F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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gubs60
I’ve used this forum and all it’s resources over the years and posted occasionally. My daughter is is WR (diagnosed at 14, did FBT ) eats all meals and snacks on her own, no true fear foods anymore and gets regular periods. Mood is good, graduating HS, social with new boyfriend. From advice on this forum I monitor her breakfast and dinner and make suggestions such as adding a fruit to your cereal or reassure her that she can have a potato and corn in the same dinner. Last night I made hamburgers for dinner and she insisted on driving to the store to buy an avocado that she said she really wanted on her hamburger (she started eating avocado when she became ill) If I let her, she would put avocado on her turkey sandwich everyday but I don’t buy them because I decided on my own that they are a trigger food for her. The avocado seems to nag at me and nobody understands why it bothers me. It’s like the avocado makes the hamburger safer?  Also when she drinks ice tea or soda she fills whole glass with ice but will refill her glass. There are a few others things that she can be somewhat rigid with. My point is that even though she eats burgers, sandwiches etc., there are remnants of the disorder there.. Not sure how serious they are but feel like if she can’t break them now they could be around for ever.  Any thoughts/ experiences advice would be great. Thanks!
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Ellesmum
Hmmm interesting,  on the face of what you’ve written I don’t honestly see much issue with those facts, after all avocados are very popular and in fact very fashionable right now, they are also great for adding calories. However, you have instincts for a reason, something is making you uncomfortable, I wonder if a bit more information on her other rigid ways might help with better answers.

My d still eats many of the things she did during her restriction, but did drop one item as it reminds her of the very worst time.   You may find her rigid ways fade with more food and time. 
Ellesmum
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sk8r31
Agree with Ellesmum that a little more time may be necessary for all behaviors to subside.  Also, a reminder that transition times, such as graduation, starting a new job, starting a new school, getting married/pregnant can be tricky and stressful.  I am always more attentive to my d and any behaviors around times of stress, and she's been in strong recovery for several years.  It's ok to step in at those times to provide a little more scaffolding and support if needed.  

Since your d is graduating from high school...yay! wonderful milestone!...she may need a little more supervision/support around meals.

Sending warm support,
sk8r31
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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Foodsupport_AUS
I think you are right to be concerned. It sounds as though in her head she is using the avocado to appease her ED thoughts, making things "more healthy" . It doesn't need to make sense. The glass full of ice also sounds very much like an ED behaviour. How much is she really getting, even if she refills the glass.

Is she still having any form of treatment? This does sound like residual ED, and as sk8r31 mentions there is that risk of going backwards at times of stress. Having strategies for dealing with those thoughts, and recognising that they are disordered - no one should ever have to go out just to get avocado to put on a burger - is really important. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Mamaroo
You have an interesting situation with regards to the avo and ice and I think you should listen to your guts. My d can get so fixated on certain foods for months and then wake up one day never to eat it again. I would recommend a gentle approach to get her to stop eating the avo with everything. Tell her that you're not going to drive just for avocados and that you'll get some the next time you're at the shops. Maybe make a salad with the avo in it, telling her it's the more normal way of eating it. My d used to drink water with flavouring and it became an obsession, so one day I told her the stops had run out. Yes, she sulked for a bit, but eventually was able to drink plain water. As for the ice, my 2 daughters love ice. It's winter here now and I've switched off the fridge's ice maker numerous times, only for them to switch it back on again. I would say as long as she's having the whole drink, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Maybe she craves fat and the avos provide a 'safe' source of fat. Increase her fat intake by adding butter, oil etc to her meals. You can also give her nuts and make sandwiches with peanut butter. Please keep us updated what worked for you, I'm sure there are many here who have similar problems. 
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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tina72
" My d can get so fixated on certain foods for months and then wake up one day never to eat it again."

My d does that since she was born. The doctors always said she is a seasonal eater 🙂.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Cruisealong
I don't have advise but I can relate to this. I remember as teen I wanted freedom and independence from my parents and would ask to go to the drug store for no apparent reason and just browse lip glass or something silly. So maybe your d wants independence? But how do you tell from ed behavior and normal teenage behavior, right? My d hung up the phone on me the other day - now before ed i would say on a good day she could still hang up on me, moms can easily upset a non-ed teen with a few words but was what i said trigging ed and her anger ed related?. i may never know. 
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