F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

Faddywrite
Hi sorry to.post again but my daughter is telling me she thinks she isnt getting enough fat..I dont think so either..She eats fish but not meat, cheese, nuts and nut butters, salmon at lesst once a week, egg sometimes.. add buuter to potatoes oil etc but am..struggling to.add more without it being saturated fat in things like pizza puddings cakes..She will eat Belvita biscuits which have fat in them..Is the only way to.add more via her fear foods like pudding cakes ice cream pizza etc? We are working on those now and she just found out we are having pizza tomorrow and is actually being ok just v scared about it. She has also regained the kilo that she lost last week through regular snacks thank goodness. She is 43.2kg and is 160.8cm tall.
Quote
US_Mom
I'm no expert as our nightmare just started last summer but my daughter won't eat meat either but will eat fish. I've been adding anchovies in oil (just dice them up small, almost to a paste) to a lot of sauces (like spaghetti sauce) and to tuna salad and also sardines in oil to tuna salad. Surprisingly, sardines are a pretty mild fish and really undetectable in tuna salad or casseroles like a fish pie I make or tuna casserole. I add flax seed oil to salad dressing, sauces, and muffins. I add extra butter, canola oil, or olive oil to rice or noodles. Hope this helps!
Quote
Faddywrite
Ooh thanks those are great ideas. I will try the sardine idea and I had forgotten about adding oil to rice. Will try that this week too. Thanks again!!
Quote
debra18
I put ground almonds in everything. Tell your daughter not to worry about what she needs to eat. She should trust you and eat what you give her. Tell her you have done research and are very knowledgeable about nutrition and what she needs.
Quote
Faddywrite
Will look out for ground almonds thanks! Yes that is what I tell my daughter. She is trying pizza for the first time in a year tomorrow.
Quote
Ellesmum
Ground almonds are great so definitely get those, all oven baked food here like pizza gets a good drizzle of oil before cooking, it just sinks in. 
Ellesmum
Quote
debra18
Pizza is a very good food for my daughter. Because one slice of pizza has everything she needs so it is easier for her to eat.
Quote
Anne_D
Our secret weapon is a nightly milkshake made of very high-fat ice cream and whipping cream.  She has it about an hour before bed, in addition to her three meals and three snacks a day.  Sounds like that might be a huge challenge for your daughter, but it definitely packs a lot of fat, and calcium, in a relatively small package.  Others have also posted their recipes for super-smoothies that include oils.  I tried adding ground almonds to my daughter’s milkshake, but the texture turned her off too much.
Quote
Faddywrite
debra18 wrote:
Pizza is a very good food for my daughter. Because one slice of pizza has everything she needs so it is easier for her to eat.


Hi Debra, yes in some ways a small amount of pizza is great due to high calories but all my daughter sees is a lot of saturated fat and salt! The only pizza she has had for a year is a pitta bread with tomato puree and a little sprinkling of cheese, but that is an ed pizza, she needs to try proper pizza sometimes..I feel cruel making her eat it but she will just stay scared of these foods.
Quote
Faddywrite
Yes will put extra oil on the pizza great idea thanks!
Quote
Faddywrite
Anne_D wrote:
Our secret weapon is a nightly milkshake made of very high-fat ice cream and whipping cream.  She has it about an hour before bed, in addition to her three meals and three snacks a day.  Sounds like that might be a huge challenge for your daughter, but it definitely packs a lot of fat, and calcium, in a relatively small package.  Others have also posted their recipes for super-smoothies that include oils.  I tried adding ground almonds to my daughter’s milkshake, but the texture turned her off too much.



Ooh yes my daughter would be terrifued of drinking that milkshake! We have to tackle proper ice cream soon abd cream.All she sees is an evil mix of fat and sugar!! 
Quote
Mamaroo
I add coconut oil or cream in my rice and it taste great.
If you buy tuna in a tin, look for one in oil and mix the oil and tuna together, it blends quite well together. 
You can make batter with lemonade (or any other soda / fizzy type of drink) and self raising flour and dip the fish into it and fry it in 1/2cm oil.
Here is a recipe for cheese toast: 4 slices of bread, 50g butter and 25g parmesan cheese. Mix the cheese and soften butter together and divide in 4. Spread one side of each slice of bread and cook it on a hot pan for a minute or two, turn over and fry the other side for a couple of seconds.
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her.
Quote
tina72
Can you give us some ideas what she eats at the moment and we can help you with ideas where to add more fat?
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Faddywrite
tina72 wrote:
Can you give us some ideas what she eats at the moment and we can help you with ideas where to add more fat?


Hi Tina sure,

She actually eats her meals really well but only if she feels they are "healthy". So she panics if we haven't done a large amount of vegetables and if she thinks we have added butter she will resist for a bit)

So this week she has had things like a big salmon fillet with rice and vegetables (we add butter when we bake the salmon)
Shepherds pie with Quorn mince (I fry the mince in extra oil and add cheese on top)

Quiche and baby potatoes, with butter on the potatoes (she hates this and the pastry in the quiche!)

Quorn chicken style stir fry with extra oil
Nut roast with potatoes etc

Tuna pasta with extra olive oil (I am going to try adding sardines as suggested this week)

Tonight we are cooking shop bought pizza for the first time in over a year (I cannot believe it's been that long!)

She eats fish but not meat. She does eat plenty of nuts and snacks on things like crumpets with peanut butter, cereal, and drinks a big glass of milk every night. But she is terrified of eating puddings, sweet things, chips or anything with lots of saturated fat etc. (she will eat some cheese as long as it fits into her plan for the day/week Belvita biscuits, protein bars and yoghurts,
Quote
tina72
Try to get the vegetable part down to maximum 1/3 of the plate, better less. Vegetables is lost food as there is no energy in it. Fry the vegetables if possible or add a sauce to them. Does she eat avocado? Can you make a homemade guarcamole?
Does she eat mushrooms? You can buy dried ones and fry them in a lot of fat and they will suck it in.
Vegetarian patties are also great fat suckers...

Hide oil in rice. Try mashed potatoes so she will not see the added butter and cream. You can melt cheese in white soups, would she eat califlower soup?
Did she eat meat before ED moved in? Do you eat meat? For the long run it might be worth to re-introduce it.

The big glas of milk is surely full fat milk but can you add a teaspoon of cream to it and shake it well and increase that every day until you have 1/4 cream in it?
You can also add a teaspoon canola oil to the yoghurt, if you stir it well she will not see it.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
Faddywrite
tina72 wrote:
Try to get the vegetable part down to maximum 1/3 of the plate, better less. Vegetables is lost food as there is no energy in it. Fry the vegetables if possible or add a sauce to them. Does she eat avocado? Can you make a homemade guarcamole?
Does she eat mushrooms? You can buy dried ones and fry them in a lot of fat and they will suck it in.
Vegetarian patties are also great fat suckers...

Hide oil in rice. Try mashed potatoes so she will not see the added butter and cream. You can melt cheese in white soups, would she eat califlower soup?
Did she eat meat before ED moved in? Do you eat meat? For the long run it might be worth to re-introduce it.

The big glas of milk is surely full fat milk but can you add a teaspoon of cream to it and shake it well and increase that every day until you have 1/4 cream in it?
You can also add a teaspoon canola oil to the yoghurt, if you stir it well she will not see it.


Hi thanks for some great ideas. She won't touch full fat milk but she drinks lots of semi skimmed. Veggie burgers I had forgotten about, thank you, I can do those for sure. She hates muchrooms but does like avocad, so think I'll be doing some mexican food later this week! My daughter wanted to be a vegetarian for probably a year or so before the ed arrived but we onlt let her around 14 months ago, a few months before there were any issues. Looking back, I had an old Facbook memory pop up from last february saying how slim my daughter was looking because she had grown so tall! Had no idea she was rapidly losing weight! She has compromised and eats fish now, so I do as much salmon as I can afford, huge fillets!! We eat meat, so i guess I could try to introduce it back but will try the fat first as it is a genuine ethical issue for my daughter she's a real animal lover.
Quote
Hibiscus
We had great success with pumpkin soup( carb loaded) put whatever you want in it and blend smooth, fill it out with cream , melt cheese in it then top with more ie visible cheese to serve. Serve with buttered toast.  High carb high fat. Another idea is cheesy potatoes( it probably has a real name) however it has thinly sliced potatoes ( or sweet potatoes) layered with grated cheese and cream, a few sprinkles through the layers of onion, mushrooms ( also we use diced bacon but your d wouldn’t like that) bake in oven till cooked. Use as a side dish. 
Nb when I cook quiche I use cream. 
Just a few ideas
Quote
Hibiscus
Sorry just to explain cheesy potatoes, you are essentially cooking the potatoes in cream
Quote
jcutch
Avocados are high in fat. We spread on wraps and toast or put over eggs. 
Quote
tina72
Semi skimmed milk:
Try to add some full fat milk into the semi skimmed container. Start with a small amount and increase it slowly. You might not believe home many moms here changed milk into another container on the supermarket parkings 😉.
Keep feeding. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Quote
nel
My D is much the same in that she resisted anything that she perceives as unhealthy, including most cheese, potatoes, pizza, desserts, etc. so I had to be very sneaky.  I saw significant improvement in weight gain and decreased AN symptoms when I started giving her an afternoon smoothie.  Unlike a milkshake, which she'd never eat, she perceived the smoothie as healthy.  I told her some of what was in it (a banana, frozen fruit, Greek yogurt, protein powder) but didn't tell her everything, and I made sure that she was out of the kitchen when I made it.  I routinely added extra protein powder and vegetable oil, usually around 1/3 c.  It blends beautifully and gave her the extra fat.  Later, I got even sneakier by premixing the smoothie when she wasn't with me, adding both Benecalorie and vegetable oil to the smoothie, then freezing it in ice cube trays.  This way, I could use the premade cubes and didn't have to worry about her seeing me add the oil.  She eventually got tired of fruit smoothies, and she asked for coffee flavored ones (plus the nutritionist said that I could back off adding the oil) so I switched to making mocha ones.  I still premake the ice cubes, but now I use high fat coffee ice cream, heavy whipping cream, and a chocolate protein powder that is for weight lifters to gain weight and muscle.  When I make the shake, I add the ice cubes, a banana, some Greek yogurt, more protein powder, and use heavy cream to thin it out.  She's not WR yet, but she's close, and the smoothie made a significant difference.
Nel
Quote
Ellesmum
I add double cream to yoghurt and Complan plus ground almonds to porridge oats.  I get away with a lot because I insisted on everything being eaten from proper bowls and plates, so yoghurt gets put in a bowl rather than being eaten from the pot, I insisted on this so things look more appetising and special (really it makes it much easier to quickly stir in cream/oil etc.) 

Milk as Tina said gets the treatment too, even ‘diet’ coke, castor sugar dissolves well into juice and other flavoured drinks, just be careful in fizzy ones, do it slowly or you’ll decorate the kitchen in brown sticky fizz like I did the other night! 

I reckon every calorie counts and I’m so glad I learned how well rapeseed oil disappears into stuff on this site. Even a tin of baked beans or a can of soup can take an extra 2/300 extra calories in rapeseed oil, and as for pasta, well...!

Ellesmum
Quote
sk8r31
My d resisted smoothies for the longest time, but she eventually 'caved' after seeing a plateful of things she would have to eat instead of a 'small' smoothie.  That nightly smoothie was really what helped to get her to a 1 kg/2 lb weekly weight gain.  Using frozen fruit in the smoothie (bananas, blueberries, strawberries or whatever fruit you d likes) may help her to see it as a 'healthier' option.  But of course you need full-fat milk or yogurt as well as calorically dense ice cream or frozen coconut cream.  Adding in ground nuts would be a really great option too.
Hang in there!
It is good to not only hope to be successful, but to expect it and accept it--Maya Angelou
Quote
cm72
Heavy whipping cream is the best! I use it instead of milk in her smoothies. I add it to yogurt. I add 1 tbsp olive oil to applesauce (mixes right in!).
I'm working on the peanut butter with my D. 
Quote
Mamaroo
Faddywrite wrote:

She won't touch full fat milk but she drinks lots of semi skimmed.

You could tell her that semi skimmed milk is more processed than full fat milk. Full fat dairy is actually very healthy. Here is a Time article on why full fat dairy is healthier that low fat:
http://time.com/3734033/whole-milk-dairy-fat/
D became obsessed with exercise at age 9. Started eating 'healthy' at age 9.5. Restricting couple of months later. IP for 2 weeks at age 10. Slowly refed for months on Ensures alone, followed by swap over with food at a snails pace. WR after a year at age 11 in March 2017. She is back to her old happy self and can eat anything put in front of her.
Quote

        

WTadmin