F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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PurpleRain
It's been such an emotional rollercoaster since school started (still virtual mode around here).
She is happy and excited to be back (we homeschooled her for a year, not due to ED), exhausted (classes start at 7 am and she needs to be ready, fed and in front of the computer by that time and non stop till 2.20 pm except for a couple of 20 minutes breaks for mid morning snack and for lunch), stressed, frustrated, and she had her period this week. As a result she has been snappy, rude, impatient with everyone around including her beloved dogs.
On the bright side she apologized fairly quick, and when I was adding olive oil to the cous cous she voluntarily handed me her plate so I could add to hers.
 I'm trying not to supervise midmorning snack and lunch (I leave options for her and ask afterwards what did she eat, and we are all at home so it's not like eating completely unsupervised at school ), and have completely let go of afternoon snack, she has something some days, nothing other days.
I am also exhausted, happy to see advances, paranoid when she's aggressive (is it ED? Normal teen stuff?), frustrated because she uses jogging pants and sweatshirt almost daily and I sense body image issues lingering (granted, nobody at home is using regular clothing, my youngest is almost always in boxers, I stay in my pijamas much longer than I should, and hubby wears shirt with bermudas), exited when I see her trying on her new swimming suit, annoyed when she is rude to her brother. Man, ED (hers)+ teen years (also hers)+menopause(mine)+pandemia+ being my son's teacher dueidue to lockdown is a terrible combination. I actually said to my 10 yo non ED son, you and I are going to Grandma's for the weekend. Not going to do it this weekend (it's not that relaxing) but I definitively need somewhere to go for a break, probably my brother's (I use to go once a week and hasn't happened in a while).
Today ended in a good note but there were a couple of days this week when she stormed out and didn't talked to me at all.
I was never looking forward to the teen years, and I didn't even now that they will come together with ED and covid! It has been a really tough 18 months, we still have a long way to go, but I can start to at least imagine the light at the end of the tunnel (crossing all fingers and toes available that it's not an incoming train).
One thing is for sure, I couldn't have come this far without ATDT! 
Thanks for being here
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018. We found ATDT and started refeeding at home march 2019. WR+ cushion June 2019.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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Barberton
@PurpleRain, It sounds like you got the deluxe package of life happening there! When emotions run high it's hard to remember to pause and take a deep breath.
D fell down the rabbit hole of AN at age 11 after difficulty swallowing followed by rapid weight loss. Progressing well through recovery, but still climbing our way out of the hole.
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Enn
Just look at how far you have come. Look she has a new bathing suit and likes it. Look she gave her plate for olive oil. Stand back and observe objectively how good things really are, because they are! You did this. You are the boss and a great one at that. Big breath and enjoy the chaos, looks pretty normal to me. 💕 
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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PurpleRain
I guess I just need to find some time (ha ha yeah right) for self care.
Thanks Enn and Barberton for your replies and to those of you in the middle of refeeding, this is a marathon, not a sprint, but it does get better!
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018. We found ATDT and started refeeding at home march 2019. WR+ cushion June 2019.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding
 
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