F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

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YogurtParfait_US
Hello to parents and caregivers of little sufferers,

Not much action about the young ones these days here on the forum, but just to let you know that we have experienced parents of little ones here, keeping our eyes out for YOU to support you and help by sharing our experiences, etc.

My daughter started getting sick in kindergarten, diagnosed in first grade, and now is a robust rising 5th grader! This forum was my strongest support in getting her well. There are a number of parents here whose kids got sick in elementary school.

Welcome to all of you, and do feel free to post, and you'll find that parents of little ones will be quick to respond!
"Hope is a wonderful thing ... but hope by itself is not enough. Hope is the reason to take action, to make a plan and then to change the plan when it isn’t working - over and over and over again if necessary." Hannah Joseph (Let's Feast Friday Reflection, "Just Keep Going," Friday, March 3rd, 2015)
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Playball40
Thanks!  I was told by my daughter's grief therapist (her grandma had died) that she showed "symptoms of anorexia" and to watch her closely "when she was a teen".  Of course I knew nothing about RAN then and more or less ignored it.  Wish I had not done so.  She's 11 now and has been hospitalized and is currently in the re-feed process and PHP.  How I wish I could go back -- Very nervous as she will be starting the 6th grade in a month.
Caroline
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Boo94
Really tough, but fear not..me d was 11 too, she is now 12, nearly 13 and infirm remission , took a full year of hard work and constant supervision but she is ell now and life is pretty much normal. I'f we can get through it you can!!! Ask everything here, someone will have gone through the same thing and will have some sound advice! Xxx
Mother of 11 yr old girl diagnosed with RAN Feb 2014, WR April 14. Now 13 and in recovery/remission
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PuddleduckNZ
I am here too if any new parents of younger kids want to connect. My Son showed signs of ED at 8 and was very ill and hospitalised at 9.

Lots of confusion as to what was wrong and the diagnosis but in the end full blown ED.

He is 11 and doing very well now.

Stay hopeful xx
Son 9yrs when he became unwell 2013, ED slide from April 2014, dx at 10yrs July 2014, 2 hospitalisations - dx so many times Behavioural Anorexia, EDNOS, ARFID. FBT from August 2014. Anxiety, Emetophobia. 13.5yrs old now! In recovery, gets better every day with constant vigilance, life returns.
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JustFlippinEatItNZ
Hey puddleduck - what are you doing now that you weren't doing before the last hospital visit - I mean what do you think it is that has turned his recovery around so that progress is being made? I want to steal your ideas!
19yo D, AN since Sept 2014. Was wt restored for a year or two but now starving again, refusing treatment or to admit she has a problem. BMI guesstimate around 13 or 14. Has left home.
Very sad Mum.
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PuddleduckNZ
I honestly think it was the multi pronged approach, the olanzapine was a game changer for him, the structure of the hospital programme (his was tailored a bit differently to what you will know of at SS), 4wks of us being rested and some of the burden being shared by hospital staff (even though we were in a different city away from home it was the most rest and time together we had had in over a year). It helped to revive us a bit. So we were both at hospital the whole time, we did most of the meals with him and did it together. It wasn't a heap different than at home but we were more relaxed as we had the back up there of the nurses and he was tubed the whole time, til he left.

The WEIGHT gain. As he hit his WR target we saw improvement. I wanted him higher but he did put on good weight gain there and we were able to keep the momentum up straight after and put on 4kg more in the 4wks once home, so he is well higher than his target now.

The support of our FBT T and keeping everyone on the same page.

I will honestly say FBT is so so so difficult, I cant believe the hours I spent at the table in this last year. So. Many. Hours.

Being relentlessly patient and non emotional is just so hard, but every meal I served I tried to channel my calm and persistent supportive expectation.

Anything I can help with please pm me, I don't know if I can help but I'm happy to try!



Son 9yrs when he became unwell 2013, ED slide from April 2014, dx at 10yrs July 2014, 2 hospitalisations - dx so many times Behavioural Anorexia, EDNOS, ARFID. FBT from August 2014. Anxiety, Emetophobia. 13.5yrs old now! In recovery, gets better every day with constant vigilance, life returns.
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Boysmum
My son was 12 when diagnosed but looking back there were signs from when he was 11 and preparing to leave primary school that he was experiencing great anxiety and starting to restrict. Sadly we didn't pick it up for another 6 months. However onwards and upwards!
13 yr old son diagnosed April 2015 with Anorexia.
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YogurtParfait_US
I think many parents of teens with ED can look back and see that restriction started much earlier, sometimes years earlier ... but, somehow, their kids didn't get sick enough to draw notice. I know that my daughter's illness hadn't caught my attention yet, when she told me about it herself. How long would it have taken for her to get sick enough that we figured it out? I don't know!

Puddleduck, I'm so thankful to hear that the hospital program with medication and tubing allowed the weight gain needed to get your son headed in a healthy direction. Great news! He deserves a WONDERFUL childhood!

Sending hugs to all!
"Hope is a wonderful thing ... but hope by itself is not enough. Hope is the reason to take action, to make a plan and then to change the plan when it isn’t working - over and over and over again if necessary." Hannah Joseph (Let's Feast Friday Reflection, "Just Keep Going," Friday, March 3rd, 2015)
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PurpleCatUSA
I haven't written for a while, but I credit ATDT for saving us. Parents--listen to the advice you are getting here. It might make all the difference in the world. My d started skipping meals and not eating at school October 2014. She was 10. She probably started earlier, but this is when I noticed it day in and day out. I worked with her therapist (for significant pre-morbids) to emphasize being healthy, but that didn't change her behavior. In December, this therapist referred us to do a full ED evaluation. I found this site and started requiring that my d eat, and started added HWC and canola oil to what she was eating. I stopped the weight loss pretty quickly. We went for an ED evaluation, and I think that person was probably more harmful than helpful. However, I was able to recognize that quickly and move on. Since then, we have been seeing her regular therapist who leaves the eating issues alone. And, I did everything else (as a single, working mom).

By May 2015, my d was pretty much back on track. This summer has been great. I have monitored almost all meals and she is eating, we challenged her fear foods, and these seem to me disappearing. She is back to normal eating (for a now 11 year old).

I know that this is a relapsing illness. My sister thinks that school starting in a few weeks might cause d to stop eating fully. I am hoping she is wrong. But, if she is right, I am prepared. This semester, I have 3 days a week I can go to school and eat with her if I need to. I did this a bit in January and February. But, after that, I couldn't swing it. I started back in May. I do think it made a big difference. She didn't like having me come for lunch. And, now that she knows I will come and come everyday if I have to, she is motivated to eat!

Anyway, our case is complex due to the pre-morbids. But, the advice here was spot on.

So, if y have a younger one--make changes once you notice something. Don't wait for doctors or therapists. Don't wait for official diagnoses. Don't wait. Be agressive. Make changes quickly. Do everything you can to turn it around NOW as this illness is so much easier to treat when it is not entrenched.

Purple Car
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Bontoplen_USA
Wow I have not been here in awhile and it seems there are a lot of new parents here. My daughter's story is a little different, she has ARFID. I would be a very wealthy woman if I had a dollar for everytime the doctor said "keep offering new foods, she will eat" My daughter is eating all kinds of food now thanks to a wonderful team.I wish we would have found help earlier.My advice is to trust your gut, picky eating is a phase and if it persists it is something more. I have recently become a parent to parent mentor for a site called "Feeding Matters" and I am amazed at how many families struggle with this and how many don't know there is help out there. If it gets in the way of normal everyday life, then it is a problem.I should have known when I packed a bag full of food to cook at the hotel when we went to Disney World when my daughter was 6, or when I had to feed her dinner at home before we went out to dinner with family.This site was a turning point in my D's recovery
Bontoplen
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Steviasun
I can't believe this is happening....My d has just turned 7....I saw the signs just before she turned 6..her brother had been diagnosed when she was 4.I spoke of my concerns then to the consultant and was told...Her behaviour is definately not the start of ED...fussy eater..picky...now I really see...Been challenging the ED for a week!!!!..I can't believe it...son is nearly 16 was restricting at about 12 yrs...he is recovered??..havent told the consultant yet!!...
Mum of 14 yr old son with AN.  [image]
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