F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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Aggie

Hi,
I’m really pleased to be able say that things are going well with my D, we are pushing on through fear foods and for the first time since 2016, I am feeling positive about the future. 

This is a question regarding my nephew who has been struggling with depression and low weight for some time. Having been through what we have, I have voiced my concerns over food several times and have tried to do what I can without over stepping things (his dad - my brother, lives 2 hours away, he is 25 and I think his mum, no matter what I say doesn’t quite get it). I’ve heard tonight that he hasn’t eaten for 4 days and am trying to formulate a plan, I know his appetite is poor because of the depression and I tried giving his mum a meal plan months ago, but it’s not been put in place, so I was thinking of at least getting some Ensure powder to kickstart things - can it be made up with full fat milk and ice cream instead of water.

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Scaredmom2019
Yes! We use Ensure and Boost often when depression/anxiety make food really hard. Calories are calories. We buy the Max and use the premade bottles. 360 calories a bottle.
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LaraB
Pleased about your D’s progress Aggie. So nice to feel hope. I hope you manage to help your nephew. 
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Aggie
Scaredmom2019
Thank you, I know our local Boots have the powder rather than the ready made which says to mix with water but I want to bump up the calories with milk & ice cream, which I know he will eat, I can’t see any reason it wouldn’t work, but wanted to check.
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Aggie
LaraB,
Thank you, it’s a lovely feeling to have some hope now.  After a long very one sided battle in which I had got to the point where I was starting to think this was the way life was going to be, I have to say hang in there, it comes with food and time and love x
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MKR
Hi @Aggie,

Is your sister-in-law aware that ED is genetic and neither she nor her son (nor your brother, for that matter) are to blame? These kids are just born with this sensitivity. 

But also that there is already ED-ucation in the family, close at hand.
Mum's Kitchen

14-y-o "healthy living" led to AN in 2017 and WR at 16. Current muscle dysmorphia.
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ValentinaGermania
Aggie,
if he has not eaten for 4 days that is very serious and I would ask my brother to go to a doctor or even A&E with him.
You are not there and his state can be already very bad. He might also be dryed out. This sounds bad. Please ask them to act.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Aggie
ValentinaGermania,
Whilst things are bad, I have now established that they are not as bad as the initial message I had received, but he has lost Some weight over the last week - at least his mum seems more ready to accept help and focus on getting his weight up.  We have talked through how to add in as many calories as possible to everything he eats, so hopefully it has sunk in now.
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ValentinaGermania
Thanks for the update, although still serious this sounds less critical. Please ask them to get him see a doctor for blood and heart check soon. He might have already water in his heart and they will not recognize that.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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