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mjkz

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Reply with quote  #26 
That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.  Why wouldn't they wait until tomorrow and discharge her directly to ERC PHP program?  Sometimes inpatient units make poor sense in their discharging protocols.

I think if this were my daughter, I'd be locking the bathroom.  She would get a set amount of time to use the bathroom and then she had to be out.  Her OCD rituals are just another way to avoid eating.  I was lucky in that I had a friend who was really big who once carried my daughter in her PJs out of bed and into the car, sat with her while I drove her to PHP and then carried her into PHP.  Sounds like you need my friend [biggrin].  Use whatever means you have to in order to get her there tomorrow.  She can sleep at PHP just as well as at home so if she won't go to bed, she still goes.

We ran into similar issues with my daughter and that was why PHP never worked for her.  She would just point blank refuse to do anything while there and there was nothing PHP could do other than recommend inpatient care.  Even while inpatient, they still had a hard time getting her to do anything they ask her to do like eat.  She made her own rules and unfortunately there was not much they could do other than discharge her for noncompliance.

Have they tried any meds with your daughter yet?  Mine didn't want to be on them but she didn't get a choice in it (and with a 12 year old, she shouldn't have any choice in it either).  They really helped with the rituals and obsessive behavior.
eternalhope

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Reply with quote  #27 
The psychiatrist during the inpatient stay talked to her about meds, and she refused them. So she left her with information about the meds. We just got home, ans she has holed herself up in her room and isn’t talking to us. We are giving her a little space. She was actually 100% compliant eating there and finishing meals. The ODD is aimed at us. We will do everything we can to get her their tomorrow. Update- in bed and asleep now.
tina72

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Reply with quote  #28 
Hi eternalhope,
I don´t understand that, really: you say the psychiatrist in IP talked with your 12 YEAR OLD D about meds and just let her refuse to take them? Really?
Do you think he would have discussed chemotherapy that way with her instead of you? I think this should be your decision and not hers.
I would not let a healthy 12 year old decide that and in that situation - no way. If you give her that much freedom at that age, how would you handle that at age 16?
As mjkz said, I think most of her OCD is trying to avoid eating. They do a lot of strange things under malnutrition...
So you might need to break that to help her. I think she will feel the same stress with that behaviour as with overexercising and isn´t able to stopp it herself.

I hope you get her to PHP today and find help there.
Keep us updated. We think at you.
Tina72
eternalhope

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Reply with quote  #29 
That is exactly what happened. Psychiatrist didn’t even write a script, so we don’t have a prescription to fill. She refused to come to PHP this morning, kicking when we tried to get her in the car. We called 911 to ask if a police officer could help us get her into the car. The officer arrived and said it wasn’t a police matter.. they don’t do that (the liaison officer with the school had suggested it.) He did speak with her (“reality” type talk) and she got into the car. We checked her in but she refused to eat as she had not taken a shower. I’m picking her up now.
mjkz

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Reply with quote  #30 
Good job Eternalhope!!!  If I had made a bet on this, I was sure you wouldn't get her to go.  The fact that you did is huge.  I think maybe you found what you can use as leverage to get her to eat.  After she eats, she can take a shower, not before.  I would encourage her telling her after she eats, she gets bathroom time to take a shower.  If she doesn't eat, she doesn't shower.

It is the PHP's problem to figure out how to get her to eat there quite frankly.  That is exactly why she is there.  They will need to figure out how to get her to eat.  At this point, she is still medically safe.  I would keep on taking her back and allow showering only after she eats.  She may end up needing to go inpatient again or need meds.  This might be a good time to talk to the psychiatrist at PHP about meds.  I told my daughter she either took the pills or she got injections.  She chose the pills.
eternalhope

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Reply with quote  #31 
It’s actially the opposite.. she is delaying getting into the shower, so she still hasn’t eaten. I wish I could use it as leverage. They did not get her to eat lunch or snack today. I know all of this must sound crazy, but her lack of maturity, combined with mental illness makes it so tough. I asked her to take a shower the minute we got home, and she threatened to not eat if I didn’t leave her alone. So I’m waiting to see what happens next, giving her some time. The inpatient unit just discharged her so I don’t think they would re-admit her, and they were awful. If we end up going to the Er tonight, I think they would just give her fluids and release her.
Kali

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Reply with quote  #32 

Hi Eternalhope,

Just sending a note to say I'm sorry things are so tough right now...
Have you been in touch with the team she worked with at ERC in Denver to explain how things are at the moment?
Maybe they have some ideas or good advice since they know her...

Also, another suggestion, have you thought about attending a NAMI Basics Course? I know that caregiving with ED is relentless and doesn't leave much extra time. I had attended one when my son was having some difficulties and found it difficult emotionally, but very helpful. They are free sessions which are run by parents of kids with mental health challenges who have been trained to lead the sessions and are not just eating disorders, there is a pretty wide spectrum of other issues also, bipolar, OCD, depression, etc. They believe that mental illness is a biological brain illness, so there is no family blaming. I found it was a supportive group of parents and I learned a lot from hearing other people's stories and discussing how to handle different situations. 

Here is their video explaining more about the program. There are 6 sessions and they meet once a week. Our group continued meeting occasionally afterward and had some guest speakers come in from different mental health resources in the area.



In solidarity...

Kali


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