F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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I haven't posted since my D 18 (RAN/Orthorexia since 2018) left for residential treatment in May. She went to residential because after restoring weight through modified FBT, she started again to restrict her diet to the point where she would only eat grilled chicken and vegetables, was hiding food, throwing food away, lying, etc. Her first days in residential were extremely tough. Her first therapist left after 4 weeks and she didn't click with the second one. But she did click with the dietitian who worked really hard to help D expand her food choices. D. actually developed some positive peer relationships in treatment which has been encouraging because she had been isolating for so long that she had only one friend and her twin sister left. The whole family was quite anxious about having her home and wondering what challenges we would face. The first days were tenuous as her PHP didn't start until after the long weekend. I am very happy to report that she has willingly (not always happily) been eating her three meals and three snacks each day. Her hunger terrifies her and no one can tell her "good job" or "I'm proud of you" because it makes her want to restrict badly. But I can tell all of you she is doing a great job and I am so proud of her! She likes the PHP (10:30 to 4 each day) for the most part and has filled her wall with motivational post-it notes. Meal prep is an anxious time, but she is pushing through. I had to blind weigh her today for her PHP dietitian and her weight is creeping up. It was my birthday yesterday and D ate take-out food and had a small piece of birthday cake! Best b-day present ever. She even had her night snack in spite of eating the cake earlier. Glad to be able to share some hopeful news this time!
Happy birthday 🎂 and great to hear you celebrated it with your daughter.

You mentioned meal preparation... by you or your daughter? It sounds like she could hold it off for a while until she eats more confidently first.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
D started prepping her meals and snacks except dinner in residential -- and wants to keep doing it. We are monitoring it and the PHP makes them show their plates before and after meals. I know she could still restrict and she has been telling us when she is having the urge or anxiety. She is more motivated than I have seen her before. She had extreme reactions when one of the others in treatment had to go on bed rest or move to inpatient. It was scary for her to be reminded of where she was just over a year ago. She said she never wants to go back unless she's running the place because she saw so many flaws in their system. She encouraged her peers with the mantra "food is your medicine" and was surprised staff failed to do the same. I'm watching with my momma bear eyes!

@HopeE I am very touched by your update. It really is moving forward for her! I am really feeling happy for you. 

The birthday cake part made me choke up a bit. It was my d’s birthday a few weeks after her IP admission and I was so worried about it, and then when she had the cake it filled me with joy and relief and gratitude. It was overwhelming so I can just imagine how you felt. You passed the joy through the internet to me too! Thank you.
I am so pleased for you! So happy she is liking her program and moving forward and away from ED.

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
It is wonderful to hear of all these positives. So many great signs that she is putting in the work to get to recovery. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
I'm so glad for you an her! Wonderful birthday present for you indeed! Congratulations!
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
Thanks to all for kind words. Kind words from people who really understand what you're going through are even better💙
Great hopeful post!
Yes best present ever!! eating cake 🎂