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sunflower1

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Reply with quote  #1 
Our daughter 19 who is currently relaping is now asking for help. She is trying to get an appointment with REDS the regional eating disorder service and they are not returning our calls and she is beside herself feeling overwhelmed and drowning. Does any one know if private treatment is more effective or is it best to keep pushing to finally be heard in the public system. We are in Auckland New Zealand and would love to hear from anyone who has gone either route.
AUSSIEedfamily

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Reply with quote  #2 
Dear sunflower1,

I am in Western Australia so not sure how I can help other than to say sotired in in NZ and might be able to help

Here is a NZ resource you might try http://www.ed.org.nz/ the person who runs it is a FEASTie

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Kali

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Reply with quote  #3 
Hi Sunflower1

So sorry your daughter is relapsing. Keep trying to phone them. Be a polite but squeaky wheel.

There is a parent named SoTired who is very knowledgable about the NZ system perhaps she can weigh in with suggestions.

For the time being until your d. can be seen—is she at home with you or can she come home and stay with you, and can you and other family members sit and eat meals with her and support her in finding treatment and help her feel safe at home? It is a good sign that she is asking for help. 

Best wishes,

Kali



 

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Sotired

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Reply with quote  #4 
REDS is now called tupu ora,sunflower.the people I would ask to speak to would be rosie or craig Immelman.
Most likely they have been closed over Easter as they close over Xmas so you should have more luck contacting them today.
If your d is in immediate danger then please go through a&e for immediate assessment at whichever local hospital you are close to.
There is residential help available in Auckland at a place that used to be called thrive-it may also be under the tupu ora umbrella now.
There is also a therapist at tupu ora called Mandy who is amazing.
I am giving you names that I know from last year so I m hopeful that at least one of them will come in useful.
Private treatment is something we tried near the beginning of our ds illness,the therapist was great but our d was better off in the public system at that time as she required hospitalisation.they can be good-or woefully misinformed.you need a threrapist who sees you as part of your ds support system.who s willing to involve other agencies if needed.
If it's possible then please do as Kali suggested for now and sit with your d as much as possible while she eats and after.provide hi calorie meals and snacks.you can get fortisip at the chemist if you need to or your GP can get it prescribed hopefully.i know someone who just paid for it privately and it certainly helped.
I have sometimes had to just keep trying with tupu ora until they answered,but they are unlikely to have an immediate appointment so it's getting your d through til then that matters right now.
What is she able to eat,being as she wants help you might be able to help there.french toast has lots of calories but does not look overwhelming.milkshakes.
again,as it bears repeating,any immediate danger and take her for hospital assessment now.this includes suicide risk.
I am sorry I can't be of more help,if I think of anything else,I will post again.

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Sotired42
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Reply with quote  #5 
Hi and welcome to the group, though so sorry that you need to be here.  I am in the US so can't really help you out with your local choices but don't wait until you get an appt.  If your D is asking for help, that's a great sign.   If you tell us more about your living situation (do you live together?), is she in school, how often can you see her, etc., maybe we can help you come up with some things that you can start doing right away.   Hang in there. 
sunflower1

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hi thank you so tired and the others who have kindly offered some very helpful advice. We are still trying to go down the public health route and have spoken to some of the team from the service in Auckland. They take several weeks to process new patient requests. My daughter is still feeling very overwhelmed and distressed. We hope that she can see someone next week. Her bmi is 15,1 and her resting heart rate is 32Her blook trst results show liver damage and very low glucose. I have asked the Dr and some of the team if she should go to a&e but they said hospital will only admit if she is absolutely critically unwell and while she can still walk and talk they won't take her. So sad as if she had a broken bone she would be seen by now. She is very suicidal which is my biggest concern. Let's hope she stays alive by the time her paperwork is processed.
Kali

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Reply with quote  #7 
Hi Sunflower1

I'm wondering if you should take her over to A & E today. Her heart rate sounds very concerning as does the suicidality, liver damage, low glucose and her BMI. Someone with Anorexia can be walking and talking and still be critically medically unwell. It is better to be safe, and from what you describe, her safety is of the highest priority right now. Bear in mind that sometimes GP's are not that well educated in eating disorders and you are clearly worried and with good cause. 

How much are you able to get her to eat?

Sorry it is so difficult for your d. right now. 

You are not required to listen to what the Dr. told you if you don't agree with him/her and you do have very valid concerns.

Kali


 






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Sotired

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Reply with quote  #8 
I think they told you a load of bollocks ...makes me so cross.my d has been admitted into hospital with obs better than that as an 18 year old(adult).always take them to hospital if they are unwell,that's my rule.they would admit for the heart rate particularly as your d is asking for help.if she wasn't it might be different,but she is.
So take her to a&e and get her assessed as soon as you can.they have a duty of care and a clearly displayed patient bill of rights that you can use if necessary.
Their feelings -the staff at hospital-they don't get to use them as diagnostic criteria.there is clear diagnostic criteria that they have to follow.make sure they do a proper lying to standing orthostatic heart rate when you take her.
Don't take anyone's word as gospel,instead look up admitting criteria,but use only the stuff that is useful to you.
They do not have to be at the point of collapse.i would steamroll over any staff that told me that anywhere I took my d for treatment.
A&E tonight or tomorrow.check criteria for admission.look up the mental health unit attached to north shore if you have time.but hospital first.
Good luck,

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Sotired42
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Reply with quote  #9 
 I agree with the other posters.
She sounds critically unwell, please take her to a & e....


quote from Sotired
"They do not have to be at the point of collapse.i would steamroll over any staff that told me that anywhere I took my d for treatment."
I would too....

Best wishes

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Son,DX with AN, (purging type) age 13 in October 2015 ,  (4 months immediate inpatient) , Then FBT at home since.and making progress every day. He is now in good recovery, and Living life to the full like a normal teen. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time.
K63

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Reply with quote  #10 
Hi sunflower1, what dr in a caring profession could possibly say that it made me sick and worried reading it my God a 19 year old with such a low heart rate and say while she can walk and talk I would take her now to a&E and insist on treatment she needs fluids glucose and rest at the very least. It's so awful that other things are emergencies and they don't count this one. Fight for her as she is too unwell to do so herself . Warm thoughts to you at this terrible time.
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Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
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Reply with quote  #11 
Sunflower1 I have to agree, I would take her to A&E today, she needs assessment today not in a few days. 
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D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
AUSSIEedfamily

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Reply with quote  #12 
Dear sunflower1,

I agree with the others. Please take your D to the Accident & Emergency department.

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K63

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Reply with quote  #13 
Hi sunflower 1 thinking of you and your d hope you doing ok.
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Daughter started restricting in February 2014, tried re feeding at home hospital admission 4 1/2 months weight restored started restricting post discharge, back on meal plan full supervision weight restored april 2016. Starting to hand back responsibility for meals it's scary. 
sunflower1

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Reply with quote  #14 
Hi and thanks for all the supportive replies and advice. Sadly my daughter has said no to hospital as she has believed all the doctor said that a&e won't admit her as her bmi is over 15 and so she not sick enough. She has now finally been accepted as a patient for the out patient eating disorder service now known as tupu ora and they have said they will get in touch and book her in to see someone. I really hope she can begin to recover and weight restore as the whole family is so stressed atm by her illness.
OneToughMomma

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Reply with quote  #15 
It's good to hear that your d is now under the umbrella, sunflower1. Has she been medically assessed lately?

Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

xoOTM

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D in and out of EDNOS since age 8. dx RAN 2013. WR Aug '14. Graduated FBT June 2015 at 18 yrs old. [thumb]
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