F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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goblin Show full post »
seaglass
By the way 0.7 gain in two weeks is great going at this stage. I know they set a higher target (is yours 0.5 per week?) but honestly you're doing so well.

I'm also hoping you've got the same doctor as we have (as she's great).

Hang in there. You are doing so well and FBT is supposed to support and empower you to keep on doing that. I might be wrong but I stamped my feet a bit when it didn't do that.

I know how little support you'll be getting from the Edinburgh CAHMS outpatient system. As in there are lots of days and nights when you feel you're completely on your own.

We're all here cheering you on.

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seaglass
Sorry... keep thinking of more to say!

We couldn't do smoothies, I read so much here about how helpful they are in terms of a big calorie boost and felt crap that my d just refuses them. If you CAN introduce then, fab. If not focus on other things. Hot choc, home baking, rapeseed oil added to whatever you can etc, etc...

Being in Edinburgh I know how bewildering early stages of treatment are. For us nobody seemed to explain anything in advance. The who, what, why of treatment... and so we were thrust into FBT and it was so hard and weird and tough.

I found great help privately and although am pretty tight financially if it's at all an option can point you to great counsellors for your d and for you, which proved crucial for us.

Sorry I keep replying! I just feel where you are.
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ValentinaGermania
Hi seaglass,
you can send goblin a private mail when you click on her name. Its surely very helpful if you have the same team.
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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ValentinaGermania
Hi goblin,
did the change in your d behaviour come up with the changing FBT trainer? Maybe Ed thought there is a gap now to use to come back.
It seems to be "normal" that you like to kill your treatment team now and then. What she said about the yoghurt cup is unbelievable. The problem is often that the team knows theoretic what to do and has not enough practical experience. That is the advantage of this forum - many experience that definitely works.
We were standing on the same weight for about a month and not gaining any more. Than I found that smoothie thing and 2 weeks later we made it up to target weight and now she is holding it for 5 weeks now just adding 1-2 smoothies a day. Try it with the shot glass. Make one without cream first, just fruit and canola oil. It looks light and smells light and we told our d its only fruit and its good for her digestion. You can add up to 100 ml canola oil to 400 ml fruit/vegetable smoothie without tasting it. Freeze little ice cubes so you have always some fresh smoothie and you can increase the portion easily. The canola oil is the best brain healer ever. Our d needed that. Now she is completely back again within the last 6 weeks. Try it. It will work and if she is used to it, it makes everything much more easier. You will get 1000 cal just with 2 drinks a day.
Tina72
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Foodsupport_AUS
Goblin, so sorry that you are struggling so much. The frustration of being undermined by CAMHS or other staff, or not being backed up when you make a valid suggestion. There is of course no correct way to do this. Every person with an eating disorder is an individual. What will help one person overcome their terror to eat will not work for others. 
My D ended up with multiple hospitalisations for medical instability. When we first started re-feeding the best I could manage was slowing the loss. Nothing like the intake you have managed. 
I tried most of the tricks suggested above, all without effect, before and every time she was discharged.

What did work for us was a combination of things. We did work with a meal plan. There was an agreed meal plan that she would eat. It was plain, boring and monotonous but she could contain her anxiety enough to eat it, still taking 1 or more hours for meals. This was slowly increased. D was kept out of the kitchen. I did weigh and measure her food, it eased her anxiety, it also allowed me to always give her a little more than she agreed to. The amounts I gave her slowly increased. 
I used plain bowls, cups and plates so that it was hard to gauge amounts. We also blind weighed. FBT uses open weighing but this can also get in the way, see the numerous threads about this. My D was also clear by this stage of the consequences of not being able to eat at home. That being said 

If she drinks hot chocolate, I would be offering her a lot of it. It is better that she eats regularly rather than bigger meals more widely spaced. The most important thing at the start is getting calories in and her weight going up.  The apple is barely worth fighting for. 
D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13. Mostly recovered 10 years later.  Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
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Mamaroo
Hi Goblin

I can see this is hard for you and I know exactly what you are going through. It sucks now, but it will get better. My d also used to hit herself and she also cut herself. I had to hide all sharp items, knives, scissors, vegetable peelers, pins, needles, compass and even sharp pencils. Even today I still hide my knives and still use a kindy scissor. When she hid herself I would also hold her arms, luckily she was so weak, she couldn't resist. I would tell her if it continue I would take her to emergency and that seemed to help. As some stage we had to lock the doors because she would run away, barefoot in the street! And the screaming and crying would go on and on, we would just leave her in her room (devoid of anything that could hurt her) and let her calm down as our presence just made it worse. Medication might help. We used over the counter anti-anxiety medication which was a life saver.

When my d became ill, she didn't have an ipad so I let her borrow mine for a while when she completed her meal. She started playing games, which required tokens, which need to be bought, so I gave her incentives towards an iTunes card for every day she followed her meal plan. I became an expert in finding iTunes cards on special.

I hope you can find help for yourself. I have one friend who supported me, but this it tough. This illness makes friends and family evaporate. I also ended up taking over the counter anti-anxiety meds, which also really helped.

Best wishes and sending you hugs
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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melstevUK
Hi Goblin and Seaglass,

I am late coming to this thread sorry about the awful time you are having Goblin, and that the team is not taking a firmer stance with your d's eating.  Can you insist that she takes the Olanzapine as it can be worth trying and very helpful in these early stages.  

Just to say that as you are both in Edinburgh, you might like to come along on a walk that SEDIG (Scottish Eating disorders Interest Group) is organising in Edinburgh on 2nd September.  I don't know if anything is on the website yet but the plan is for anyone involved, parents/carers, sufferers who are well enough to walk, former sufferers to come together and have a walk and the chance to meet other people who are or have known what the struggle is for a loved one with an eating disorder.  We haven't got the details worked out yet but the plan is for it to take place from two until four, probably ending up at the coffee shop which I believe is attached to Holyrood.  Please keep an eye out on the website, although I will post here on FEAST when I have exact meeting place and route.  
I haven't heard of the Edge group but any support group is worth attending.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
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