Registered: 1383945735 Posts: 104
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I haven't posted in a while. 1st daughter, 18 1/2 years old, went down with AN about 4 years ago. It's been a long battle, but we are seeing positive signs that she has turned the corner and may be coming out.
Meanwhile, younger sister, 15, who has had a front row seat to the this whole ordeal, has been in bed the last 2 days, missed a birthday party and a day of theater camp, and didn't feel well enough to drive. I took her to the pediatrician today with symptoms SHE chose at check-in: lethargy, tiredness, fatigue, nausea, lack of appetite, weakness, headache, dizziness, and anxiety. The weighed her, and we waited for 45 min. Pediatrician came in the room, went on a long schpeel about vertigo, dizziness, and the possibility of a crystal on a hair inside her ear. Recommended ibuprofen, and if it doesn't clear up, go see an ENT. As she was walking out the door, I asked to see my d's weight chart. She hadn't even looked at it. She pulled it up, I pointed out the significant recent weight loss, and my concerned for an ED. She has lost 14 pounds in the last 8 months. Ped asked "Is there family history?" "Yes" I moved the laptop to where my 15-year-old could see it, and explained to her "See that drop? That's why you don't feel good." Suddenly pediatrician wanted to test for CBC, Chem, Sed rate, and mono, (CYA), and she left the room, and we didn't see her again. Not one word about what to do for an ED. My poor d. She cried "I didn't do it on purpose!" Me "I know, Honey. You didn't choose this. But we are going to have to consciously work to get you back out of it." She knows the drill: 3 meals + 3 snacks. __________________ d=18, R-AN, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Refed at home with information gathered from this forum and lots of books. Relapsed. Refed. Relapsed. Refed. 17 sessions with an excellent individual therapist. 19 sessions with unhelpful dietician. 3 sessions of DBT (didn't like it). Psychiatrist available if needed. Prozac - fail. Lexapro - fail. 5HTP - fail. Clorazepam/Klonopin = major improvement, only used when necessary. Genomind SLC6A4 short/short - not able to process SSRI's. d=15, lost 14 lbs in 8 months, Ped diagnosed as a crystal on a hair in the ear canal
Registered: 1368575859 Posts: 1,088
Reply with quote #2
So sorry that you are confronting this again. But, this time, you are armed and ready for battle. Although goodness knows I sure wouldn't want to do it again, I feel like I would have that sucker nailed if I had to. I KNOW so much more now than I did the first time, and I'm sure you do too!
__________________ D, age 17, first diagnosed March 20, 2013, RAN, at age 13 Hospitalized 3 weeks for medical stability. FBT at home since. UCSD Multi-family Intensive June 2015. We've arrived on the other side. :-)
Registered: 1284535839 Posts: 3,402
Reply with quote #3
Sorry that you are having to deal with this again. At least you know the first step, food and more food.
The paediatrician does not inspire confidence, perhaps even time to find a new one? __________________ D diagnosed restrictive AN June 2010 age 13.5. Weight restored July 2012. Relapse and now clawing our way back. Treatment: multiple hospitalisations and individual and family therapy.
Registered: 1352116227 Posts: 477
Reply with quote #4
Unfortunately you probably know more than the professionals regarding what d needs.
And it sounds like she has both insight and knows what's coming. Doesn't make it any easier.
You did a great job with no. 1, it is daunting but you can do this and you must gave a great relationship with younger d despite all she has been through with older d for her to come to you. __________________ I want a realistic dr and team, not someone who says what I want to hear and not a 'touchy feely nice' dr that doesn't have success.
Registered: 1438737617 Posts: 1,502
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My poor d. She cried "I didn't do it on purpose!"
Me "I know, Honey. You didn't choose this. But we are going to have to consciously work to get you back out of it." I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard that. She is so lucky to have a mom who notices and can help her get back to where she needs to be. It is so scary to see others falling down the rabbit hole.
Registered: 1396918777 Posts: 616
Reply with quote #6
Ditto --- I also had two D's who both suffered from AN. When the older D was ill at 15 I thought for sure the younger D would never get an ED because of how much she saw her sister suffer and how upset she was over her sister's illness. When the younger D was 15, all the same symptoms started entering our world and my H and I were in shock. I was in shock and so upset with myself thinking it was somehow my fault, that I caused this for both my D's. It took me many months to get that idea out of my head. It is not your fault. You did not cause this. Repeat those lines over and over again. You know what to do. Hang in there.
Registered: 1383945735 Posts: 104
Reply with quote #7
So tired - glad to hear of another family with 2. We can't be the only ones. My dh and I are in shock, just like you described. Its the most convincing evidence I've seen that they don't choose it. We never thought this one would go down with it. She would rationally talk about it, that she DOES NOT want to be like her sister and miss out on so much of life, how it's not worth it. She is so smart and logical and happy and healthy and strong and eager to do life. It's weird. The sudden onset. She's so tired and on the verge of tears. My dh seemed to think I was taking her to the doctor for nothing. He said it himself, if he hadn't seen the growth chart, he would have thought she was just pushing herself too hard lately, and needed to stay home and rest. Thank goodness for the growth chart. I think he's finally realizing now this isn't just teen girl silliness. If anything, it's evidence to me that this is definitely genetic. I was 15 years and 1 month at my lowest, my older d was 15 years and 1 month at her lowest, and now my younger d is 15 years and 5 months when caught. I also have 2 out of 3 sisters who went through this. __________________ d=18, R-AN, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Refed at home with information gathered from this forum and lots of books. Relapsed. Refed. Relapsed. Refed. 17 sessions with an excellent individual therapist. 19 sessions with unhelpful dietician. 3 sessions of DBT (didn't like it). Psychiatrist available if needed. Prozac - fail. Lexapro - fail. 5HTP - fail. Clorazepam/Klonopin = major improvement, only used when necessary. Genomind SLC6A4 short/short - not able to process SSRI's. d=15, lost 14 lbs in 8 months, Ped diagnosed as a crystal on a hair in the ear canal
Registered: 1488502987 Posts: 72
Reply with quote #8
Hi Sahmmy, how scary. Good for you mom to go with your instict.
I have twin girls recovering from ED and I had just told my younger D to be careful, and of course she said 'don't worry!' But now I'm worried.
If I may ask, can you tell me what are some of the things your younger D did to help her lose weight so subtly? Esp if she didn't mean it, what were thing done for her to be losing weight? Obviously you would have noticed dietary and activity changes. I just want to make sure I keep my eyes on them and recognize the signs. My younger D keeps to herself (and even before the chaos of her older sisters' illness) so I do feel like I need to be extra vigilant.....
Registered: 1383945735 Posts: 104
Reply with quote #9
Good for you to be vigilant. If I could give my 2 cents on what to watch out for... I've noticed in the last 6-9 months she's talked about and trending towards eating more healthy. She's always been a good eater of meat, fats, and milk so I never thought this would happen to her. She does excercises in her room. About 1 month ago, she discovered SALAD! First time in her life to LIKE anything green. A new discovery for the deliciousness of carrots and hummus. She asked me about 2 weeks ago if I had abs when I was her age? Did Dad have abs when he was young? She's been "stretching out', as my dh would say. I found 2 empty Vitamin water ZERO cals and Skinny popcorn bag in her room. She's serving herself less food on her plate at dinner time. She's planning on participating on the school swim team next year. I don't know if that might be causing some body anxiety? After the ped visit, we went straight to Whataburger for lunch. How about a cheeseburger, fries, and a shake for lunch? No shake, she said she recently figured out that milk is hurting her tummy. She used to get coffee with all the cream - but now she thinks she is lactose intolerant. Next day - how about we grab a cheeseburger on the way... No, she didn't want greasy food. So - a new aversion to milk and fat? If it runs in the family, I'm thinking that weighing at the pediatrician's every 3 - 6 months in the teen years would be smart. It's documented. You can't be blamed as the crazy mom when everyone can SEE the chart. Teenagers should not be losing weight. They are growing. __________________ d=18, R-AN, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Refed at home with information gathered from this forum and lots of books. Relapsed. Refed. Relapsed. Refed. 17 sessions with an excellent individual therapist. 19 sessions with unhelpful dietician. 3 sessions of DBT (didn't like it). Psychiatrist available if needed. Prozac - fail. Lexapro - fail. 5HTP - fail. Clorazepam/Klonopin = major improvement, only used when necessary. Genomind SLC6A4 short/short - not able to process SSRI's. d=15, lost 14 lbs in 8 months, Ped diagnosed as a crystal on a hair in the ear canal
Registered: 1431767540 Posts: 1,945
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Our second daughter has been trying to slide down the rabbit hole-I took her to the doctors and instigated monthly weigh ins.i instituted milkshakes every day for afternoon tea.i got much more pushback than I thought I would but this has greatly diminished as weight has gone on.i think monthly weigh ins are the minimum need-but I too had to fight my doctor aboutthem.in the end I just said that with all due respect I knew my daughters needs better than the doctor and that the doctor didn't seethe pushback we were getting at home.i willl only give a doctor as much respect as they give me.
I too never thought it could happen with this daughter as she has always loved food.it was a sobering reminder that this illness has a definite genetic component.
Thoughts are with you __________________ Sotired42
Registered: 1452437794 Posts: 2,051
Reply with quote #11
So sorry to read this. Great though that you are straight on to it.
What was the paed thinking??????
Well done you! __________________ Son,DX with AN, (purging type) in 2015 ,had 4 months immediate inpatient,then FBT at home since. He is now in strong recovery, and Living life to the full, like a "normal" teen. This is with thanks to ATDT. Hoping to get him into full recovery and remission one day at a time. Getting him to a much higher weight, and with a much higher calorie plan than his clinicians gave him as a target, was instrumental to getting him to the strong recovery that he is in now. Food is the medicine.