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KLB Show full post »

Today S has asked me if we can do an “interim” weigh in on Thursdays, which won’t officially count as a real weigh in (i.e. if he’s under he doesn’t get stopped from swimming unless he’s still under on ‘official‘ weigh in day on Mondays) so he can ensure he is on track to stay above his lower limit. I’m in two minds about it so told him I would think about it. On one hand it’s encouraging that his motivation to eat enough appears to be increasing now he is swimming again and it may well help him to stay on track and finally learn that he needs more than he thinks, but on the other hand is it just another ED behaviour and need for control? 

We haven’t heard back from CAMHS yet and no one seems to be answering the phone, but I think we’re going to try and  have the conversation and come up with a plan to get his weight up regardless. I don’t think it would be any easier to have CAMHS involved anyway since he is not really engaged with them at all. 

What I do sometimes to test the waters is to say no and see how my D reacts, that almost always let's me know weather it's ED talking or not.
13 yo d started to eat "healthy" September 2018, she had a growth spurt a bit later, followed by tummy bug. She started restricting breakfast and school lunch in January 2019 (that we know). We succesfully refed at home.
I have found inner strenght, patience and compassion that I did not know I had.
Never retreat, never surrender
keep feeding

If you are thinking about the plan for getting his weight up, maybe now is the time to do it. It sounds like it will cause conflict whenever it happens. I know it is not easy. 

Thinking on this, I think you should say no. If you know that he is eating all he should and he is not being restrictive in his eating there should be no need to see he is "on track". What it will give, is it will give ED a heads up that he needs to manipulate his weight. He should never be so close to the lower bar it is a problem. If he knows he was under three days prior it is likely to encourage him to try to do things to increase his weight - I won't mention them here- but it is common for those with ED to try to "increase their weight" with various techniques to avoid detection of weight loss or low weight. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Initially weight restored 2012. Relapse and continuously edging towards recovery. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
PurpleRain wrote:
What I do sometimes to test the waters is to say no and see how my D reacts, that almost always let's me know weather it's ED talking or not.

Good point!!

Also, if you do agree, maybe do blind weighing only, with just a calm "Thank you" and then he eats whatever you serve, no discussion.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.