F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Need to talk with another parent? F.E.A.S.T. parents offer peer support via:

strawdog Show full post »
Foodsupport_AUS
Torie wrote:
I found it was best not to ask questions, because I knew I couldn't believe the words that came out of my d's mouth.  ED makes them lie, and then our real kids are left with the guilt and shame of that.


@Torie I couldn't agree more. I found it easiest not to give room for ED to feel the need to lie. My D is generally as honest as they come but ED has made her do all sorts of things that she would not have done otherwise. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Quote
Hendrixt
The eating disorder section of CAMHS  has gone through a lot of changes over the last five years and from what I hear things are better than they what they used to be but not quite there yet. The changes were instigated after a government report  in 2014 found that too many children and young people were dying from anorexia. On the back of that report the community eating disorder services, under CAMHS were set up across the country - they are all supposed to be in place by 2020. The trouble is that these services’ main objective is to reduce the number of hospital admissions for anorexia. So this means that the service is very good at crisis point, getting patients to weight restored, thereby avoiding a hospital admission, but sadly after that the experience across the country is that the involvement of CAMHS tails off just as the patient is ready to move to the next stages of full recovery. 

I recently saw a report for CAMHS  in my local region showing the performance of the community eating disorder service.  The performance indicators were based around the reduction of hospital admissions for eating disorders. There was no performance indicator for full recovery so it seems the service is judged on its ability to keep patients out of hospital but not on its ability to get patients to full recovery.  This could be one explanation why so many people feel that they are being pushed to discharge at, and in many cases just before, weight recovery. 

I think weight recovery is only the very first stage of full recovery and that in most patients there is still a lot of work to be done as in our D who is also at weight recovered and being pushed towards discharge 

Dr Sarah Ravin sent me this - I will be using this snd other research to push back against CAMHS attempt to push us out of the service 

“The cognitive and emotional symptoms of anorexia nervosa, including anxiety and depression, often persist for 6-12 months after weight restoration.  This is because the brain is a complex organ and it takes time to repair itself following the trauma of malnutrition.   So if your daughter has been fully weight restored for less than a year, it is likely that her brain is still in the process of healing, which could explain the continued anxiety.”
Quote
PurpleRain
Hi strawdog! 
We are in a similar timeline although my daughter is younger (14 now, 13 when we realized something was wrong), she also started "dieting" after Christmas "overeating" and we realized something was seriously wrong in February. She has been doing great but like your D she doesn't snack spontaneously nor has seconds. Because she is younger I have no intention of given control back for a long while. I allow her to choose between 2 or 3 appropriate snacks sometimes and she can order in a restaurant, sometimes I have to tell her to have something extra. This is easier in our case because she is younger and also because we are doing it on our own. Where we live professional help is not really up to date so this forum is my support. We weight her at the pediatrician (no GP in our system) and I contacted another  pediatricianthrough FEAST that lives in my country but far away from my city. We keep in touch via Watts app and I can call her if need be. She is an specialist in ED and FBT and is a god send. I'm going for complete recovery so for me is really important that my girl eats everything she used to eat and some more, because as you grow up is normal to try new things, you may like them or not but is normal to explore. For example today we went to eat sushi, she said she doesn't like salmon, she never has. I don't actually remember if that's true, however I think is something that younger kids don't usually enjoy but as grown ups must people like, so  I asked  her to  try it,  tryshe did it, didn't love it, didn't hate it but she ate it. I still have a couple of things in the list (burger, salami, something else I can't remember right now).
So I would say find the way to get back control, give her chocolate often as Tina says, maybe make a list of other foods that need to get back on the menu, get the weight on (my girl has a nice cushion at the moment, in case she has some growing up to do).
You are doing great, keep us posted
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
Quote

        

WTadmin