F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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mnmomUSA

I really shouldn't complain, because life is mostly good.  However, D  had a follow up appointment with her therapist today, and in 5 weeks time, she has lost nearly 5 pounds.  :-(  For her, that is totally not good.  I was not surprised as her eating has been a struggle during this time, and her mood has been crap.  Weight and mood are directly correlated.  Between the weight she lost the last month, and the two pounds she lost "slowly" over the prior 3 months , and the fact that she SHOULD be gaining weight all along (gradually) she is now 10 pounds below ideal body weight for her.  Ugh.  (she is still WELL above where we started when this saga began, so it's not all gloom and doom).

 

So frustrated!!!!!  When will this end?!?!  So tired of being the food police, but I will strap on my  "food police" gear and go right back at refeeding with a vengeance.  The good news is I *KNOW* how to do this.  After dropping her at school, I went straight to the school nurse to arrange for me to eat lunch with her in the nurse's office (which we will start when school resumes after break).  D is so excited about this.  Not.  I don't particularly care.  If she can't eat without direct supervision, I will directly supervise.  The nurse is also willing to supervise (she was very nice...nurses are fantastic!) so direct supervision by me will probably only last a couple of days, then a couple more with the nurse, then back to being on her own (depending on weight gain).

After that, I stopped at Target for a 1/2 gallon of heavy whipping cream, which will be added to everything I can.  And, then to GNC to buy the highest calorie nutritional supplements I could find...found an awesome one that can turn a 10 oz glass of whole milk into a 1000 calories.  :-D  Take that anorexia!

 

Beyond that, we will re-institute the timer with all meals/snacks.  30 minutes for a meal, 20 minutes for a snack.  If she fails to complete a meal in the allotted time, she automatically gets BoostPlus at least equivalent to what is left on her plate.  350 calories or less equals one BoostPlus, more than that equals two.  Laid in a good supply at Target when I got the heavy whipping cream

 

And, if she fails to gain at least two pounds by January 5th (our next appointment), she will have to withdraw from the play she is currently cast in, AND withdraw from the musical theater program.  She is so not happy with either of these, but I want her MOTIVATED to get that weight back on.

 

I'm ready to to this, but sad that i have to.  Hopefully, we can get that 10 pounds on in the next 30 days.  Having her home for the next two weeks is really going to help!

D, age 18, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since.  UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side.  :-)  D at college and doing great!
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Red
You really DO know what you're doing! While you're there, does that 10 include a bit of insurance?  Hope it's going well.
The future is not set; there is no fate but that which we make for ourselves.

"Not my daughter, you bitch." Mrs. Weasley
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anotherbite_CAN
You got this, Mama!  Embrace the suck (as another wise mum said) and feed!  
Glad you have her home for a spell to get some traction.  
D dx at 10 years old in June 2011. She is now 16 and happy and healthy.  We were IP for 8 weeks and then refed at home for what felt like forever.  We chased vertical growth for years...as is typical for the age.
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mamabear
Read the thread I just posted on the Ed secrets my recovered Daughter is telling. I think it could be beneficial to you. They need supervision for a long long time- some more than others.

You know what to do. After going through a falling of HWC a week for years, I have not bought any other than to make whipped cream in a year. It can and will get better- get that weight up and keep it there... Go go go!
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
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GiveMeStrength_US
You sound energized, motivate, ready to do battle. I'm sure it sucks and there is nothing really positive about having to do this, but you are right, you DO know what to do and how to do it. This too shall pass.
Mom to D 21 in November, behaviors started at 15, hospitalized at 16, IP at 17, FBT at almost 18. Finished second year in college; now abroad in treatment program to deal with co-morbids.
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Maxine
You sound so motivated, mnmomUSA, that it is motivating me! Thanks for sharing your experiences. None of you will ever know how much of a lifeline this forum is to me!!! Would you be willing to share the name of the supplement you found at GNC?
Maxine, mom of daughter diagnosed with AN after severe stomach illness at 12.5 yrs. old; progressed to anxiety with compulsive exercise; presently refeeding at home
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mnmomUSA
Sigh.  Sigh.  Sigh.

Why oh why does this have to be SO DAMN HARD.  

Yesterday was just a struggle and battle all day.  Complete with throwing herself down on the floor, ranting about how she "hates us" and blah, blah, blah.  It's like being right back where we were in March 2013!  It just convinces me, however, that we are on the right track and that that stupid ED is back in her head.  

The real kicker was over dinner last night.  We have re-instituted the "time limit" rule on meals because this is one place that got out of hand over the last couple of months...taking an hour or more to finish food.  Not acceptable, and clearly the ED.  So, I told her she had 30 minutes time to eat dinner (and then I gave her 10 extra minutes as cushion).  I told her to watch the clock, and keep moving at a good pace.  Well, at 40 minutes time, there was about half the food remaining.  I calmly took it away, and replaced it with two Boost Plus drinks.  She screamed at me and carried on, but drank it VERY quickly (she hates this stuff).  Well, not 15 minutes later she says she feels nauseous and promptly throws up.    This is the FIRST time that this has ever happened to us, so I'm fairly certain that it wasn't intentional, and she seemed quite mortified by it.  (Of course, I have my spidey senses up and will be watching like a hawk for additional instances).  

Sigh.  I wasn't certain what to do at that point.  I waited 30 minutes, and fed her crackers, a banana, some apple juice and then a glass of whole milk.  It clearly is not a perfect substitute for what she SHOULD have had had, but it was the best I could do last night.  

Crap.  I hate this stupid friggen ED with every fiber of my being.  LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE.

On to a new round this morning.  I pray we have a better day.
D, age 18, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since.  UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side.  :-)  D at college and doing great!
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