F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

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lostmum
I have noticed that adoption has come up quite a bit,and understand the impact it can have on someone as I was adopted as a baby but it had major effects on me and I feel was a contributor to my bulimia as I felt I dint know who I was what I should look like etc and had an adopted mother with disordered eating. What has helped in the last year was reading a book called The Primal Wound. I would reccommend it to ANyone involved in adopted - adoptees,adoptive parents,birth parents and family. I think if I had the insight the book gave me 20yrs ago I may have been able to deal with life better.
If you have ANY link with adoption PLEASE read it.
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rubiegirl8_USA
A very good book. I am a birth mom, and I know many other birth moms and many adoptees. There is deep pain and struggle for us all that anyone who hasn't been there could never understand. I find it quite similar to how anyone not in our ed struggle can't grasp the enormity and sometimes downright horror we experience.

I feel compelled to try to share information about ed as much as I feel compelled to share information about adoption. So I appreciate your suggesting such a powerful and informative book.

Hugs
dd 17yr old dx april 2013 at 12yrs old, W/R end of july 2013, phase 3, california
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lostmum
Thanks Rubiegirl,I hope everything is as good as it could be for u adoption wise,I have a lot of respect for birth mums. I also feel the same way as you to EdS boosting awareness as much as possible with the hope that u can make a difference. The Primal Wound is a tough read whatever way you are involved in adoption and I feel it's an essential read for anyone involved or close,I just wish I could get some of my family to read it and then they may understand me and my problems a bit more and help me to support my daughter too .
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YogurtParfait_US
I think some adoptive families only see adoption as a blessing to the adoptee and adoptive family. They don't understand the "loss" part of adoption. They don't see the adoptee's loss, only the adoptee's gain.

When we were adopting, we had a bunch of required training, and one was a workshop with a panel of adoptees on "loss in adoption." We also had a panel of birth moms in a different workshop.

It was a very informative workshop. I think most people don't understand the loss an adoptee experiences in losing birth heritage/history and birth family, even if adopted as an infant. In the adoptees I know, some feel that loss and some don't. It seems to be very individual. I have two who are close to me who are at opposite ends of that spectrum.

I have not, BTW, read The Primal Wound.
"Hope is a wonderful thing ... but hope by itself is not enough. Hope is the reason to take action, to make a plan and then to change the plan when it isn’t working - over and over and over again if necessary." Hannah Joseph (Let's Feast Friday Reflection, "Just Keep Going," Friday, March 3rd, 2015)
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