F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum

Welcome to F.E.A.S.T's Around The Dinner Table forum. This is a free service provided for parents of those suffering from eating disorders. It is moderated by kind, experienced, parent caregivers trained to guide you in how to use the forum and how to find resources to help you support your family member. This forum is for parents of patients with all eating disorder diagnoses, all ages, around the world.

Join these conversations already in progress:
• Road To Recovery - Stories of Hope
• Events for Parents and Caregivers Around the World
• Free F.E.A.S.T Conference Videos

Visit the F.E.A.S.T website for information and support.

If you need help using the forum please reach out to one of the moderators (listed below), or email us at bronwen@feast-ed.org.

melstevUK
As many forum members will know, d has been living a pretty full life but still underweight for some years now.  It has taken a lot of battling on my part to get her up and running with a new team in her university city, but I am glad to report that I met with her current psychiatrist and psychiatric nurse today.

Both the nurse and the psychiatrist were happy for me to be present, and I pointed out how well my d was doing in so many ways - enjoying her life, studying, socialising, and managing to eat even when ill, to keep herself well and out of hospital.

But I explained that I was now very concerned that time is running out and that she will have long term health problems with her bones if weight does not go on.  To that end, I asked that she be given a target of weight to put on before Easter, and if she does not gain any weight, that she be taken into hospital for intensive support.  I said I knew this was not the usual way of working but I felt it could work for my d.  The nurse indicated that she and d had already spoken about this and she said that a bed could be found if necessary.  The psychiatrist said that, if d did not manage to put weight on, then her chosen career of nursing was going to be jeopardised because d would not be physically well enough to work with the shifts and do her job and backed us in what we were saying that weight has to go on. 

D said that she was willing to work with nurse, dietician and me to make changes - and certainly in the car she was more open than she had been for a long time about her concerns and fears.

This was a very positive meeting, and I can honestly say that this is the best professional meeting I have had since d's illness was first diagnosed.  I actually felt listened to and that the professionals were on my side.  What a change!  The nurse even invited me to get in touch if I had any concerns or questions - then checked with my d that this was ok.  D confirmed that it was - in spite of everything she knows that I have her best interests at heart and was more than happy for me to be present and involved.
We will see what the next few months bring....

I think she felt that we were all united and standing up to the illness on her behalf.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
Quote
MarcellaUK
I'm so glad that this meeting went well. You've been battling both the illness and some professionals' inability/unwillingness to be of help for so long. All best wishes to you and your daughter as you take this new step
Fiona Marcella UK
Quote
MaddieUK
Hi melstev, what amazing news. I really hope this works for your d. It just shows what a difference the right team can make. Thinking of you both. Xx
Quote
Cherryusa
Cheers to 2013 !!!
Quote
IdgieThreadgood7USA
Oh Mel , I'm just so happy to hear this. It's just so helpful to have the support of a team.
"Sometimes you just have to be your own hero"
Quote
papyrusUSA
Melstev, Oh happy day...such great new!
Papyrus, Philadelphia area
Quote
Emily
Oh Melstev, this is just the best news!  I hope everything continues to go along in this new positive light.  Keep us posted.

Emily   xoxoxo
Quote
OneDirectionuk
So pleased you have a treatment team you feel confident in.  It will make a huge difference.  Hope your D continues to co-operate with treatment. x
Quote
Red
I can't tell you how pleased I was to read this! I hope they also spoke about supporting her through the anxiety that's almost bound to come along for a while. Keep us posted.
The future is not set; there is no fate but that which we make for ourselves.

"Not my daughter, you bitch." Mrs. Weasley
Quote
BattyMatty_UK
Mel, this is fantastic. I am so pleased because I am well aware that you've felt 'stuck' for some time. You are a wonderful mum to engineer these things and - wow - the clinicians sound ideal! Xxx
Bev Mattocks, mother of 24-year old male DX with RAN 2009, now recovered. Joined this forum in 2010 - it was a lifesaver.
 
Quote
Purple_UK
Great news, fab way to start the New Year!
Sounds like you've struck gold there with the medical team.
Very happy for you and your daughter x
Purple 
Where there's a will there's a way.
Quote
melstevUK
Thank you everyone so much for your good wishes.  I am confident that we will be able to make progress now - I can threaten with a real consequence, hospitalisation, if she does not agree to changes to her diet.  That will make a huge difference for me.
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
Theodore Roosevelt.
Quote

        

WTadmin