F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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drofla
We have homework from our clinic and I can’t think of anything that would be beneficial to keeping an eating disorder alive. 

Their example is: “It is easier to blame the eating disorder for behaviours than consider other reasons for them.

Next column: Strategies to Challenge This:
Consider how a parent who does not have experience with an eating disorder might view these behaviours 

Any ideas?
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Enn
Hi there I don’t think I fully understand the question. 
Are they suggesting that as parents of ED we blame ED all the time on normal childhood behaviours? Do they wish ED parents to see the behaviours in the context on not having ED? 
Thanks for clarifying.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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ValentinaGermania
I think this is really a strange homework...
There are NO benefits to keep an eating disorder alive
this sounds like they think someone choses to have an ED!
And it sounds like they are searching for underlying issues!
Would they give you the same homework if your d had cancer or diabetes?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Foodsupport_AUS
It is unusual homework as most parents can only think of getting the eating disorder out of the door as soon as possible. That being said eating disorders are commonly egosyntonic illnesses. That is the person with the eating disorder often strongly identifies with the disorder.  Part of the work of FBT is to separate the child from the disorder. I wonder if they are asking about what secondary gains either your child may get from her eating disorder, and if there is anything that the family may be doing that is inadvertently supporting the eating disorder. Please note this is not about blaming anyone. This is more along the lines of how sometimes someone trying to get better sabotages their own recovery (common) and how sometimes we as parents inadvertently are not helping at all. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Caz
Could they mean not eating in order to elicit care? Our d was accused of this after a year of therapy (no evidence to support this, plenty to support the opposite).

Also changing behaviour as they identify with the eating disorder and don't want to give it up. We were told our d identifies strongly with anorexia as she "wore leggings to display her low weight". (The therapist forgot to say d also wore tops 3 sizes too big down to her knees as she felt fat and ugly and had worn leggings for the past 10 years as they're comfortable.)

While this might be a valid question, be careful, a lot of victim blaming goes on in the mental health world.
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debra18
Maybe that it relieves anxiety and feels pleasurable?
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ValentinaGermania
Your d was accused to seek for attention, do I get that right? Is that what you mean with "not eating in order to elicit care"?

ALL AN patients wear leggings because no other pants fit any more...

"a lot of victim blaming goes on in the mental health world"

That is sad but true and a lot of parent blaming too but in a specialised ED unit (I hope that is where your d is) that should NOT be the case in 2019!

My d had a lot of ED behaviour she did not want to give up because she was scared of not having these boundaries any more. I can tell you she gave up most of it (about 90%) after weight restoration and we work on the last few habits. Most ED patients have OCD before or with ED and that is an additional topic but nothing she should be blamed for.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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kazi67
I’m finding the question a bit confusing
but the way I read it is like this
before we know what we are actually dealing with (early days of ED behaviours)
so for example:

the “healthy eating” cutting out sugars and junk food was viewed by us as “guess it’s good she is being mindful of her health “

the over exersizing was viewed as “she is so passionate about her dance, soccer, swimming .......or whatever physical activity your kid is doing

social anxieties/ generally anxious = after a bullying experience I believed my d struggled to socialise 

cooking amazing deserts for the family, becoming obsessed with photographing meals and the presentation of foods in certain bowls weird food related behaviour (looking back) 
we viewed this as finally an interest in cooking as d has never shown an interest in the kitchen and meal preparation before 

so in effect we blamed all the reasons for the behaviours on health conscious reasons and anxiety issues instead of the ED

if at that point we realised it was AN knocking at the door perhaps we would of reacted differently and stopped the AN from becoming more serious??

Im not sure if this is what your clinic is asking though because why on earth would anyone want to keep the ED alive or the  benefits of doing that

maybe you should ask them for clarification
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