F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Ellesmum Show full post »
sandie
Hi Tina, please don't stop advising me. Thank you so much for your support. Big hug.
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tina72
You are all so nice. I really love you and I cannot leave you totally. The time I come around I will mostly save for this thread here.
Jojo, feel free to rant via email as much as you like to. My post box is always open for all of you. And my heart. ❤
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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kazi67
Oh Tina
Thanks from me too for all your support ❤️
Sorry if I misinterpreted anything you said to me or I have said anything to upset you if so  it was unintentional 

its been a hell of a roller coaster for us and we all just try to express our experience with the intention to help others and sorry if my msgs were any way misinterpreted by you

It’s such a tricky complicated complex illness and wether we are refeeding on our own or with professional guidance,FBT, or IP or kid is YA and no longer included in treatment but supporting our kid 150 percent

“it’s a HELLISH journey for us all!!
one foot I front of the other one day at a time

i think that’s the msg we will all agree on 100 percent 
x


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tina72
kazi67 wrote:

Sorry if I misinterpreted anything you said to me or I have said anything to upset you if so  it was unintentional


Kazi67, it is not at all your fault and you did not say anything wrong at all. My heart goes out to all those still in the bad days and I know that you sometimes do see things different and I can totally live with someone having a different opinion. I am a person who it is very hard to get into an argue.
Please believe that you did not say anything that made me upset. It is not because of you, not at all. Sometimes it is a drop that brings the barrel to overfloaw. It is a long history with some posts I do not want to support here on ATDT. But not yours.



We cannot fix it all with food, you are correct with that, but we also cannot fix it all with love. And if we say this is a place to vent here we must accept that people come to rant. And if people want more communication here in this thread this must be o.k. and they should not be critized for that. Some of us are really isolated in real life. And it must be o.k. to say "I am at my end and do not know how to continue to love that kid and I cannot accept her behaviour" without telling them just "you need to seperate ED and child and you need to show love and compassion". Mine did not allow me to show love and compassion (although I did) but she allowed me to be "general food" and be in charge.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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kazi67
I’m confused but I think you are referring to my post about separating the ED by writing it down? 
This was suggested to me by my therapist who said it may help me  and I simply shared that idea, as we know, what works for one may not work for another 
nothing is guaranteed but just thought I’d share incase it did in fact help (no harm in trying)
i definately know what it feels like to feel alone with this illness as my d team keeps me out of treatment (my d choice) so I guess that’s the reason I come to the forum to get ideas or share what has worked in our case 
You can take it or leave it
my d also sometimes couldn’t show love and compassion (I’m pretty sure it was the ED stopping her) as she was always a loving child/YA before becoming ill 
by writing it down and seeing the written print made me see it was the ED not her
anyway I think I’m repeating myself now

keep feeding everyone!!
Food is the medicine 
❤️



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tina72
Now I am confused, kazi 🙂
NO, I did not refer to any post of you.
It was just a general explaination of what I am a bit sick of at the moment.
It has really nothing to do with you. Really. 😍

It was my fault, I should have posted this part in another post and not as reply to yours. I tried to make that clear with a bigger gap in between now,
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ellesmum
Lots of confusion I see 😀 

If you do take a break Tina, I’d like to keep in touch if that’s okay ? 

Its been a good weekend, the local event went better than I could have hoped, so different from last year. She’s been so busy so I’m expecting a very tired girl later but it’s such a relief to see her in the thick of things again. 
Ellesmum
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tina72
Ellesmum wrote:
Lots of confusion I see 😀 

If you do take a break Tina, I’d like to keep in touch if that’s okay ? 

Its been a good weekend, the local event went better than I could have hoped, so different from last year. She’s been so busy so I’m expecting a very tired girl later but it’s such a relief to see her in the thick of things again. 


So great that you had a good time there. You can contact me privatly, if you want, I would really appreciate to keep in touch with you all. My email postbox waits for you.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ellesmum
She’s very tired now after a full and fun weekend but I’m so glad it went well and there’s even a potential romance.

How is your d? Did she come home over the weekend?
Ellesmum
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kkhrd
Jojo what a beautiful and honest moment with your daughter, and no ED in sight!  That is a fantastic gold star.  You will have more of those!❤️

Ellesmum, so happy the town event went well, and teen romance is always so sweet!  Love that she is enjoying the normal stuff!!

Things are good here too, D applied and got accepted for a summer job that she is excited about...  ironically working in a bakery😂 she has final exams this week and is a bit stressed out, but summer vacation is just 4 days away for her.  She also has a few admirers which she isn’t interested in, but a nice confidence booster for sure.  D continues to look skinny to me and has my anxiety peaked, but we have a weigh in on Wednesday so fingers crossed she’s just grown a bit. 
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tina72
Jojo2271 wrote:

And five minutes from IP unit she suddenly said 'I am sorry I am not doing better at home mummy'
Cue tears from me and as calmly as I could manage I stressed that I was so proud of her, loved her and that I felt she was doing brilliantly at home. 
Managed to get in how much we all love her, how we are never giving up, that I don't care if I spend months or years coaching her through meals, because I am not letting anorexia steal her amazing life... 

While heart wrenching she feels she is failing it was a major moment for her, as she has mostly refused to discuss her feelings , refuses to ask for help, say she is struggling etc. 
A gold star 🌟 in a wierd way moment 


Jojo, that is really a gold star moment, I´m glad that I just popped in or I would have missed that. Definitivly progress. And you got the food in!!!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Ellesmum
Yes it is great jojjo, brilliant. 
Good to hear from you kkhrd, glad things are going well.

So,  I realised this thread has been running almost a year and through it I’ve received some fantastic help and support and made what feels like real friendships. We’ve celebrated, commiserated, swapped ideas, moaned and cheered.   

Ive recently become more involved in social media support groups and I help moderate one, I’ve been asked to get involved in a few things which I want to explore further.  I think I’m also going to take a bit of a break from the forum for a while, I am very happy to be contacted by email by anyone l  I did send you a message Jojo, I’m not sure if you got it, and you Krae my Aussie twin.

I will also continue to keep an eye out for any struggling parent and send them here. . 

Thank you sincerely xxx 
Ellesmum
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