F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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joanne34 Show full post »
joanne34
It just seems a lot worse now and that she is now attempting to dig her heels in.   She has just texted me saying she doesn't want to eat and doesn't want to change.  She was a completely different person this morning - just really shut off.  I'm not sure she'll be able to go to school next week and I don't think she is now able to cope with the pressure of being made to eat - especially now we will be introducing lunch supervision.  Although, in the holidays she was fine with three supervised meals a day at home. This is now tearing me apart and I am constantly worried about her.
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ValentinaGermania
This too will pass. Try to stay confident and show her that YOU trust the process and then she can do that too.
Try to fake that you believe that this all will get well next week. And then give her some days to get used to it. And if all goes worse you can go to plan B and leave her at home for some time x.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Enn

Joanne34,
I am not sure if this helps. THIS. IS. NORMAL. 
It helped me to know this was supposed to happen. She knows you will not back down. I think it is great that she is telling you!

Ensuring she eats all her nutrition is a kindness, you will not be forcing her to eat. We all faced resistance it is part and parcel of the ED. The only way out is through. I think you are really doing well, REALLY!!

IT take time to learn how to deal with the ED in your home. Give it a few weeks of good supervision to learn how to get her to eat. 

When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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Torie
Some kind soul reminded me to take it one day at a time, and try not to look forward to next week or even tomorrow.  Just today is enough.

You're making good progress, despite the bumps in the road.  They too shall pass. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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joanne34
Thank you.  Last night was quite hard but she did eat her tea.  After the usual guilt and anger kicked in but that did pass.  Later on she seemed a bit better/more accessible had a really long chat and it felt like we'd made a very tiny step forwards.  This morning she was still less shut off and had her breakfast.  She is STILL trying to negotiate her meals but I know that at the moment  bless her that is all she can think about and is part and parcel of the condition. At least it is the weekend!
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Torie
Good job.  Each day crossed off is a day closer to getting your d back. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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ValentinaGermania
Maybe it helps to colour your diary/calendar to see the progress. We coloured bad ED days red, normal ED days yellow and good days green.
Do not let your d see that because she may feel guilty about it. It is only for you. It helped us to see the tiny steps of progress and go against our feeling that felt "stuck". We often thought it was a bad week and looking back we saw it was better than the last one...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Torie
Good idea, ValentinaGermania xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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joanne34
Thank you, I will give the calendar idea a try as it may help put each day into perspective xx
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Joe
Go onto YouTube and search Eva Musby. She does amazing videos on how to get them to eat, no logic works, it's all based on trust. She will dig her heels in, it's sadly normal. You have to remember that she has this evil voice in her head constantly telling her she's not worthy of food or love and she's trying to appease that voice. There's an amazing group on Facebook called international eating disorder family support, where there are excellent resources on everything you need to know and then some! You CAN do this! It's a long and very bumpy road, but you'll get there... Have you asked CAMHS about a possible prescription for Fortisip? I'd question it, as it's a HUGE calorie boost when they're struggling, and initially you just have to get those calories, especially fats, into her to heal her brain... Wishing you love and strength... Xx
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Enn
Eva Musby's site
Kelty Eating disorders:  Great videos on that site

Sending support and kind thoughts.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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joanne34
Thank you I'll  check them out. xxx
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PurpleRain
I did the coloured calendar that VG suggests and it did help.
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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