F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

VC

Hi everyone. So helpful to be able to ask questions here. Feeling very lonely in this process. 

Does anyone have suggestions about target BMI to reach during refeeding. I have been given one number by hospital and one by therapist. Curious to hear others views. 

Quote
Enn
Well it is very individual. 
Normally you try to get to the percentile weight that the child was on prior to ED  (Ie maybe 2-3 years before you picked ED up) And this should be re evaulated regularly as kids grow
Here is a thread that you may find helpful.

https://www.aroundthedinnertable.org/post/determining-target-weights-10407532?pid=1310599816
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
Torie
VC wrote:
I have been given one number by hospital and one by therapist. Curious to hear others views. 

I would pretty much bet my house that she will need the higher number just because SO MANY here have been given targets that are too low.  I can't think of anyone who was given a target that was higher than needed.

You can plot her historic curve on mygrowthcharts.com to get an idea what is normal for her.  Please keep in mind that it is normal, expected, and necessary for them to gain a little weight each year through the young adult years as organs mature and bones increase in density.  I HATED telling my d that at the time, but afterwards, I was glad I had made that clear from early on so it didn't come as a shock later on. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Quote
MKR
I would always aim for the higher of the two numbers, especially as these things are fluid. Just as you think you got there, the child shoots up, making the BMI lower. Not to mention the bones get denser and muscles build, too.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
Quote
ValentinaGermania
I personally would not aim for any number but feed them until you see signs of recovery. Some do recover on a weight that was before AN started and many recover on a slightly higher weight with a buffer. State, not weight. Refeed until you see they are normal again. And then keep holding that state for a LONG time...
And do NOT tell your d any number. What ever number you chose, it can we a wrong one and then you get problems...
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
PurpleRain
I totally agree with @ValentinaGermania says. We fed, fed, fed D. I had an image of how D looked when healthy and I know how she behaves when healthy, so we just kept feeding. She overshoot a bit, I kept feeding, she stopped gaining, maintained (the growth curve), the weight redistributed, I kept feeding. We are almost 9 months WR, D still has a fortified shake (with HWC, canola oil, nuts, honey,etc) every morning, 3 meals, 2 snacks (she very rarely had 3). D is maintaining her growth curve but she still needs a lot of food and calories to do that. 
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
Quote
Torie
Good point, VG!  I would like to rephrase my previous post to say I would pretty much bet my house that the lower BMI estimate is too low.  About the higher one ...  I have no way to guess if that would be enough or not.  Many times we receive "targets" that are too low ... from multiple unrelated sources. xx

-Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
Quote

        

WTadmin