F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

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Enemy1
I found a family based intensive run jointly by UCSD and the Center for Balanced Living in Columbus OH for 20-30year olds. No one is talking about this - so does anyone know about it??

There are four sessions this summer - I think it's pretty new, but it seems to take the same family-based approach as the similar multi-family teen programs. My problem is that my D is college-age and so so so wants me NOT to be involved. She's agreed only VERY reluctantly to go - and now - after I have read some of the posts - I am terrified that we will all get there and think it a waste of time. My husband wants this to be over soooo much that he's taking a week from work - but the stakes are high.

After pretty much plateauing weight-wise for a year, D has recently stepped it up on challenging herself - partly from me pushing - which, again, she hates - therapist and nutritionist are more supporter (even enablers) than drivers. She's only recently began eating healthy fats - still hasn't gotten her period after two years of treatment. I've been told by all (and this makes me really resent the therapist) that my involvement 'helps' her AN.
So I wonder - could this program backfire? Could she hate this program so much that she does regress? She's a pretty sophisticated, jaded kid. She has been slogging through with a therapist and is NOT touchy feeling. She is close to WR so we are way way past early RF. Any words of advice?
D; 18; 2 years battling; regained 80% immediately; got stuck until Family-based intensive UCSD/Ohio
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Sotired
Why not try it.if you have your husband on board and your daughter is willing,go.you don't want to be wondering a year down the track 'what if.'what if you don't go and it turns out it is helpful?what if you go and get just one good idea?surely that's worth it.dont worry too much about what has worked or not worked for someone else here,this is your family's journey and no one else's.
To get your daughter on board is awesome,she obviously does appreciate the efforts you are making on her behalf but it is unlikely the anorexia will let her say that to you at this time.hope this helps but at the end of the day only you know what is right for you no matter what anyone says,an opinion is just that.the end decision is yours.
Sotired42
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WeNWinning
This program has been discussed on here because it is similar to the adult family intensive at UCSD, just different clinicians in Ohio.  If you want to go to the UCSD one I think they are every few months, but you would need to check.

I think there have been mixed reviews from other parent/s primarily about weight being set too low and more to what the Y/A would accept, rather than a full and accurate weight range, but if you have any concerns, I would call the folks at the place and express your concerns before deciding if it will benefit your D and family.

Ask specific questions about what your concerns are.

I do think that they will educate your whole family about ED's and try to have you all develop a contract before you go, but if you have concerns about your D's current treatment providers, it sounds like the clinicians at home need to be on board with helping her make progress rather than being enablers of her ED.

Would the folks at this family intensive pass on the recommendations to the current treatment providers?
I would ask many questions and see if you feel comfortable with the answers.

The longer they are in a malnourished state, the more entrenched the ED becomes.
If your D has not made progress with her current treatment providers, then you need to ask yourself, is it time to find new providers or even none at all.   

The first goal in treatment is to get accurately and fully weight restored, not to stagnate and not have a period for 2 years.

Sending strength and hope
WenWinning (formerly wenlow) - a Mom who has learned patience, determination, empathy, and inner strength to help her young adult daughter gain full remission after over a decade of illness and clinician set inaccurate weights
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Psycho_Mom
Hi,

I agree totally that the first and ONY meaningful step towards recovery is full and accurate weight restoration. Ask the UCSD program if they will help with that by helping you make a historical growth chart, figuring out an accurate target range and helping you assist and require your d to reach it? It sounds like that is what you need.

It also sounds like your d's current team has utterly failed, not only to take this first step but even to appreciate its importance. There can be no recovery without wr, and if your d hasn't resumed menses then she is not near wr. Also, the idea that a concerned parent is somehow detrimental to treatment is old-school and has been widely discredited. I think it would be great if you and your family were exposed to up-to-date, evidenced-based treatment models. Involvement and support from family has been shown to be an extremely effective tool in recovery, even for YA's.

best wishes,


D diagnosed with EDNOS May 2013 at age 15, refed at home Aug 2013, since then symptoms gradually lessened and we retaught her how to feed and care for herself, including individual therapy, family skills DBT class, SSRI medication and relapse-prevention strategies. Anxiety was pre-existing and I believe she was sporadically restricting since about age 9. She now eats and behaves like any normal older teen, and is enjoying school, friends, sports, music and thinking about the future.
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Enemy1
Thank you for the thoughtful responses. I don't feel that her growth history has been looked at with any scrutiny - so you helped  crystallize that - thanks - I push on that as we are considering..
D; 18; 2 years battling; regained 80% immediately; got stuck until Family-based intensive UCSD/Ohio
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sk8r31
We went to the UCSD Adolescent program 4 yrs ago with my d, who was 17 at the time, and had been ill for 3 years.  It was a game changer for our family.

I have since talked to a mom who did the UCSD YA program last year with her 19 yo, and was very happy.

As wen says, why not call the program, and speak to a therapist or two?  I did this before we decided to go.  Spent at least 2 hours on the phone, and got a lot of questions answered, which ultimately helped in making the decision to go.
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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Enemy1
I want to thank everyone for responding. It has taken me awhile to get back to this site because THINGS ARE GOING WELL. The family-based program in Ohio - Center for Balanced Living - was a complete game-changer for us. One week seems so short - but it was all it took to get our family on the same page. One week - after years of one on one therapy, a private nutritionist and tens of thousands of dollars - stuck stuck stuck - one week shocked us into a new way of thinking.
We are not through, but for the first time we see a path to recovery.
It was like a reset button - and if anyone wants to find out more - please message me.
As a parent fighting for SO long I learned that I had to give up control -  but in return we got a new nutrition plan that D bought in to, a weight range D heard loud and clear, and got her on meds to help her tolerate her all that - and a CONTRACT. Dr. Laura Hill is a genius as far as I'm concerned.
D; 18; 2 years battling; regained 80% immediately; got stuck until Family-based intensive UCSD/Ohio
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sk8r31
One week of skills-based training and good professional support CAN be a game-changer, and SO glad that it was effective for your d and family.

Really, really glad to hear that your d is moving forward towards recovery.  That is indeed wonderful news.

Sending all best wishes for forward momentum in recovery.
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
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WeNWinning
This is wonderful news and just what will help move forward in the right direction.  Wishing you well in having this new contract followed by your family and clinicians if you have any.  Most important is that your family developed this contract with your daughter and Dr Hill.  and it's good to hear that she is a genius in your eyes.

Sending strength and hope for continued progress
WenWinning (formerly wenlow) - a Mom who has learned patience, determination, empathy, and inner strength to help her young adult daughter gain full remission after over a decade of illness and clinician set inaccurate weights
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Enemy1

I have to add one thing here - one of the many reasons the Center for Balanced Living program in Ohio worked so well for us was because even though it was a day program they provided the food. It was appropriately challenging but with many, many choices. This was key. D had control over the choices but with supervision and within a range. Parents were taught that rigidity is OK as long as essential nutritional bar of each 'client' is being met (the center has its own nutrition system which is fantastic btw- not based on calories).
I don't think U San Diego provides the meals and frankly that would have been a disaster for us.
Good luck and don't give up!

 

D; 18; 2 years battling; regained 80% immediately; got stuck until Family-based intensive UCSD/Ohio
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