F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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momon
Here is the summary version of what will be several long updating posts:

My daughter, who fell ill with restrictive ED at age 10, finally this year at age 16  is in super solid recovery! It has been an extremely long, long road to the point that I stopped posting on here and reading for my mental health. The people I started on here with had long departed and we slogged on and on and on with me needing to feed her and cook super high calorie and push and push and push. The 1 year mark went by (we weren't one year people). ... the 3 year mark went by (so many said it was 3 years)..... 4 year.... even at 5 years I came home at lunch all summer long to feed my 15 year old kiddo.  All was good in so many ways, we had quick weight restoration and no relapse and a great treatment person until d wouldn't go any more. But no, not recovery.

She fell ill at about the time of her 10th birthday in the winter. First sign I saw that daughter was in trouble then was at a Christmas cookie party, she refused to eat the cookies and was fixated on getting me to eat them.  Never again, after that day, did she like cookies.  Skip ahead ... 6 freaking years and I"d use the real f word if I could because those 6 years have not been fun and 3 of them were complete hell.   Lo, at about the time of her 16th birthday, I had for the first time made the dough to Dorie Greenspan's cookies "World Peace Cookies".  These cookies are lush, chocolaty and a normal person would love to eat them.  They have to chill before baking. Daughter, looking at the dough said, "Can we eat them now?  "

World Peace broke out! I will post more later, but for now...

Yes, it can take 6 years and you can still get your lovely there, to a safe place! Take heart warrior moms and dads!  I never knew if I would ever be able to post this or she honestly be a success story. I never gave up on her but it was not fun. Is she worth it? Of course.  6 YEARS! And she got there.  Take that, you stupid ED! We kicked your ass.
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scaredmom
Oh momon,
Thank you so much for this. I think knowing that at one or three years if someone is still in the midst of ED this give us fuel to keep pushing forward. It is not a failure. It does not mean the child will not recover. It just means we keep going. 
i think sometimes when we hear about the stages of FBT it can feel like it is all going to be perfect one to two years in. That is not the case for most, that I am seeing here. It is work and it is worthwhile  work to keep it up for as long as it takes. 
I needed that today! 
Merci beaucoup!
and so wonderful for you all!!
When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open.  (Dejan Stojanovic)

Food+more food+time+love+good professional help+ATDT+no exercise+ state not just weight+/- the "right" medicine= healing---> recovery(--->life without ED)
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workingthrough
Sooooo happy for you!!!!!! She’s so blessed to have such an amazing mom!! 
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sandie
That is so wonderful. You have done Trojan work. Thank you so much for sharing. We need to keep going. Xxx
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sk8r31
Absolutely loved reading your update momon!  You are one fierce warrior mama!  Thank you so much for coming back to encourage others who may be feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and worried that they can't 'stay the course'.  You are my hero.❤
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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Mamaroo
That's wonderful news, I love your cookie story, we here at the forum can appreciate it. Thanks for sharing and best wishes for the future!
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9 and started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. View my recipes on my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLW6A6sDO3ZDq8npNm8_ww
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Mcmum
So happy for you! ! Thanks for posting.  We have a 10 year old now and it gives me hope that the road may be long but the destination can be recovery.  Have a great day xx
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teecee
I long for the day when my D can be truly ED free. I want to be able to use the word ‘carefree’ when people ask how she’s doing....I’m still pushing and poking the snake wherever possible. 😊💕
mum so heartened when I hear people come back and share. Thank you soooooo much 👍🏻😘💕
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pricie
Thankyou for posting, I really needed to hear that today! We are struggling through refeeding and have been for 18 months. I know early days and it is so so hard.  You are amazing!  I hope I can be as strong as you have been!  I to long for the day when my D is free of ED and she has her life back, Thankyou!! Xx
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kazi67
Great to hear of your update Momon
yay for you warrior mumma!! 
Kicking that ED up the backside lol
Your post will give hope to many in the trenches 
enjoy your cookies x
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deenl
Thanks so much for the update, momon.

We are in a similar situation, I think. Our son is eating everything, no fear foods, 3 meals, 3 snacks but I prepare everything, he is supervised by us for all meals except school lunch and break and I strongly have the feeling that without that oversight he would be sick again within a couple of weeks. He is in great form and doing well at school. So it is really encouraging for me to hear that we may be one of those families who really need to hold steady for a long time in order to be able to say
 
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Take that, you stupid ED! We kicked your ass.


Love it! Well done to you all.

Warm wishes,

D
2015 12yo son restricting but no body image issues, no fat phobia; lost weight IP! Oct 2015 home, stable but no progress. Medical hosp to kick start recovery Feb 2016. Slowly and cautiously gaining weight at home and seeing signs of our real kid.

May 2017 Hovering around WR. Mood great, mostly. Building up hour by hour at school after 18 months at home. Summer 2017 Happy, first trip away in years, food variety, begin socialising. Sept 2017, back to school FT first time in 2 years. [thumb] 2018 growing so fast hard to keep pace with weight
  • Swedish proverb: Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I need it most.
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence Recovery, then, is not an act but a habit. Aristotle.
  • If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal.
  • We cannot control the wind but we can direct the sail.
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tina72
Just back from our first totally normal holiday trip in year 3 with tons of good food and no ED on board and to read this here made my day today!!!
I am doing the happy dance for you!!!
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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treebird
Friggin amazing! That gives me hope 😊
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mjkz
So glad to read this.  There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not train.  Good to know.😁
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