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Reply with quote  #51 
Thank you all. Mjkz - good point, though it is almost impossible to get her to talk about her illness, but I will try this line. So much of the time it feels like she is passive and not able or willing to take any responsibility for any change, however small; however there have, of course, been times, albeit fleeting, when she has been able to do something to stand up to the voice in her head, like when she started eating again a couple of months back. If only that could have been sustained....

Torie - this unit is only for 13-18 year olds, so now she is 18 she is not allowed to stay - technically she is an adult, so that becomes a "safeguarding issue" because they now have an adult on an adolescent ward. I don't know if there is such a clear cut-off in units in other parts of the world, but in the UK there is a clear change at 18, when young people transition to adult mental health services from CAMHS (child & adolescent mental health services), and inpatient units are similarly organised either for under 18s or over 18s. The local council safeguarding team is putting pressure on the hospital to get her moved. More importantly, the unit is not an ED unit, and the staff do not have specialist ED knowledge and experience, so while they have kept her fed by ng and kept her safe, that's about it.

Will keep you posted when/if things change, but as always thank you all so much for just being there.


Mum to 17 year old daughter with AN,1 year IP from Feb 2015, discharged Feb 2016, WR but mentally nowhere near where she needs to be. Remained stable but rapid weight loss again leading to admission to specialist ED unit Sept 2016. Back round the circle...

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Reply with quote  #52 
Thank you all. Mjkz - good point, though it is almost impossible to get her to talk about her illness, but I will try this line.

I wouldn't give her the option of talking about it.  I would just say to her that there are beds but she has to be willing to keep herself safe to access them.  I wouldn't necessarily talk any more than that with her and I'm surprised that hasn't been said to her.  I would talk to her about the times she has successfully stood up to the ED and tell her she would get a lot more help and treatment for her ED in a specialized unit but that she has to make the effort to be safe to get it.  As sad and hard as it is, realistically she could be in limbo for a long time.  There are not many places here in the US that will take someone who is actively trying to kill herself even on the unit.  We ran into the same issue with my daughter and I had to really make it clear to her that there were places and opportunities for her but not if she didn't stop the self sabotaging behavior.  It was a hard conversation to have because I got nailed with a lot of guilt back at me about how hard she was trying and it was never good enough for me.  I just had to say try in a different way then.  Tying ligatures around your neck is not a reflex and it is not beyond her control to stop.  Just because she has those thoughts doesn't mean she has to act on them.  She can certainly have the thoughts and talk about them but she needs to stop acting on everything that comes into her head.  They are not rejecting her but her behavior and she may never get the help she needs if she can't stop the automatic thought to action.
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