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kayjay

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Reply with quote  #51 
Hi,

My D was on the Maudsley day programme. We live out of area, and were referred to the Maudsley at my insistence by our local CAMHS team when home refeeding with one contact per week, no medical monitoring and no family support etc wasn't working.

The day programme is very much tailored to the individual within the overall programme and they get them doing very 'normal' age appropriate stuff like eating at Nando's and coffee shops - they want to widen the young persons view of the world outside of their ED. The staff are very no nonsense in their approach and the family involvement is excellent.

The Maudsley programme is designed to be an intensive but relatively short term intervention (two half terms so 12-14 weeks), after which they have a step down programme during which the young person continues to see and be monitored by the staff they've gotten to know, with gradually decreasing frequency, with therapies tailored to their needs included. Our D ended up in IP care anyway as it turns out. She made great progress with the Maudsley but because her weight was so low when she started the programme, she was not in a place to cope with step down when the time came. I do fully intend to push for referral back to them when she is discharged from IP care though. I believe that compared with our local services she would have far better support in the transition from hospital to home and have a much better chance of not going back in.

Give them a call - I think your gp can also refer you xxx

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D, 16, diagnosed with AN Aug 2016. One day at a time...
keepsmiling

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Reply with quote  #52 
Kali - I love the idea of creating a 'recipe book' and increasing her meal variety bit by bit, great idea!  We do eat mostly the same as her but ages ago she had been told by T that as long as she had some form of carbohydrate that would be fine so with most meals (bolognese / curry / chilli) she will have a pitta bread rather than pasta, rice or potatoes.  It is something we want to change!  All her evening meals are what I would call 'one-pot' as she finds that easier than having lots of different foods on her plate.

Nelly-UK and kayjay - I know it sounds so stupid but I just couldn't get up the nerve to phone the Maudsley today, I am so scared that they will just redirect us back to the services we currently have, especially as though it sounds as if D will need to be compliant and she really wouldn't be.  I will be stronger tomorrow, I promise!

D knows increases will begin in two days time and her anxiety is already starting to show - she watches absolutely everything we are doing in the kitchen now, doesn't trust us at all.  Yesterday she refused her evening meal because she thought I had put extra oil into it - I hadn't.  I explained to her that we have promised not to put in increases until Wednesday so have stuck to that promise even though I want to do them now.  However, I also made it clear that as of Wednesday there will be increases and that the expectation will be that she eats them.  She still says she won't but it won't stop us fighting for her.  
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #53 
keepsmiling,

I did not tell my S in advance anything that I intended to do ( food wise).

With us , it would just have heightening the anxiety.

Also, From what you say, she negotiates and refuses,or at least ED does, so telling her is not working....
I would say I am not engaging with anorexia , end of conversation...
 
I would just say - Today you will have pasta shells with the bolognese sauce, and plate it and sit there,with the same meal as her, even if it took all day...
If it went on into the night, I would take her with her dinner and a drink, to a & e, especially as she is 17, just to shake things up. Many a story has been told of food consumed in hospital car parks....but be prepare to follow through...
ED is a monster, a hostage taker, so we have to be just as stubborn and extreme to counteract the beast in our kids brain...
Yesterday, when she refused her dinner and ED was in control and accusing you etc, I would have told her that she had to eat her dinner or go to hospital and be tube fed.

Quote
I explained to her that we have promised not to put in increases until Wednesday so have stuck to that promise even though I want to do them now.  However, I also made it clear that as of Wednesday there will be increases and that the expectation will be that she eats them.  She still says she won't but it won't stop us fighting for her. "

Again I would not negotiate or justify myself to the altar of anorexia...... 
Sorry if this is blunt, but I am trying to help empower you,
Best wishes TF

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
mjkz

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Reply with quote  #54 
Quote:
I am so scared that they will just redirect us back to the services we currently have, especially as though it sounds as if D will need to be compliant and she really wouldn't be. 


So what if they do?  These are people you may never see in your life or have to deal with.  I seriously doubt they will direct you back to the services you have since you haven't gotten very far with it.  They will realize that you need the help and if nothing else you can get that reinforced.

I agree with TF.  My daughter got no advanced warnings and got carted off to A&E with every single refusal.  It wasn't convenient or easy but it did underscore the fact that we needed more help than we were getting.  It also proved to my daughter that this was war and I was taking no prisoners. She was going to eat one way or another and if she chose to do it in the hospital parking lot, through a tube in the ER, or in a hospital-it was all the same to me.  She was getting the calories one way or another.
Foodsupport_AUS

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Reply with quote  #55 
Quote:
 My daughter got no advanced warnings and got carted off to A&E with every single refusal.  It wasn't convenient or easy but it did underscore the fact that we needed more help than we were getting.  It also proved to my daughter that this was war and I was taking no prisoners. She was going to eat one way or another and if she chose to do it in the hospital parking lot, through a tube in the ER, or in a hospital-it was all the same to me.  She was getting the calories one way or another.


It would be wonderful if Emergency Departments worldwide could/would respond with supporting this. My experience was that this doesn't happen. We attended with no food for 72 hours and were told to go home after having waited 3 hours to be seen. When I said I wouldn't take her without her eating, my dear D promptly drank the milk and muesli bar offered. We were advised that no food or NG feeding would be offered in Emergency in the future. 

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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
keepsmiling

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Reply with quote  #56 
TF - I appreciate your bluntness, it is what I need right now [smile]  I will definitely be doing what you suggested about not telling her what the increases are and following her around with her food until she realises we aren't going to give up.  

Unfortunately I have to agree with FoodsupportAUS that if we turned up at a&e when D had refused her meal we would just get turned away again.  Last time D refused to eat or drink for 36 hours we did actually get seen, D was admitted overnight but once she had drunk a small glass of water they released her!!  No food or IV was given or accepted over that period but D told them she would eat at home instead.  They told us that if she continued to refuse to eat then we would have to contact the eating disorder service and that they would deal with her but that it was not appropriate for us to take her to A&E.  Thankfully D decided that she hadn't enjoyed hospital so did eat at home again but that experience has not filled me with confidence in the system either [frown]  
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #57 
Yup we have had no joy in A&E either, sent home after various mental health meltdowns. Advised to call police instead! Not quite the same as not eating for days though.
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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
mjkz

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Reply with quote  #58 
Quote:
 Last time D refused to eat or drink for 36 hours we did actually get seen, D was admitted overnight but once she had drunk a small glass of water they released her!!  No food or IV was given or accepted over that period but D told them she would eat at home instead.


I would say you actually got attention and got something done.  It might not have been perfect but you did get seen.  Your daughter was admitted and started eating again at home because of it.  They might say that they will send you home but they do have to at least evaluate her and you never know where that might lead.

Same with you Foodsupport_Aus.  Your daughter ate and drank to get out of there.  The ER or A&E is not going to cure them nor will they necessarily be able to do much other than make it an unpleasant experience that our kids don't want to have to repeat.  Maybe I'm just more stubborn than most but I still took my kid in every missed meal no matter what they said or did.  It made the point that I was not going to give up and she was going to eat.  Were they perfect at A&E/ER?  No and I had plenty of experiences similar to your experiences but I didn't give up.  I think sometimes it was the only thing that made me feel like I was doing something in the face of days of refusal.
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #59 
In the past myself and a few others joked that once you present to emergency services with your sick vulnerable child 3 tiimes a report is generated each time which goes to camhs and social services. This then moves you up the pecking order for treatment options.
Its embarrassing for services that are supposed to be helping I presume.
Even if not alot happens, it will get noticed for certain.
Three times - that is the magic number!
Have you spoken to the Maudsley yet?
Its time your team had a review and planned something different.

__________________
NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #60 
I think what I am trying to say is maybe you could try shake it up
So she refuses, take her to a & e, she may well eat on the way or in the carpark.
You just do not know, it could be a turning point.
If she does not eat in the car park,take her into a&e & just see what happens, you are in a horrible situation now, what have you got to loose?
It will show anorexia That you mean business.
You say that she ate after the last a & e experience, she may well eat at the threat...
Who cares what the staff said last time about not coming,that wouldnt stop me.
PS good luck with her T today, let us know how you get on.

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
keepsmiling

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Reply with quote  #61 
Well, D saw her therapist yesterday but refused to say anything about it, only that an ED nurse would contact me to tell me what had been agreed.  So far they haven't.  D's anxiety has been rising and rising and she now watched everything in the kitchen like a hawk, sitting on the kitchen side as I prepare meals.  I have tolerated this as it hasn't made any difference to what I do but might make her feel a little more secure.  Today at tea she watched as I prepared the evening meal.  I weighed out her portion (still using scales at the moment, picking the battles) and did it exactly correctly but put it into a diferent bowl to normal.  She hated that and went to move her food into her normal bowl.  I agreed but then she got the scales to check that I had weighed it correctly at which point I took the scales away and told her to trust me, that I would only give her what she needed.  She said she wouldn't eat it and put the food - and the bowl - into the bin then went to her room.  I re-measured a new portion and told her that we expected her to eat it but she has completely refused again.  She tells me that she thinks I am going to 'cheat' her - my response was that she needs to trust me and that I will only give her what she needs, that I know how hard it must be for her but that this is the expectation.  She refused to eat despite all our efforts.

I have also contacted the Maudsley and they were great, they would welcome a referral to assess her but did say that it would need to be her choice to attend.  I have spoken to D who, unsurprisingly, said she won't go.  I pointed out that if she needs a higher level of care then their program might be better for her than IP if she could do it but she just refuses to acknowledge that she needs help.  Apparently her T and she have agreed a 'plan' for avoiding the increases we are putting in but I have again reminded her that it is up to us, as her parents, to decide what she needs.  I have also warned her that if she continues to refuse to eat then we will take her to a&e but I can't really tonight as she has eaten all the rest of her meals and snacks today.  However, we will go through with it if the refusals continue.

We have an appointment with her consultant next week where IP will probably be top of the agenda, especially if she cannot cope with the changes we are insisting on.  However, we will also be looking at other ways we can use FBT at home to get her weight moving in the right direction.  The next few days will decide which becomes most important.


toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #62 
Hi there,
Ok honestly, I am going to be blunt again.

Personally - My advice FWIW...
I would not enable anorexia in my home.
It is my home, I refuse to allow any family member starve or semi -starve in
My home.
I would NOT weigh her portions, I would not allow ED bully My kid & myself like that...NO WAY....
I would NOT let anorexia bully me & my kid while the meal is being prepared.
Anorexia must be broken. You need to take control. You are in charge, you are the captain of your ship, not ED not the therapist, not the ED nurse.
You do not need anybodys permission to change things or shake things up.

So she did not eat, I would take her to a & e now...yes I know she ate earlier, I would still take her, for sure, right now!
Re the T ,,, if she is triangulating then your D cannot see her again. I would bang down CAMHS door to get her into IP,
Again to shake it up, can you ask to see the consultant sooner as you have a serious complaint about the T...etc
Have it all written down... complain in writing before the meeting.
Again at 17 ...Time is running out before she is 18 ...
Get your duckies all lined up in a row before you see the consultant..
In the meantime, a & e trip today will show consultant & ED rhat you mean business.

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
MarcellaUK

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Reply with quote  #63 
It's phenomenally difficult when we KNOW what needs to be done, but also know that there is nothing in "the system" that will support us in doing it. 

I know that our local A&E would turn someone away if they'd only missed one meal, however obvious that they had an ED it was. They MIGHT send you round to the emergency GP but then it would be pot luck as to whether you were given advice to the child that she really should try to eat, or a lecture to the parent on being a controlling mother. If you do decide to try your local A&E I very much hope you get lucky and find it a more prepared, understanding place.

I hope that you can speed up the process of sorting out something with the consultant and the Maudsley. It doesn't sound as if the therapist is helpful at all. On the other hand, you only have your daughter's word for what went on in the room. She is unwell, confused and driven by the voice of her AN - she may either have mistaken what the T said, or be deliberately miscommunicating what went on in the hope of stalling more pressure to increase her food intake.  Sadly the lack of a call from the nurse may well be a result of delays and poor communication within the team and the fact that half of them are off sick with stress, but it may also be because that was never the plan in the first place and the T and the nurse are off liaising with the consultant about getting her in to the Maudsley. Things are hotting up and if a place at the Maudsley or an admission IP happens you may never find out what happened at the meeting.  

I wouldn't worry too much about her having to be a voluntary patient at the Maudsley. Our daughter swore (literally) and screamed and shouted that she would not cooperate with this or did not want to do that but usually agreed to it in the end. Two very helpful doctors explained the rules about consent in minors to her when we were doing FBT and that was very helpful in getting her resigned cooperation. Later after a relapse she was an inpatient for 8 months. Although it was a stormy time for all and a lot of screaming of "get me out of here" she remained a voluntary patient for the whole time. Deep down, whatever the AN might have screamed at her, d knew that she was being kept safe there. Half a week in a general psychiatric ward where the set up was decidedly unsafe for someone with an eating disorder also helped to make her realise that she was better off there than with the alternative 

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mjkz

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Reply with quote  #64 
It isn't surprising that her anxiety is going up.  You said increases today so I would start increasing.  If she refuses a meal, go to A&E even if she has eaten every other meal and snack if only to get across to her that every single meal and snack is important.  Throw out the scales!!  At this point, you've got nothing to lose.  I also wouldn't take what she says as being truthful.  If her therapist really is helping her with plan to avoid the increases, she desperately needs a new therapist. I totally agree with TF.  Even if she and therapist have a plan, anorexia couldn't live at my house and I made seeing her therapist dependent on eating.  I would take her for the evaluation at Maudsley. She might end up agreeing after hearing about the program but I would not allow her to choose whether or not to go to the evaluation.  It is the very basic of keeping her healthy and you as the parent need to guide her through her bad choices towards better ones.  Good luck and keep feeding.
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #65 
Agree, up the calories immediately, if she refuses take her to a and e. You said at the beginning you wanted to force the issue by withdrawing support, I actually think this may happen by doing the opposite and by increasing support ie feeding her.
And when you go to A& E you can hand on heart say she is unable to have full nutrition and hasnt for weeks.

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
keepsmiling

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Reply with quote  #66 
I am at a loss about what to do now.  D admits that she did not have her cereal this morning as we have made sure there is only high-fat milk in the fridge (another thing that was never insisted on by her team) but this afternoon she informed me that she has replaced the cereal but refuses to tell me with what so I have no idea what she is eating any more - I am at work when she has breakfast so don't see her eat it.  I do trust that she has it as she has always been open about what she has and has not eaten - taking pride in admitting when she has left something out and taunting us with the 'you can't make me' attitude - but not knowing what she is eating is so hard.  I know that even if I got her up early, she would refuse to eat until I left for work so that's pointless.  I cannot take any more time out of work at the moment so that isn't an option.  D has already told me she won't have her cocoa tonight too - I will make it but she won;t drink it.  I told her I will take her to a&e but she again says I can't make her, even adding 'good luck trying to make me'.   What do I do now?  I will make her tea as caloric as possible but again she has said if I try to cheat her over tea she'll refuse that too.  I still intend doing it but she's right, I couldn't force her into the car and to a&e, I cannot force feed her and I feel so helpless.  She is still in control and I am struggling with how to claw it back.  
IP seems the only possible way forward but she is adamant that she is not sectionable and I just don't know if she's right or not.  What if she is?  What do we do then?
Sorry, I am upset, cross and frustrated.  [frown]
EC_Mom

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Reply with quote  #67 
I'm sorry for your difficulty, it is really awful--and all extremely typical. Your d is NOT ABLE to eat on her own right now and it is not her fault. She will need supervised meals and snacks because the ED will force her to not eat, even if she is hungry. You need to be the boss so that ED is not her boss. Some people here have taken leave from work (I took family leave). Inpatient would also presumably be supervised eating. It's the only way out of this, i.e. the only way out is THROUGH.

Sometimes the ED makes a big stink about what it won't do and blah blah blah, but you have to not listen to it, and just keep insisting and requiring that the food be consumed. You have to close every loophole--watching her eat every bite. It doesn't matter what she/ED says or promises or threatens, she is not rational right now and it is not fair to expect her to do this without your insistence and presence. It sounds to me like she is hinting that ED won't let her do it, but you can insist and make her disobey ED. It is not easy, it's terrible, but you can do this.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #68 
Keepsmiling,
It is no suprise that she couldnt eat her breakfast.
She needs meal support.
I dont think that it is up to your team to insist that there is only full fat milk available for her, in your fridge.

As regards sectioniing, I have no idea as I thankfully haven't needed to, but to take what your (seriously mentally ill ) daughter says seriously that she is not sectionable is not prudent.

She really sounds very entrenched & very ill.
It is not her fault, her behaviour is a symptom, & it must be treated & food is her medicine.

I had to walk away from job, due to this very serious, possibly life threatening illness, & spend every mealtime supporting my S.
The only way out is through.

TF

__________________
Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
keepsmiling

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Reply with quote  #69 
Well, after listening D rant for ages it turns out that her T has decided she should be working on independent eating.  D is refusing the tea I have made her but wants to prepare her own, saying that she will eat but only her food.  She admits that she will eat enough to gain to 48 kilos then cut back to keep herself at her personal 'target weight' and no more.  D knows she cannot lose any more either or she risks sectioning but has proven extremely capable of keeping herself at a certain weight.  D has also told me to not come home for lunch, that she will make her own and if I continue to come home then she won't eat what I prepare, she will instead prepare her own after I leave for work again.  She keeps saying I should trust her (of course I don't) but I really don't know what to say to her.  I have taken away her laptop and ipod so she has no access to the internet any more and have told her that unless she eats the food I prepare for her then I will take away her crochet as well.  She has just said that she will prepare her own tea later but I have told her that is not an option, that we are in charge of her food and that she is not well enough to do that yet.   
I completely understand that she is frightened, scared and angry that we are challenging her but this whole independent stuff has obviously come from T and, yet again, we are being undermined.  
I have already emailed the consultant asking for her to look into sectioning prior to our meeting next week so that we can move faster towards that, have also asked for a referral to the Maudsley and asked for a change of T.  Is there anything else I need to do between now and then?  What do I do if D does try to make her own food?
NELLY_UK

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Reply with quote  #70 
I really feel for you. I was in a similar position, no sectionning, so no IP, refusal of voluntary 'help', refusal to stop binge purge, refusal to go to A&E. i made the mistake of saying the only way I would get her to A&E was by giving her an overdose. Everyone leapt into action to keep d safe from me!!! Notes went on files all over the place. I wasnt allowed to collect her meds any more. All this of course sent me round the twist. We got to the point when we refused to leave her aide after eating to ensure no purge and she got violent, we had to restrain her, it was awful. The ambulance wouldnt attend they said it was not a medical emergency even though self harm was involved. The police came and i was led to believe she would be put in a MH place of safety, but these dont exist, they put her in a cell overnight and let her out in the morning. She was 17.
I feel you are in a similarly frustrating position.
I clearly failed to get anywhere so I dont know how to advise you other than dont do what I did and allow them to divert attention from your d's health. Complain I guess.
The only thing I can see working if you are there 100% of the time feeding her until she eats enough to gain weight.
X

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NELLY D 18 bulimic since age 12, diagnosed in 2011. 20 months useless CAMHs,7 months great IP, home March 14..... more useless CAMHs.now an adult & no MH services are involved. I reached the end of my tether, tied a knot in it and am hanging on. Bulimia treatmentis in the dark ages in West Sussex.
toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #71 
Hi keepsmiling
Have you seen this?
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/experts-at-your-table-tickets-33970519739

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Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
hope21

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Reply with quote  #72 
This was posted tonight. You could maker reference to this for IP.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39882175
We are based in Scotland, and have a CAMHS team,
FBT, fortnightly Dr appointments for weight and bloods.
D has had some CBT sessions and learnt techniques for
Controlling anxiety but didn't engage with therapist so
Now stopped.
Have had four meetings with dietitians since March 2016. D has restrictive ED, five week
IP, aged 12 in August 2016. sectioned and NG fed
Due to medical complications, organs failing.
Had several attempts at phased returns to school, doing well socially.
Lowest weight 33.2 in August 2016 now 51 kg..
The IP saved her lift. The routine of three meals
And three snacks and introduction of MILK.

D is a vegetarian Pre AN, She is on three portions of milk a day.
Dietician recommend NOT hiding extras in food, we ignored this advice.
D is not allowed in the kitchen for meal prep. MUST eat everything on plate. More relaxed now but we followed the hospital times
For food. Still do with some flex. Removing her was hard and meg with much complaint but now complies.
There are very few specialist units and my D was too young. We were tied to using the unit here, all other clinics even if private work
On a referral basis. That's your consultant. They won't refer until you have tried and failed with the treatment provider in your catchment. However my D was in a
Mixed ward 12-18 year olds with mixed mental health issues. She'd only ever stayed a night
with grandparents. I had great concerns but it saved her life. She was so miserable she fought to get home. The shock of it all helped her fight. And the thought of IP keeps her fighting with my help.

Is your D on medication? We were given Olanzapine, which had helped greatly.
If you can't get IP. You need to remove her from the kichen. Introduce milk if you don't have it in. Bulk up meals. I add powdered milk and butter to what I can. Granola oil is good as well, it doesn't have a taste as such.? Slowly make the potions bigger.
Good luck






mjkz

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Reply with quote  #73 
Quote:
I completely understand that she is frightened, scared and angry that we are challenging her but this whole independent stuff has obviously come from T and, yet again, we are being undermined. 


I would keep doing what you are doing and also let her know that she has to follow your meal plan/eating what you give her in order to keep seeing her therapist.  Keep the internet/computer and crocheting stuff and keep doing what you are doing.  She will either lose enough weight that she is sectionable (although I would argue you probably could make a case now) or she will start eating what you give her.  I think your plan on talking to the consultant about the referral to Maudsley is an excellent idea.  Any food she eats that you didn't prepare doesn't count towards getting the internet/computer or crochet stuff back.

When my daughter tried things like this, I stopped buying her safe things.  She had no choice but to eat something else.  I honestly could never trust my daughter to eat meals or snacks on her own while so underweight.  I was lucky that I didn't have to work so it was not a choice for me but you may not be able to get this going forward without meal supervision.
keepsmiling

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Reply with quote  #74 
Thanks again for all your support, I am sorry I am still asking so many questions but cannot thank you all enough for answering and supporting me as we transition into this new phase.

As expected, I didn't sleep much last night but still feel that I can face another day.  I am already deciding how to feed her today and to let D know I mean business.  I can do this (with your help!!)

Nelly-UK, it sounds as though your situation was very similar to ours with D manipulating everyone and everything around her to make sure she does not have to recover but, like you, I will fight for what I know is best for her and if it means we go it alone then that's what we'll do.

TF - Thanks! Yes I have seen it and am hoping to be able to get there [smile]

hope21 - Unfortunately D is not on any medication as she has always refused it, against medical advice, but at 17 she is able to do that.  I think it's so wrong that, despite suffering from a severe mental illness, she still has the right to go against medical advice - the law should be changed!

Well, today is a new day and we'll all keep fighting for our children.  Hope you all have a good one [smile]

toothfairy

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Reply with quote  #75 
Gosh I meant to ask you about meds, so she refuses.
Could you use leverage on that....no internet, no phone unless you take meds?

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Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
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