftermath of refeeding. I tried some EMDR and felt it useful.
i now have focussed more on my needs and do nice things for myself regularly. Dancing, live comedy shows, exercise, books spa days, naps (luxurious day time naps! 😊) Book them in advance so that there is something to look forward to.

Some have needed meds too. I tried but had some side effects. I am glad you are getting a medical work up.
Some have found physical medical conditions too like anemia, thyroid issues and other things. 
I am not healed, for sure, but I am on my way. Just like ED one day and one fun thing at a time. 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Frazzled
Cm72 very glad your D is doing better! I went to counseling a few times and that helped. Meds did not work for me at all. Meds made everything worse for me. I rest whenever I can. I feel very rundown after months of intense refeeding. I started running and kickboxing again when I can for stress relief (outside of the home) I also read a lot. Massages, get your hair done, girls night out or couples night out etc. Anything that helps you to feel better and helps you to start feeling like yourself again. We seem to lose ourselves a bit during this process. 
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cm72
All of the things you are saying sound like bliss. I definitely need to listen to my body and let it heal as it's been through the ringer! I hope everyone out there is doing the same.
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Mcmum
Hey cm72! Good to hear that your d is getting better.  I have recently started jogging after abandoning all exercise for the sake of sitting on the sofa and eating with my s.  I'm really rubbish at it but feel like i'm staving off the worst of middle age (just had a big birthday 😞). Also take meds which i've decided make me easier to live with !! Have started being a bit more forgiving of myself too. It's a great illness for beating yourself up.
Do take care of yourself in whatever way works. We have to be so strong for our family - the foundations need some tlc sometimes too!!
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tina72
Have a nap, a bath, meet a friend, do something nice and relaxing for yourself. You have survived a war zone and that is what your body did and he needs care now. It gets better but you need to listen. Last thing you need now is that you break down...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ellesmum
I’m at a similar life stage to you and I’ve only just acknowledged the hormonal effects of peri on me, we get so used to being last on the list don’t we. I got myself some menopause support vitamins. 

I needed a couple of days staring at the wall to kind of come to terms with the last few months. I felt panicky, shaky and my mind was churning everything over so while d was at school I just sat and allowed all those feelings to come and then I felt calmer.   I realised I was self medicating (just a couple of drinks most evenings) but not this week, it really doesn’t help with sleep or escape. 

Im trying to concentrate on sleep and my own nutrition now, and I plan to take up a hobby just for me now we seem to be in a better place.  I also need to fit in a daily walk to clear my head.
Ellesmum
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kazi67
Hi cm72
its really really important to take care of yourself!!
after the initial 6 month feeding frenzy
i didn’t  make time for myself really, I was running on adrenaline plus I couldn’t seem to find the time, if and when I did, my self care consisted of lying in bed not sleeping tho just lying down 
so to start I just had to rest, rest, rest whenever I could 
most weekends I was in bed 
once my was admitted into IP I still found it hard to sleep and driving back and forth to see her every day which could be a 3/4 hour round trip, I just couldn’t switch off
luckily I had time off my job
her 2nd IP stay I fell to pieces, I felt the mat had been pulled from under my feet, the monster was back and had tricked me again 

I cried uncontrollably and couldn’t get out of bed or the house I couldn’t even visit her In hospital I just cried uncontrollably 
Her AN had been going on for 18 months 
I had burnt out
this forced me into self care (but I highly recommend you start self care before you get to this point!!!)
i wasn’t sleeping either at the point 

i rang a councillor  who has helped me so much and I highly recommend to do this
I started with simple breathing exersize and meditation each day (as d was IP for 6 weeks at this stage it was easier for me to find time to do this)
i started to consciously really listen to music, feel the beat, really listen to the lyrics and the instruments
taking notice of nature and sitting and consciously looking at one object be it nature or a photo or something in your home (a plant) for 5-10 minutes with no distractions
drawing or colouring or any other craft you may like
reading 
eat well and a little exersize (swimming),or a nice walk at the beach/park or stretching each day 
Time with pets puppy/pet therapy (our 2 adorable puppies make me laugh everyday 
catch up and cuppa with friends 
just sitting with a cuppa listening to the birds sing
Not looking back only forward but only 1 or 2 days at a time on a really bad day only on meal at a time 

I tried so hard did all of the above and still found it difficult to sleep or think straight 
I hate it but I am now on meds to sleep and an antidepressant 
but I feel better so sometimes you just need that extra help
we value the simple things in life now and I totally don’t worry about being judged or my d being judged(although it is still very difficult for me to see her friends carrying on with their life goals and dreams) and she is still recovering, but I remind myself they haven’t had a life threatening  illness
My d is so much better now and it warms my heart so much ❤️
good luck and keep feeding 
food as we all know is truly the medicine!
x
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debra18
Adult coloring anytime I start to feel anxious.
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tina72
"we value the simple things in life now and I totally don’t worry about being judged or my d being judged(although it is still very difficult for me to see her friends carrying on with their life goals and dreams) and she is still recovering, but I remind myself they haven’t had a life threatening  illness"

That is so true. My aims and goals changed. We know now what it means to nearly lose a loved one and that health is the most important thing in life and that nothing else matters when you fight for the life of your child.
Your d will carry on with these dreams too. I am very sure about that. It takes a bit longer and it is a bit more bumpy road but the direction is the same. She owes that all to you. And although we feel we are done and exhausted we also feel a great power in us that we never expected to have.
You have saved your ds life. YOU have done that, kazi67, no one else. You can be SO PROUD of that!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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cm72
McMum-Good for you to take up jogging. I am too lazy. Walking my dogs a mile a day is good enough for me. 🙂
Tina72-Baths are a lifesaver. That and my peppermint tea. I am drinking that by the gallons as it calms my stomach.
Ellesmom-Sounds like we are in the exact same boat. Double stressors: kid and hormones. Do take care of yourself.
kazi67-I am so happy to hear your d is much better. Meditation is wonderful. I am part of a weekly meditation group and it's nice to have the mind be still for even five minutes. I would love to start doing daily. I need to work on that!
debra18-I've heard lots of people rave about adult coloring books. I should try one.
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