F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

peanutmmUSA
Just wanted to jump back on to give some encouragement.

I came here 7 years ago looking for any hope I could find after my daughter was diagnosed with anorexia at 15. Sometimes it was hard to find anyone who was "completely recovered" here, and my theory then was that those people just didn't come back here anymore. I think that might be true.

My daughter graduated from college yesterday. I can truly say she is completely recovered. She celebrated during senior week with mimosas, sushi, ice cream, pizza...NORMAL college kid stuff. She KNOWS what her illness was all about and she takes care of herself...SO much better than her peers do. She understands herself and what she needs. And this experience has even helped me understand myself better.

How did we do it?  Well, my daughter is my hero...she did most of it. But I did use some advice from this forum (and admittedly, I threw some out). I guided her and fed her and listened to her and screamed at her and was patient with her and had food thrown at me and I threw some food and she cried and I cried and it was awful, but we got through it and we are so close now and I am so grateful.

The parts I followed were the ideas about sometimes being a dolphin and gently nudging and sometimes being a brick wall and not putting up with any BS.

The parts I threw out were when it was recommended not to let her eat the same thing every day for lunch at school (She was eating, so I didn't care what was going in her). I felt that if she got refed, the variety would come later and it did. Some people don't believe in "deceiving" their child. Some people feel they are "deceiving" Ed. I don't care who I was deceiving. The oil I added to anything I could and the cream and whatever got more calories in her worked. She didn't need to know about it.

We also got rid of all the professionals and did it ourselves. They just weren't right for us.

Once she got to an appropriate weight, what really worked (for us, anyway) was TIME. And staying vigilant and not letting her go backwards. TIME. TIME. TIME. Her brain eventually healed.

7 years out and I don't see one single sign of Ed. NOT ONE. Good riddance, Ed. You can suck it.

(100% RECOVERED...I don't know how to get rid of my tag)
97% recovered, living a full life
Quote
tina72
That is such great news!!! Thanks for that wonderful update! I wish you and your family all the best!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Mamaroo
Hi PeanutmmUSA

That is great news, thanks for the update! It is great to hear that your journey had a happy ending as well as to hear what advice worked for you and not. Wishing your d and the rest of your family all the best!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
Quote
scaredmom
Hi peanutmmUSA,
thank you! It is wonderful to hear that. I am so happy for you all! For those relatively early or struggling, no matter what stage they are at, I know this is helpful!!

As for changing your signature line go into your profile and click the pencil edit button where your signature line is and you can change it to 100%.
If you need help with that let me know here, and I can change it for you.
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
Quote
US_Mom
Thank you. I needed to hear that!
Quote
Frazzled
Thank you for sharing! Your story gives me hope. 
Quote
melstevUK
Well done to you all PeanutmmUSA.

Lovely news. And I totally agree, time is definitely needed to lead to the changes in the brain after weight has been restored.

I wish there was a 'quick fix' treatment available but noone seems to have found it.  
I am very happy that your d is now ed free and doing so well.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
Quote
Jojo2271
Thank you for such an uplifting update. 
Well done to you and your d. 
I wish her a bright and prosperous future 
Quote
kazi67
Thank you for sharing your exciting news!!
Well done to you and you d
100 percent recovered!! 👍😄😄😄
Happy days for you all
enjoy it and celebrate as I’m sure you are!  
BOTH u and your d are hero’s!!
I’m  sure she couldn’t of done it without you cheering her on and being there for her!
well done warrior mumma!

Such encouraging news for newbies too!!
we all know how hard it is and we all feel your happiness 
x
Quote
sandie
100%! How amazing! So pleased for you and so determined that we will get there too. Thank you. Xx
Quote
Ellesmum
This is fantastic to read, I’m so happy for you and determined one day I’ll be able to make a similar post.
Wishing you all a wonderful future x
Ellesmum
Quote
sk8r31
Thanks so much for coming back to the forum to share your 'happy ending'.  Congratulations to your d and to you on her college graduation!  Such a wonderful milestone, and so great that your d is enjoying life and chasing dreams and living up to her full potential.  

HOPE was the one thing I was so desperate for when we began our challenging ED journey, and you have given that to many families still working hard to help their loved one move into strong recovery.

Cheers to you & your d!
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
Quote
qurtis
I'm so very happy for you and pray for your family's ongoing happiness and good health. And you have given me so much hope today. I really needed to read a story like yours. 
Quote
Scarlett81
Congratulations! Thank you so much for coming back and sharing your story. My s was diagnosed 12 weeks ago age 15 and you have given me such hope for his future.  
I'm interested to hear that you decided to do it without professionals.  We are sharing the same thoughts here.
Thanks for the much needed inspiration! Xxx
Quote
Yogi13
Congratulations!  All the best to her for a bright future.  So encouraging to hear such an inspiring story.

xx
Quote
mamabear
Hey girl- I remember you! My girl is in complete recovery too! Just finished her first year of college, has a girlfriend, an album, and rocking life free of ED! 

So happy for your update! 
Persistent, consistent vigilance!
Quote
BlossomBe
Thank you for coming back to let us know! My daughter started her 8th grade school year (this past year) with 17 days in the hospital. (10 days and then a month later another 7...) Her 8th grade graduation this past Thursday was a good day (followed by a really hard day after that.) She is weight restored, but not eating fear foods yet and the compulsion to exercise is slowly coming back. (I think with the return to our "summer schedule.") We are going to keep on it though, and have a good team supporting us. I keep thinking forward to high school graduation in 4 years and (hopefully) college graduation after that, so this message was really powerful for me. Thanks again. 
Quote
teecee
Thank you so much for coming back!! I feel we are 97% recovered and living a full life but am hopeful for 100% in time. 
I feel buoyed by the things you did as we are doing it the same way. My D got RAN at 15...she is now 17 has recently started introducing variety including choosing cake chocolate and ice cream etc...making the choice herself. 
We still monitor and also believe in the dolphin analogy. 
We continue to have conversations to remind her about food being medicine...EVERYTHING in moderation. 
Quote
Foodsupport_AUS
Wonderful news to hear how well your daughter is doing. Congratulations on her graduation. Thank you for stopping by. I agree, that so many do move on when their kids are fully recovered. They want to and need to move on. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Quote
Playball40
That is awesome news and wonderful to read.  I'm very happy for your daughter and your family. 
Caroline
Quote
Zmom
You brought tears to my eyes.  Thank you.
Quote
HopeNZ
Wonderful, wonderful news, peanutmmUSA, thank you for sharing, and for giving us all hope and inspiration 🏆
Quote

        

WTadmin