F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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linefine
We've been refeeding for about 5 weeks, and D is doing well in terms of weight - has put on about 9lb in that time, and is generally, although extremely reluctantly, compliant with eating.

Two questions -

She still has zero appetite or hunger cues.  She's never hungry.  How long might it take before she gets back to being even a little bit hungry?  We know we're in this for the long haul, so not expecting overnight success at all; just wondering!  She (probably) has ARFID (no formal diagnosis) rather than AN or BN.

Also, does anyone else's D or S have trouble with chewing?  D periodically says she's "too tired to chew", (often with a mouth full!) and that her jaw is "too tired".  (She started this before we knew there was a problem, but looking back I can see it was already there.)
Heather

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always PROTECTS, always TRUSTS, always HOPES, always PERSEVERES. Love never fails.
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skechers
I can only speak to the hunger cues. During the first few months of refeeding D said she was never hungry. I'm not sure this is actually true or just ED trying to fight D getting the food she needed. It was probably a good six months post WR that I heard my D say she was hungry. She says it all the time now when she is hungry.
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Colleen
It takes a long time for most people. And it's very confusing because ED makes them unreliable reporters. My d was eating lumberjack portions and complained mightily about it - and it kinda made sense. But long afterward, she told me that she really was so hungry during that time - she really wanted to eat even more but ED wouldn't let her. Or maybe it would have and she'd have swung to binge eating. You can see how important it is for them to have choices about food taken away from them.
Colleen in the great Pacific Northwest, USA

"What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease."
Alexander Pope, 1688-1744
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Torie
It's so hard to know what's going on with them. My d said she was never hungry and everything tasted like cardboard except blueberries, which still tasted exactly the same. Go figure.

Every time I asked her if she was hungry she said no so I stopped asking. She never says she's hungry, but she does ask "When is dinner?" or similar. Took a l-o-o-o-n-g time for that. Maybe a year post wr? Or maybe longer.

I'm missing a lot of information, because my feeling is that if I ask a question, she is duty-bound to give an ed-answer. But fairly recently she has started volunteering comments like, "That is really good."

Wouldn't it be nice if Ed-kids came with an instruction manual along with information?

Keep up the good work! You're making great progress.

xx

Torie
"We are angels of hope, of healing, and of light. Darkness flees from us." -YP 
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Rayney
My dd also used to say she was never hungry when asked, but as Torie would ask are you doing my dinner, how long will dinner be etc.  However after about 8 months weight restored she started saying she was hungry and now seems to use typical teenage phrases like, I am starving!! and will even ask if I can buy her certain foods.  We are still not fully in phase 2 fully, but on our way.  Keep it up you will get there.x
17 years old, well into recovery and taking full control of food herself and gaining weight, she's loving life at the minute, it does get better!!
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Sotired
You could moulinex food if she is too tired to chew.you know,whizz it up in the blender, like baby food.thats how we fed my mum with her motor neurone disease.so I guess that's a choice you can offer.less chewing,same amount of calories...
Sotired42
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PuddleduckNZ
Unreliable reporters! That's so accurate Colleen!
Son 9yrs when he became unwell 2013, ED slide from April 2014, dx at 10yrs July 2014, 2 hospitalisations - dx so many times Behavioural Anorexia, EDNOS, ARFID. FBT from August 2014. Anxiety, Emetophobia. 13.5yrs old now! In recovery, gets better every day with constant vigilance, life returns.
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