shux
Registered: May 24, 2009
Posts: 323
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| | Oct 24, 2009 at 06:25 AM | Reply with quote | #1 |
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MT Wednesdays are always pretty crappy round here but this one was a doozy. K decided that the only way she was going to get out of going was to take just enough of her brother's meds that she'd be sound asleep in ER instead of sitting in the MT's clinic scowling.
It was a truly horrible experience for everyone but I don't believe it was a suicide attempt...and neither did the shrink who assessed K. I brought K home still very, very sleepy and fed her her full day's food before bed. I felt it was important ED didn't see it as a significant win.
Not sure whether we'll see it again but I sure hope not. And a significant disincentive for K is that if she does repeat, she'll land in the Royal Brisbane Adolescent Psych unit where the staff are all trained in Maudsley ED methodology by - wait for it - Dr Ingrid !! - K's most hated MT in the world.
I posted more on the blog if anyone is interested.
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neverloseheart
Mentor
Registered: May 01, 2009
Posts: 1,129
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| | Oct 24, 2009 at 09:03 AM | Reply with quote | #2 |
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Welcome back! It's amazing that you can be going through all this and yet give very good advice to some of the newer parents! We have a lot of newer parents on the site now (welcome to all) and it's been very inspiring and reassuring to me that the same moms who were months ago reporting their girls sitting at table for 11 hours, or purging nonstop (that's mine!) or going up a tree and calling 911 or spoon feeding the meals are now confident mothers of recovering girls-giving advice to the new parents! It means what we are all doing really does work if we are patient and persistent and you get the best help you possibly can.
Shux you are in the awful middle of it and besieged on all sides but you are one heck of a woman!!!! I know deep inside your d knows that you are saving her. It just takes so much time for that anxiety to go away I think--there was a little quote from Jenni Schaefer on the forum a few days ago and she talked about how she had to live in her normal sized body for a very long time and finally she started loving it and moving on with her life. For my d, I'm also noticing that she's starting to want to move on with her life. She's been in her target weight zone for about 7 months now and I am finally seeing some happy changes in her outlook (and a little appreciation for her old mom too) In the past months, chaos of every nature seemed to follow her around and I was often frustrated, scared, and angry but still determined to find the right answers. Many times the only thing I could do was just to keep her safe and eating and ignore the other chaos. I was just hoping that the march of time at a normal weight would help all these other problems fade away and it does seem that was a factor. All of this is to say that I think you are doing a beautiful job and you are outlasting ED and one day he will start to go away and your d will start to think perhaps she likes the idea of being better and that she CAN do it because you knew she could all along!!!
XX HUGS XX |
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Maria
Mentor
Registered: July 31, 2007
Posts: 2,613
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| | Oct 24, 2009 at 09:38 AM | Reply with quote | #3 |
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Shux:
I am so sorry this happened. I am keeping your family in my prayers today.
I read your blog and I am in awe of you. You are an amazing woman and a Super Mom. I wish we could bottle your chutzpa [don't know the Aussie equivalent]and give it away to parents who are buckling under the pressure of the disorder.
You my dear have made our hall of fame wall and personally you are my heroine.
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Mamame
Moderator
Registered: Oct 30, 2008
Posts: 3,168
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| | Oct 24, 2009 at 01:14 PM | Reply with quote | #4 |
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Shux's is a "plucky Sheila".
A very strong, brave, tenacious Australian woman.
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Louie
Mentor
Registered: March 31, 2009
Posts: 1,157
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| | Oct 24, 2009 at 04:10 PM | Reply with quote | #5 |
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| Mamame, I am smiling at your words, yes Shux is a "plucky Sheila", she is also a "terrific broad", a "top bird", a "fab chic", and a woman I would wish to have as a friend and not a foe. Mmmm...you listening ED. NLH I am the spoon feeding Mum. Past history....just.
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Waterhous
Moderator
Registered: Nov 28, 2007
Posts: 1,105
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| | Oct 24, 2009 at 05:22 PM | Reply with quote | #6 |
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Shux that is really terrible but I am happy to hear that "suicidality" was ruled out. Wishing you a hot bath, nice tea or wine, peaceful day. |
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tryingmom
Mentor
Registered: July 31, 2007
Posts: 328
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| | Oct 24, 2009 at 11:31 PM | Reply with quote | #7 |
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| Shux, I know you are dealing with a very difficult situation. I do need to say, though, that my d has made multiple suicide attempts, often with med overdoses, and I would not assume that this was a trick to avoid a therapy session. I don't think psychiatry is an exact science, so the doctor's conclusion is only an opinion. If you talk to your d once things are calmer, you may find that she has been suicidal for a long time, that she may have been planning this or that she may have actually tried in the past, but failed. You should search her room for meds or other means of self harm and lock up all meds in your house including over the counter meds. At the very least, I would view this as a cry for help or, to put it another way, for safety. She may feel that she can't keep herself safe at home and needs the structure of an inpatient stay. Also, it is highly probable that she is being overwhelmed by negative thoughts that she doesn't deserve to live or is worthless--very typical in someone with an ED. Please try to look at her situation with a fresh eye and talk to her about your concern for her. I really don't think this was an act of manipulation.
Tryingmom |
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MarcellaUK
Moderator
Registered: July 31, 2007
Posts: 987
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| | Oct 25, 2009 at 11:19 AM | Reply with quote | #8 |
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While I agree that para suicidal behaviour and ideas should always be taken seriously I am glad Shux that the doctor who treated your daughter did not buy into the ED's ideas and agreed that you should take your daughter home. And I'm also glad for you that if she does need admission it will be to a place where the staff understand ED and will continue to treat it.
The trouble with many emergency room staff, and indeed general psychiatric staff, is that they often have no clue about ED, or even worse, outdated and dangerous ideas. It is my dream that, faced with similar situations to yours Shux, which sadly will occur from time to time with this ****** illness, all clinicians will have access to the latest knowledge and professional back up and will be able to act as sensibly as this one, backed up by the knowledge that should the patient genuinely not be secure in the home environment (for any reason, and however permanent or short term) there is somewhere safe where they can go to be treated both for the immediate crisis AND for the longer term ED.
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shux
Registered: May 24, 2009
Posts: 323
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| | Oct 27, 2009 at 09:23 AM | Reply with quote | #9 |
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It's Tuesday night. We've just got home from a *fabulous* leadership camp. K had some tough moments with ED but ended up having a great time. I'll blog about it when I get a minute. Tomorrow is Clinic day. I'm sleeping in the same room as K tonight. I've bought locking cupboards and all meds and sharps are away safe.
I'm determined to get a good night's sleep and not lay awake worrying about either J or K. Challenging.
Thanks for all your love and support and kind words. I'm keeping 'plucky sheila', 'terrific broad', 'fab chick' and 'top bird' and adding 'tough cookie' :-) I'll think of you all while I'm strapping on my you-know-whats in the morning.
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Louie
Mentor
Registered: March 31, 2009
Posts: 1,157
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shux
Registered: May 24, 2009
Posts: 323
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| | Oct 28, 2009 at 07:08 AM | Reply with quote | #11 |
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ED went nuts today. K refused to get in the car and go to Clinic. She sat huddled in the corner rocking and swearing at me between her teeth. It was bad. I called the MTs and in the end had the appt over the phone in the same room as K. A sort of compromise I guess. But ED will see it as a big win. She didn't want to eat after that but did in the end.
I tried to engage with K when she was on the floor and talk about her anxiety and got hate talk for my trouble. In the end I told her I was very concerned about how ED was playing with her head today so she'd have to be in the same room as me until I'm able to feel confident she's safe. I'll be sleeping in the same room as her again tonight.
She's had dinner and we just have supper to get through. I'll be glad when that's over and I can sleep. Totally fed up and feeling like punching something.
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girl14AusNSW
Mentor
Registered: Aug 23, 2009
Posts: 1,708
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| | Oct 28, 2009 at 07:26 AM | Reply with quote | #12 |
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Shux
go outside with a pillow and scream into it! I know it wasn't a great day but K still ate so maybe an OK day? I wish you a sound sleep and a better day tomorrow. Thinking of you and sending you a huge hug.
 You punching ED. good night XX Lynda
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Louie
Mentor
Registered: March 31, 2009
Posts: 1,157
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| | Oct 28, 2009 at 07:50 PM | Reply with quote | #13 |
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| Gosh Shux, I wish this wasn't so hard for you and your family....it is like a rollercoster. Hang on, today is a new day. (((hug))) |
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