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Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #751 
Thanks WM, I hope your day goes well x
So it's clear school is out of the question a while longer. They're brilliant and have lots of measures in place but she needs more time and food. Perhaps she can go in later for an hour and sit with the Pastoral Lead just to get a feel of school. Baby steps.


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Ellesmum
krae

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Reply with quote  #752 
Hi Ellesmum, I've always loved dragons! WorriedMum68, I agree that is a great analogy - but I still do believe there are 'GOOD Dragons'.

As for our girls getting to know each other - mimi is right, it could be very dangerous at this stage. I just felt very sad that your D doesn't have as much support friendship wise. As we know this is an isolating illness, especially in the early months where they isolate and distance themselves from everyone. When they are well, and if they wish to talk to someone (who they may never meet in person) who has been through what they have been through with this debilitating illness I think that is probably the time to connect.

Day went well with girlfriend, D ate everything she would normally eat and when she would normally eat, friend ate different foods and at different times apart from breakfast, both managed this extremely well. D has shown that she can eat what she needs to eat and understand that her girlfriend doesn't have the same food requirements as her. I'm so very greatful she has a couple of understanding friends.

D has gone for a sleepover at her besties tonight. Parents are totally up to date with her illness. I'll be ringing shortly to ensure she has eaten all they have provided for dinner. If she hasn't it will be a quick trip to pick her up and bring her home. I always get nervous when she's not here. In the last 5 months she has had 1 other sleepover that isn't here and that was at her besties. I don't trust or expect anyone else to be the 'food police'.
Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #753 
Morning Krae, yes it’s very hard to entrust their food to others.
Breakfast has been eaten and she’s torn between recovery and giving in to ED, it must be hard to let go of what seems to calm you. Not on my watch though.

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Ellesmum
krae

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Reply with quote  #754 
Keep going sweet, you're up for this! ED isn't allowed to win in any respect. Sending positive thoughts for recovery for D and a bath bomb [image]
kkhrd

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Reply with quote  #755 
ED showed up here over the weekend too....  Caught D dumping part of her shake and putting the container back in the fridge!! ....as if I wouldn't notice.  It upset me a lot and a blow up ensued, but really I was more sad then angry I thought that we were doing so well.  I had almost forgotten the awful language that my darling D can spew under the influence of ED!!  Her excuse, she hates the taste of the shake, makes her want to vomit.  I kind of get it since she's been drinking the same one for over a year, but we've switched it up this morning and while it isn't the traditional breakfast shake, bananas and almond butter, it is chocolate peanut butter ice cream, she drank it up willingly.  Weigh in tomorrow will tell us if she's been doing any other sneaky behaviors.  Say a prayer for us, she needs to gain at least a pound!

Best of luck to you all, I hope the sleep over goes well Krae, and things continue to improve for you Ellesmum.
Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #756 
Hi kkhrd, yes I understand the sadness more than anger.
2 steps forward and 1 step back.

Tears here, she's very conflicted

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Ellesmum
tina72

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Reply with quote  #757 
"2 steps forward and 1 step back."

That is in total 1 step forward.
Try to see it that way!

Tina72

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Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #758 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tina72
"2 steps forward and 1 step back."

That is in total 1 step forward.
Try to see it that way!

Tina72


That’s true Tina 😊

Back on track here with eating and a good mood after a tearful night.

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Ellesmum
Ronson

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Reply with quote  #759 
That’s good Ellesmum

Today is world mental health day - saying a prayer for our children and their improved mental health x
tina72

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Reply with quote  #760 
I didn´t know that, Ronson, and googled it just right now.
In Germany, there seems to be only ONE article on that in the newspapers today. https://www.handelsblatt.com/unternehmen/beruf-und-buero/the_shift/world-mental-health-day-totschweigen-und-nichtstun-verhindert-keine-suizide/14621600.html?ticket=ST-803390-RIoeOR9dddyPqcNsMfkw-ap4

As always last country that gets to know anything here...


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tina72

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Reply with quote  #761 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kkhrd
ED showed up here over the weekend too....  Caught D dumping part of her shake and putting the container back in the fridge!! ....as if I wouldn't notice.  It upset me a lot and a blow up ensued, but really I was more sad then angry I thought that we were doing so well.  ...  I kind of get it since she's been drinking the same one for over a year, but we've switched it up this morning and while it isn't the traditional breakfast shake, bananas and almond butter, it is chocolate peanut butter ice cream, she drank it up willingly.  Weigh in tomorrow will tell us if she's been doing any other sneaky behaviors.  Say a prayer for us, she needs to gain at least a pound!


So at least: ED: 0    kkhrd: 1
Try to insist in the shakes, they help a lot!
I cross all available fingers and toes for weight gain!
Tina72

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Ronson

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Reply with quote  #762 
It is in the news a lot here Tina - mainly about the crisis with young people and access to services unfortunately - but lots of celebs speaking out which raises awareness x
kkhrd

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Reply with quote  #763 
"Today is world mental health day - saying a prayer for our children and their improved mental health x"

Very cool Ronson, I will most definitely say a prayer!  

Also for those that might find it interesting yesterday was a new moon.  Which is ironic because I wasn't aware of the new moon until my day had already begun, and we had the new shake which went down in 1/4 of the time the old one goes in!!!  So I am thinking this change may be for the best!  In the morning she drinks half before she leaves the house and it is always such an awfully long and arduous process...but yesterday was a breeze!  The afternoon I think she may have even been looking forward to it, what usually take 30-40 minutes all the while me pushing her to take a sip, this time it was done before I even looked, I heard her slurping the bottom 2 minutes tops!!  I was floored!

so yes Tina72, I think definitely 1 for me!!

Everyone embrace the new moon!!

590c6-new-moon.png 

teecee

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Reply with quote  #764 
World mental health day - I will second that Ronson and say a prayer for carers mental health too as sometimes it’s tough for us to move out of the grief process stages.
Ronson

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Reply with quote  #765 
Yes agreed teecee - we grieve the child we knew and the future they deserve - hopefully it is still possible though
MamaDo

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Reply with quote  #766 
Hi all. How is everyone? Somehow I stopped receiving the notifications for new posts on this thread, so I’ve had to catch up on a week of ups and downs.

Kkhtd, glad your day had a big win, especially with your weekend. Our therapists keep saying recovery is not a linear progression. Krae, I hope you get the support you’ve applied for. Ronson, glad your holiday ended up being a gain, even with the obstacles.


Our ups - we survived thanksgiving, finishing the plate I served as well as a small piece of pie. In laws were very supportive- the upside to people who never really talk about anything important is that they pretty much avoid referring to anything serious, especially if they know about it in advance. :)

The downside is that Anxiety has taken on a new, disturbing habit - D gets anxious as she eats, panics and tries to get through it more quickly, and you can all guess how that turns out...How do you say “life stops until you eat” when she is literally vomiting all over the kitchen table? We have an appointment with the ED psychiatrist next week, but thought I’d ask you all, the real experts, if you have any suggestions? We are trying to manage anxiety before dinner, but it’s hard when there is one of us cooking and trying to get food on the table, and one taking the other D to tutoring.

Damn I hate this disease. To go back to Ellesmum’s dragon analogy, sometimes it feels like a many headed dragon - just when you’ve cut one head off, another throws you back.

Xoxo
kkhrd

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Reply with quote  #767 
Oh MamaDo, I am so sorry! I have had great success with CBD oil. I know it is difficult to get in some countries, but here in the US we can buy it online. If you can access it, it may be worth a try. It has helped when anxiety has been really high. My D would essentially flap and hop before any meal or snack, no vomiting, thankfully, but anxiety to the point of running to the toilet because the gagging was bad! It worked immediately and so well, even for me when it was really bad or I couldn’t sleep. My D would take it in gummy form because she doesn’t like the oil, but the gummy bears taste really good.
Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #768 
Oh Mamado, how awful. I guess you've tried all the usual distractions.

We had the mother of all meltdowns last night, it was awful. I must look in to CBD oil.

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Ellesmum
Ronson

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Reply with quote  #769 
I’m so sorry to hear of your d anxiety mamado. Have you considered medication - our d is now on fluoxetine and this has helped her anxiety immensely - not just around eating but lots of areas. I really hope that things improve - could you give the meal in small parts so she cannot eat too much at once? Or could meals be smaller and snacks bigger ?

It is so hard to manage with another child as well - and I felt that quite often the professionals disregarded our other d’s needs which I found hugely frustrating.

I do hope this gets better for you
Ronson

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Reply with quote  #770 
Ellesmum - I wonder if these meltdowns are extinction burst - is d near her target weight now ?
Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #771 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronson
Ellesmum - I wonder if these meltdowns are extinction burst - is d near her target weight now ?


She hasn’t been weighed for a while, I did wonder about extinction burst but I think it may be too soon, I need to read more about it. I feel so sorry for her, she must feel awful. At the same time I need to look after myself.

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Ellesmum
Ronson

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Reply with quote  #772 
We had a number of extinction bursts - may not be too soon - is she not being weighed by camhs ?
Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #773 
We haven’t seen them since assessment but next appointment is coming up. She has had a good stretch of higher calories so you may be right. I’d find it easier to deal with in daylight hours I think. I dread the evening tbh.
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Ellesmum
Ronson

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Reply with quote  #774 
Yes it def worsens in the evenings - hopefully with the increased calories her weight will be better - is she back at school ? We are off on holidays back on Monday - my d better in the routine but is doing ok. Hope you have a better day today
Ellesmum

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Reply with quote  #775 
Hi, how is everyone?

Friday night and I’m having a well deserved glass of wine after a week of highs and lows, the lows were a couple of awful meltdowns but the highs were chocolate, chips, pizza, doughnuts, ice cream, and the latest, fried food at home 😊

I continue to see glimmers of my real daughter and continue to hope. The positive voice is getting stronger but with wobbles here and there. She is beginning to call out other people’s silly advice and words rather than it set her back. This feels like a miracle, I know of course she may flare up at any moment but for now I’ll enjoy my wine. An early night as usual to avoid overtiredness.

Hope you all have a peaceful evening.

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Ellesmum
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