F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Bobs

Don’t mean to be flippant but honestly I think she could make money with her sleight of hand.
D says she wants to clean her room from now on as I have so
much to do etc etc. I was quite happy to let her as I don’t want to find dirgy writings and artwork.

In her room today gathering up laundry and look closely in a drawer to find underneath the tights bundles of wrapped up food. Days/weeks of it all mushy and going off including the biscuit bars that supposedly are supervised at school...aaarrggghhh!! 

Just having a rant before I pick her up from school....

15 year old D. Started to feel low summer 2019. Fall out with friends October 2019. Depressed, self-harming and suicidal from January 2020. Diagnosed with AN July 2020. Slowly coming out of it and feeling hopeful for the future.
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Torie
Feedback not failure ...  xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Enn

Yes they are very crafty! My d threw her drinks out almost right in front of my face.
So now you know, no food in her room again! 

We all learn through these challenges and it will make you a stronger ED opponent! 

I know it feels terrible, but now you won’t let it happen again. There is a bright side to this EDucation. 😊

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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MKR
Yep, magicians!

From time to time I have my daughter bring out ALL the food from her room, no questions asked, except if it's not done within 10 minutes, she will not be able to do XYZ/ go to XYZ.

Hard to keep a calm face when out comes more than I had hoped, I know. 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Foodsupport_AUS
A yes the hoard of rotting food. I was also amazed at how much she managed to hide. I always think it strange they don't try to dispose of it - but I guess it is a part of the eating disorder as well.  

Feedback not failure. More supervision at school. More monitoring at home. It seemingly never ends, but it does. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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sandie
@Foodsupport_AUS 
I never thought of that as being a feature of ED. That they hoard rather than dispose of . Is that a common feature- i mean i know it is common but is it characteristic of ED and has there been any research into why?
Courage is not the absence of despair; it is rather the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair
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Foodsupport_AUS
@sandie as to why I don't think it is clear but it is definitely a common thing. https://www.edreferral.com/blog/possible-links-between-hoarding-and-eating-disorders-common-traits-and-symptoms-and-the-association-with-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-51  and https://tabithafarrar.com/2018/05/brain-malnutrition-hoarding/
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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sandie
Thanks for links. That is interesting hypothesis of fear of scarcity. Altho hoarding tinned food is not the same as hiding rotting food under your bed. 
Courage is not the absence of despair; it is rather the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair
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Torie
MKR wrote:
From time to time I have my daughter bring out ALL the food from her room, no questions asked, except if it's not done within 10 minutes, she will not be able to do XYZ/ go to XYZ.

Excellent idea, that! xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Bobs

Thanks everyone again for your words of wisdom. I’m kinda glad to hear it is an ED “thing”. I couldn’t get my head around it yesterday why she would hoard it all in her room rather than dump it outside in the bin. Also why would she not bin the chocolate bar in school that she has managed to sneakily not eat rather than bring it home and hide it in a drawer. I
I said to her surely it’s not nice to sleep beside rotting food and she agreed so maybe it’s some sort of punishment or achievement. The mind boggles! 

Upping the ante again with regard to supervision. No hoodies, pockets etc while eating. Sitting between me and her dad while eating supper in the living room etc. 

She says it started when we upped her meal plan due to her losing weight. Subsequently we found out that she had been losing the weight as no food was been eaten at school. We closed that loop in part by me supervising all lunches but kept the increased meal plan going as we finally started to see some results. She now is heavier than she has ever been and very close to the weight CAHMs wants her to be at. This is very obviously freaking her ED brain out and causing her to act in this way. She has said that she is glad I found it and feels relieved.

Sorry for the long post but it is therapeutic for me to write it down! 

15 year old D. Started to feel low summer 2019. Fall out with friends October 2019. Depressed, self-harming and suicidal from January 2020. Diagnosed with AN July 2020. Slowly coming out of it and feeling hopeful for the future.
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MKR
"She has said that she is glad I found it and feels relieved."

Similar sentiments here, relief at getting rid of it. 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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greekdude
Our S also was hiding food. And kept buying cereals and biscuit packets that he never ate.
@ValentinaGermania introduced me into the "Adapted to flee famine" hypothesis and this might explain a great part of it, according to which theory, this is not just a comorbidity OCD with AN but actually part of AN.
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ValentinaGermania
If they could use all their "skills" to make money with that they could all be very rich!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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MKR
While on the subject of swiping away, it would be good to check your child's school bag (if they use one).  My daughter is trying to use hers as a weight for her workouts. She has to carry around her laptop but she then loads it to up to 15 kg by adding in all of her textbooks at once (regardless of the subjects that day), big bags of snacks, even tins of food.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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Bobs
Flip, will keep an eye out for that MKR. I did check her bag yesterday and it was full of crumbs of course. She had to hoover it out along with the dreaded drawer...
15 year old D. Started to feel low summer 2019. Fall out with friends October 2019. Depressed, self-harming and suicidal from January 2020. Diagnosed with AN July 2020. Slowly coming out of it and feeling hopeful for the future.
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MKR
I like how she gets to clean it. Apart from instilling good habits, I think it sends a message to ED "done and dusted", even if only temporarily. 
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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ValentinaGermania
Also a good idea to check her pockets and sleeves after meals at home again...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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